Log Title: Learning to Trust Again Characters: Optimus Prime, Starlock Location: Iacon Date: 02/05/2021 TP: Non-TP Summary: Starlock and Prime spend a bit of time talking about their thoughts, in the process Starlock debates trusting Prime with the full details of what she has been doing. As logged by Starlock
Starlock is walking through Deacon, reading over some reports on her datapad, along with over a dozen other tabs open regarding the stuff she'd been looking in on at the hall of records.. She was humming as she walked, partly not paying attention, but the ever tired bags under her optics, she looked happy, which was.. definitely a change of pace from the last year.
- "Tried so long to get so strong
- But then I lost my way
- But right now hold my hand
- Marching on.
- Cannot lift a finger
- Feeling like I can't move forward
- Cause I was weak but now I want to be much stronger
- Cause there is something worth protecting
- It's all that I want
- And at the stroke of midnight"
Starlock starts to sing as she walks.
Optimus Prime is in his office at his desk reading reports. It is what it is. A shake of his head, optics crinkling and he sets one down and picks up another datapad.
- "Tried so long to get so strong
- But now I’ve found my way
- But right now hold my hand
- Marching on
- I’ve got to face the past I can’t erase
- The future that I can’t escape
- Until I can get stronger for the only one in my spark
- I will be glad to carry the weight!
- And if my world is already no more
- Then I must remember why I fought
- The scarlet lotus that has bloomed
- it shows me the way
- lighting the path to my fate
- Hear the crash of thunder.
- It’s so loud and now my ears are ringing
- Cause I was lost but if I keep on showing mercy
- I will not be able to protect them
- I already knew that!"
Starlock continues as she walks a slight spin as she steps, but then stops as she notices Primes office door and.. well.. her song ends there and she stares at it, lost in thought..
Thinking of the song she was just singing, she thinks how She wants to tell Prime what she's been doing, what all her shenanigan's up till this point have been for.. but at the same time what happened with Harmonex lingers, making her question if she could really.. /trust/ him with such information.
"What should I do?" She mutters aloud to herself with a sigh, as she rubs at her nose bridge.
Optimus Prime isn't entirely certain he's enjoying the comm chatter silent moment that's going on. But Elita's able to more than take care of herself. He stares off at a wall, optics dimming in thought. Then looks over at a monitor, eyes the todo list, then stands, deciding to take.. a walkabout. He walks to his door and it opens, the big convoy mech taking a step out before.. "Ahh. Well hello Starlock."
Snapping from her thoughts, Starlock flinches and lets out a squeak hearing Primes voice, bringing a leg up in a defensive position before letting out a weak laugh. "O-Oh.. Heeey Prime." She says with an awkward smile, before relaxing her posture and steps out of the way. "Sorry, hope I wasn't in your way." She'd add with a huff as she attempted to recollect herself.
Optimus Prime raises brows at the sudden movement and squeak. "er." then he gives a shake of his head, "Not at all, I suspect there are moments where opening this door would find someone or another either about to fall in or actually falling in. As if there's anything secret going on." A wave to the desk piled with datapads, "Paperwork. It buries me." Wry tone to his voice, "Nice reflexes."
Starlock lets out a snort as she thinks about that, mainly Hot Rod and Dust Devil trying to listen in and then falling face first onto the floor, only to see a mountain of paperwork blocking primes view at the desk, that got a grin out of her.
"Erm... Thanks, was lost in thought, so the sudden movement startled me." she admits a bit embarrassed with a smile. At least her training was working!
Optimus Prime chuckles in that low tone of his. "I get lost in thoughts. Was going to take a short walk-a-bout to clear mine before I went back to it."
Starlock hehs, and looks down at her Datapad, silent a moment, before turning off the screen and huffs out. "Mind if I walk with then? Nice to have someone to talk to about said thoughts." she says, TRYING to do what she does with others.. treat Prime like a person, and not some guy with a massive power imbalance over her.
"...Or, least, its nice for me.. helps me sort them easier through all the noise." She'd add.
Optimus Prime smiles to himself, "I don't mind at all. I'm afraid I'm not the best of company. I do tend to.. ahh what was it.... Ahh yes, brood and dwell on idiot mechs doing idiot things because they're simply idiots." A wink of an optic as he stats to walk slowly, steps measured so as not to push Starlock to jog to keep up.
Oh the joys of being a mini-bot with tiny legs in a place full of meches twice the size you are! Starlock chuckles. "Sounds like Hot Rod and Sideswipe." Starlock says as she walks. "Idiots keep getting into fights and just.." She'd sigh, clearly stressed out by that, but puts it to the side in her mind as she walks.
She looks up at the ceiling as she walks, where to start.. where to start.. "So many things, I don't know where to even start.. or how to put it all into words."
Optimus Prime hmms, "Well, Usually the beginning but oft times the middle serves as well. then you can back up or move forward as needed to get it all out."
Starlock rocks her helm side to side as she thinks about it and vents out a huff. "...I guess I wonder if I am doing better in 'other' peoples optics." She admits as a start. "...I maybe feeling a bit better and think I am doing better, but that doesn't mean others view it that way, so makes it hard for me to really gauge." She'd admit, feeling her optics well, and unsure why, which actually confused her.
Optimus Prime ahhs, continuing that slow walk he's selected. "You're looking for an outside opinion or commentary to support what you're internalizing then? You don't trust your own perspective?" tone thoughtful, gentle.
"I suppose, maybe?" Starlock says with a hm. "...And Yes, I don't trust my perception, I know it can be tainted, biased, and wrong.. and I know I am too harsh on myself, be it aloud or internally." Starlock explains before placing a hand over her forehead, and sliding down to her optics. "Often feel like it's just me fishing for compliments, so I don't.. normally.. ask." She cringes.
Optimus Prime nods, walking. "Asking for feedback on performance is not the same as fishing for compliments but the wording could make one seem to be the other." Pausing before adding, "it does depend on how you word the question, Am I doing well verses how am I doing, for example."
Starlock hms as she listens, and nods. "...I'm not.. good with words, its one of my bigger weaknesses, so.. stuff like that does help." Starlock says with a nod, a bit grateful for that. "...I've not heard anything for sometime so.. i'm partly wondering if I am doing something or the same things wrong, thus, no one saying anything as I've not done anything to show progress." Starlock says, as she finds the words with Primes help.
Optimus Prime chuckles, "Yes, I remember a time where speaking words, verses writing them, was also not my forte. It takes time and.. yes some personal discomfort to teach yourself when to use which words. As for answering your question, I have not had any negative reports on your performance. I have also not had any -positive- reports although I suspect that may be due to your work with the Wreckers being curtailed for more activity in medical.. based on Hot Rod And Sideswipes apparent compition on who gets the next medbed named after them."
- <<Autobot>> Elita One says, "And that...ends that."
- <<Autobot>> Elita One says, "*explosions in the background*"
- <<Autobot>> Sludge says, "Hmmm...?"
- <<Autobot>> Optimus Prime says, "It does sound like you had an.. interesting outing."
- <<Autobot>> Sideswipe says, "... Take it they came out the worse?"
- <<Autobot>> Elita One says, "Smeltdown and Blitzwing are scrapped"
- <<Autobot>> Elita One says, "If Motormaster joins in, he'll be another on the pile."
"Yeeeep" Starlock says dryly in regards to her medical work, her annoyance on such showing. "Tempted to maglock them to the berths for about two weeks." Starlock admits as she squints ahead.
"...But yeah, I guess.. it feeds into me feeling frustrated that.. perhaps I'm not progressing, or moving forward, and feeling held down." She'd huff.
"....But before you say anything regarding that, how about you also put one your thoughts out there, that way this isn't totally one-sided." She'd smile some with a raised ridge, grinning at the sounds of explosions in the background of her radio, from Elita.
Optimus Prime chuckles, "Well then. A thought.. Hmmm." He looks off, considering, "The report of lower supplies is concerning. I know there are sorties going out to collect as well as other means of procurement. So, I simply concern myself with looking at other ways to assist in that. Perhaps reachingout to one of the colonies and trading."
"It was mostly meant to be a signal that we where going through parts faster then we could make them, but.. Yeah, it is a problem.. its also an idea, trading with the colonies that can do such... though I wonder how some have developed opposed to us, different ways of refining energon or creating items." Starlock muses.
Optimus Prime nods, "There has been discussion on such things yes. So good to hear simular thoughts from a voice outside the bubble as it were. Once the spacebridge has been cleared. And we reorient supplies back and forth from earth, it would do us well to venture outwards to explore what else our new solar system has to offer."
Starlock nods. "I was talking to Dust Devil, and... uhh." She'd squint, trying to remember the other party that was there.. was it Solstice and Hot Rod? or was it Sideswipe? "...We where talking about trade routes from the natural cities, and friendly colonies, though Camius maybe out of there with energon, anything we'd be giving it to them instead for something else." Starlock muses in thought.
She'd snap her fingers. "Right it was Sideswipe and Solstice we where talking with, he urged me to put up about the Altihex refinery... Since I was the one that reported the con activity to Khamsin."
Optimus Prime hmmms, optics narrowing as he works through the various reports and briefings. "I'd have some hope that Altihex would have been able to clear their refinery if they had known Decepticon elements present. Especially after the assault and damage to their lab quadrent. Leaving the Decepticons present is not.. wise."
Optimus Prime chuckles, "Well you've seen my desk." he walks slowly onwards, "We help whom we can, starlock. But now we have the Decepticons pushing hard at us. they've built up kalis, they've mined the roadway to Nova Crunum and they've taken both the Hydrax and Ibex Spaceports. Things that affect not only the Autobots, but Cyebertron as a whole. Those Spaceports are needed for the neutral cities to have places to ship in and out their materials, and not just to be other places under our umbrella."
Starlock nods in agreement. "...Another reason I am frustrated with Hot Rod and sideswipe constantly getting into fights... stretches us thin further in both power and supplies, and knocks us down capable fighting for long periods of time." She'd huff in frustration before thinking.
"Think thats.. Why altihex also came up in conversation, since they have a spaceport... Taking back Ibex's should be more a priority.." She'd continue to muse in thought.
Optimus Prime hmm,s their slow walk looping them back into the hallway that has his office in it. "I'll see where we are concerning Altihex but as things are, Ibex is.. and Hydrax.. both are priority. And the trade routes." He stops at the door to his office as optics crinkle a bit, smiling under his mask, "It was good having a walkabout with you, Starlock. But.. the desk calls."
"...You as well.. hopefully, we get to talk more, later." Starlock says, a small smile appearing on her face plate with a nod. "Don't over do it." She adds in a typical medic fashion.
Optimus Prime chuckles, "I see ratchet is teaching you well." A nod and he steps back into his office.