Transformers Universe MUX
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Transformers Universe MUX
Transformers Universe MUX
10,410
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in: Available, Characters, Cobra,
and 4 more

Andrew Walker

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Doctor Scalpel
Doctor Scalpel
Personal information
Real Name

Andrew R. Walker

Birthplace

Death Valley, California

D.O.B.

Unknown

Alias(s)

Scalpel; EMS First Responder Harold Johnson

Military information
Service branch

Cobra R&D

Primary MOS

Doctor

Secondary MOS

Emergency Field Medicine

Rank

3 - Medi-Viper CO

Weapon(s)

Pistol, Scalpel

Organizational information
Factions

Cobra

Subteams

Medi-Vipers

“ Unlike most medical practitioners, my patients never ask me if it is going to hurt. They know it is going to hurt. ”

SCALPEL received his medical degree through the mail from a small college that advertised in the back of a magazine. His practical experience came from working as an assistant to a doctor in an illegal clinic that treated wounded gang members and other criminals. He joined Cobra not only for the money, but also for the chance to work on exotic injuries and wounds. His patients have a very high survival rate, but none of them would give SCALPEL points for bedside manner. As a matter of fact, there have been several complaints about "that nervous little giggle he has when he's working." Unlike many conventional medics, SCALPEL does not object to picking up a weapon and joining in the fight as long as it looks like his side is going to win. As far as he is concerned, it just means more potential patients for him, and he is above all else a man who enjoys his work.

History[]

Canonical/Pre-MUX/Theme History:[]

Scalpel is the codename used by Cobra medic Andrew R. Walker. Walker was born in Death Valley, California. Scalpel got his medical degree through the mail via a small uncertified college that advertised in the back of a magazine. His first practical experience came from working as an assistant to a doctor in an illegal clinic treating gang members and other criminals. He eventually joined Cobra not for the money, but for a chance to work on exotic injuries and wounds.

While Scalpel's patients have a high survival rate, he is known for a terrible bedside manner, and he is never gentle with his patients. Scalpel enjoys his work, and he doesn't object to picking up a weapon to fight, as long as his side is winning. Scalpel began working for Cobra sometime after the organization's return in 1997.

MUX History[]

Scalpel was present at the party where James McCullen Destro was attacked by a ninja and fell to his certain death.

OOC Notes[]

Logs/Posts[]

2016[]

2022[]

Jan 30 - Operations[]

All Personnel,

I have a group of prototype Medi-BATs ready for tonight. Once you activate your transponder, they will triage you on location. Remember, they are BATs in programming and if they deem you are unable to be saved, they will terminate as seen fit. If you can be recovered, they will retrieve you to my location where I will continue to take care of you. I will be armed and ready to cover but I am not set to engage in a full on firefight. If our medical set up is compromised, the Medi-BATs will switch over to hold out so I can evacuate with a patient or two.

There will also be a team of Mindbender's 'reprogrammed' Medi-Vipers deployed as well. Their fears, emotions, etc have been removed so do not hold out for their bedside manner to kick in. /Not that I have much of one myself./


-Scalpel/Walker

Jan 30 - Medi-BAT Experiments[]

From: Doctor Scalpel

Some of the Medi-BATS actually worked. Some had issues. Will talk to the Techno-Vipers about this field test. Will be addressing injuries and healing those that I can. Update after I triage everyone.

2023[]

Interrogator

Interrogator

Mar 31 - Synthoids[]

From: Scalpel
To: Mindbender, Cobra Commander, Baroness, Interrogator, Typhoid
CC: Baroness
Subject: Synthoids

       I am uncertain of who to properly address this to as there's a lot of aspects to this conversation that I am not particularly fond of being attached to. In regards to the housegues/playmate that Interrogator has decided to coopulate with... I am not sure of how much assistance I can further give. I have attached a MEDI-BAT detail to keep Interrogator and Mindbenders science experiment in a stable condition. Synthoids are more of a biological machine than an organism. With that being said, "F-ck it, I'm a Medi-Viper, not a Techno Viper.' Have a Techno-Viper look over the data and process what would be the best course of action for the living machine.


-Scalpel

PS: I also am having a battle-damaged older model of the MEDI-BAT prototype carry Soundwave around because I refuse to be told what to do by an outdated tape deck.

April 7, 2023[]

April 7 - Routine Physicals[]

Report: Cobra

Message: Routine Physicals

Author: (Scalpel) Walker

To: Staff, Command

Once again, it's around that time we deal with our routine check-ups and physicals. I have MEDI-BATs available for those who would prefer to not have a person look them over. Honestly, I don't want to see what the swimsuit is covering either so I hope you pick that option. But, as we say, we are medical professionals here.

If you think you are healthy and just need a checkup, see a MEDI-BAT. If you think you need to talk to someone about something, see Typhoid, myself, or a MEDI-VIPER. If you think you have something strange happening, please see Doctor Mindbender.

Additionally, no, I am not checking out Synthoids or whatever toys you ordered from the Dark Web's version of WISH.com. No, I am not dealing with the Dreadnoks. No, I am not checking out to see if Over Kill downloaded a new virus. Whoever suggested that he use Bumble --- shame on you.

No, Cesspool, I am not selling you the medical waste from these exams.

No, B.A. LeCarre, I am not sending you to a senior home yet.

If you have questions or concerns, please kindly redirect them to your CO about how and why health check ups are important to staying fit. I believe that you should at least do this routine visit with at least the MEDI-BAT just to be scanned for a fever, X-Rays, height and weight check ups, worms, and such. Or we can find out if Sefu's theory about Interrogator having a stick up his -- nevermind. I'll save the X-Rays for a fun trivia night in the mess hall for when we play 'Who had what wear?' and you can win bonus points for guessing the why and how!

Stop in or don't, it's your health!

Walker

Apr 07 - Medical Update Week of 4/7[]

To Command, Staff

Looks like our medical exams are off to a success. We just had two Toxo-Vipers come in for a checkup after not feeling well. After conversing and determining that the cause of their ailments stemmed from the Mess Hall, I can conclude that this a case of ‘furniture polish poisoning’ in which the new lounge furniture that we had custom made was not sealed correctly.

Furniture polish poisoning occurs when someone swallows or breathes in (inhales) liquid furniture polish. Some furniture polishes may also be sprayed into the eyes. Poisonous ingredients include hydrocarbons (such as waxes, oils, organic solvents). Folks, no matter the discount, do not purchase or use services from places that spell ‘Quality’ with as ‘Kwality.’ I get it, ‘Kwality Kobra Konnections and Kitchens’ might fit our theme, but you get what you paid for.

Speaking of getting results for what you paid for, I suppose I bring the unfortunate news that Lenny and Carl of the Springfield Nuclear Plant Toxo-Vipers will be treated and survive after a few stomach pumps, and we buffer their chemicals. Until we get the furniture properly replaced or treated. Or if you do decide to eat food that’s on this furniture, please see Typhoid as I’ve had my share of vomit for this weekend.

Additionally, Cobra cook B.A. LeCarre has informed me that some of the food in the freezer may have seen spoiled but he believes he was able to salvage most of it for tonight’s Friday Fiesta. If you partake in that, do not complain about a case of the Burrito Repeato.

Additionally, the Techno-Vipers have asked that you do not flush sanitation wipes and/or pads in the bathrooms. We are all proud that most of you are now using the hand washing stations and toilet paper. Quagmire, you’ve come a very long way!

That’s it for the Wellness Wind Down or whatever we’re calling it,

Andrew ‘Scalpel’ Walker

PS: I know I had typos in my reports. I really don’t care. If you need someone with proper grammar and editing stop seeing me about what you read on WebMD. No, a papercut does not instantly mean you are pregnant or dying of cancer.

Apr 14 - Sludge Viper 4123[]

To Command, Medical Staff

I asked a female patient with dementia what year it is. She said, "Oh, my, no, that's far too personal to discuss in polite company. A nice young lady like you shouldn't be concerned with such things." I didn't bother pointing out that I'm not a lady. I figured if she didn't notice the five o’clock shadow, then she wasn't going to understand an explanation either.

Filled her to transferred.

-Scalpel

Apr 17 - Monday Medical Meet Up[]

To: Staff, Command
From: Scalpel

Some Dreadnok came into the emergency department with burns on his lower extremities. His shoes are charred, and the bottoms of his pants are burned away but his skin isn’t so bad. He had been trying to use a propane-powered weed burner and things got a little out of control. I smelled alcohol on his breath, so I asked the guy if he had been drinking and he looked me directly in the eye and said, “Nooooo”. I got drunk just standing next to him. It was a once in a lifetime set up and I couldn’t help myself. As straight faced and professionally as possible I said, “Sir… liar, liar, pants on fire”. The Medi-Vipers all turned at once and ran out of the room, they were laughing so hard! Our Dreadnok just stared at me. He was so drunk it went totally over his head.

2024[]

Deadline

Deadline

Players[]

Gallery[]

References[]

MUK This page uses content from JMM’s My Useless Knowledge Website. The original article was at JMM's G.I. Joe Comics Home Page. A member of this wiki, User:Kadjem, was granted temporary permission to use this content. However, JMM’s My Useless Knowledge Website is not part of the GNU Free Documentation License program, so the content is being rewritten to adapt and fit into this wiki and avoid plagiarism.


Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.
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