Everything Must Be Perfect

Log Title: Everything Must Be Perfect

Characters: Cobra Commander, Destro, Duke, General Flagg, General Hawk, Scrap-Iron, Zarana

Location: Secure Silo - Cape Canaveral Space Force Station

Date: March 22, 2022

Summary: NASA is about to unveil their new spy satellite, and due to the Baroness's undercover work, Cobra knows the launch date and location! Will the Joes be able to keep the terrorist group from getting hands on technology that will vastly increase the reach and scale of Destro's MASS Device?

As logged by Destro - Tuesday, March 22, 2022, 1:14 PM

Great Hall - Donjon - Silent Castle[]

A wonder of medieval Transcarpathia, the Great Hall was completed in 1511 for Baron Georg von Stromberg. Its wooden roof is one of the most superb in Ukraine. Giant beams rest on stones carved with heads and symbols such as the lion of the Pfalz - a traditional badge of the von Stromberg Barony.

Grand banquets and state events took place in the Great Hall. The fortification, augmented in the 16th and 17th centuries, was modernised in the 18th century it under the supervision of Lemaire, a military engineer from France.

Restored to its medieval splendour, the Great Hall today displays weapons and armour that hint at its military past. Among the swords and shields are rogatina, the deadly Slavic hunting spears.

The Great Hall is in the very heart of the Castle in Crown Square.

Destro

Alexander Destro is no longer pretending to be or emulate his father, and it shows. Gone is the comparatively staid black Kevlar outfit once worn by James McCullen - in its place, Alexander wears a red leather bodysuit with leopard-print accents. His full-head helmet is gold, and when outside, his eyes are protected by fashion-forward purple sunglasses. Over his shoulders is the skin of an actual leopard worn as a cape, complete with paws and a tail.

A black belt secures a red leather thigh holster containing a gold-plated pistol. Knees and feet are protected by black leather pads and boots. The tips of his boots are also plated with gold. Around his neck, Alexander wears a large ruby on a gold chain, and his right forearm is armed with gold-plated wrist rockets. MARS’s profit director is large and in charge, and his attire certainly makes a statement.

At the Great Hall in the Silent Castle, Destro watches Scrap-Iron adjust the controls of the MASS device. While Destro claims he created it, what he means is his COMPANY designed and built it. While Destro inherited much of his father's presence and force of personality, he lacks James's formal training and gift with electronics. Nonetheless, Destro stands ready before the MASS device, fully clad in his red leather armor and leopard-skin cape. He is ready to pass along orders from Cobra Commander.

Standing nearby are Annihilator Guards watching the MASS itself, and a small team of infiltrators ready to be MASSported in as soon as Scrap-Iron is ready.

Elevator doors open, revealing Cobra Commander himself. He surveys the sight before him, another one of Cobra's plans about to be put into action. "Well well, Desstro. Everything had better be in order for tonight'ss operation." He approaches the display screen, and studies it, the target location visible in his reflective mask. "The Baronesss has done well in locating our new sspy ssatellite the Relay Sstar. Once that transsmitter comess through, our team of viperss will know exactly where to sstrike!" His hands curl in anticipation.

Destro turns to look at Cobra Commander, his expression unreadable behind his golden mask. After a long pause, he replies, "Correct, Commander. All is in readiness. We have the machine prepared - as soon as the last infiltrators arrive, we can send them to Florida immediately." Destro has really worked on toning down his Midland Valley accent - he's almost starting to sound like his father.

Cobra Commander admires some of the heavy vehicles and arms set aside for possible use on the assault. "Excellent, Destro. Even if the Joes are present on site, there's no way they'll be able to compete when HISS tanks suddenly appear in their midst. Imagine the looks on their faces, to suddenly realize they're walking into a trap!" He cackles lightly, and puts his hand on one of the tanks, "I'm sorely tempted to lead this assault in person, if I weren't so needed overseeing this operation."

Destro's face is masked, but Cobra Commander can hear the smile in his voice. "I ken what ye pure techt, Commander," he agrees. "Sometimes I miss going out with my crew with just a crowbar and a gin to teach some divit the need to show some respect, ye ken?" he laughs, a little of his original accent slipping in as he relaxes slightly with the commander. He smashes one massive gauntlet into the other. "We should go into the field together sometime and inspire some real terror."

The Commander muses, "After all the work we put into Broca Beach...why shouldn't we? Bring our full might forward, crush all those that oppose us in one swift motion." He turns towards Destro, then towards the world screen, "Soon, Destro..." He approaches the screen and holds out his hands, "Soon we'll crush the Joes beneath our heels once and for all." As an aside thought, he issues forth his order, "Get the infiltration team assembled and readied. We start within the hour."

Cobra Commander boards his personal HISS tank, and stands atop it like a colossus. "Within mere moments, the Relay Star shall be OURS!" He gestures with his snake staff towards Zarana, "Zarana. YOU will be focusing on locating the Relay Star and securing it with this transponder. Once it is activated, Destro will prepare to withdraw us and the Relay Star immediately." A Viper hands Zarana the key device, a blinking red circle.

Secure Silo - Cape Canaveral Space Force Station[]

This secure silo is the most heavily guarded place on the Space Force Station. No one can get in or out without multiple levels of biometric security. Inside, the silo is large enough to conceal a spaceplane - or, in this case, the massive Relay Star spy satellite. Aside from some heavy equipment to move the satellite tomorrow, the room is largely empty - even most of the guards aren't allowed to enter the facility.

"The usual. Some good, some great, some not so great. We'll get them whipped into shape." Hawk says, taking a sip of his coffee.

Quick Rep: Flagg, Hawk, and Duke are snacking on bagels while talking about what might happen with the Cobra trying to take these device. They are armed and ready for almost anything.

General Flagg stands as Hawk enters the room with his coffee and steals a bagel. "General Hawk," he says respectfully, only sitting back down when Hawk does. "I'm not sure what Cobra wants with this satellite, but it can do more than pass along communications, and it's more than a simple spy satellite as well," he replies vaguely. "If the Baroness chose this time to infiltrate NASA, I can almost guarantee this is the target," he says, gesturing to the Relay Star with his coffee.

There is a glow of energy, and Cobra operatives suddenly appear right in amidst the Joes, weapons drawn and ready for combat. "Zarana. Tag the Relay Star," Destro orders, and turns on the Joe leaders as they drink their coffee. "Don't mind us, gentlemen," Destro says. For those who haven't seen Destro in a few years, his accent has gotten heavier, and he's dressed much more... provocatively. "We'll just take what we want and leave."

General Hawk spits out his coffee as the Cobras suddenly appear in the room. "What in the HELL!?" he shouts, raising from his chair and pulling his sidearm. "Sound the alarm!"

Zarana looked different. A small vocoder was on her throat to give her a deeper voice, hair replaced by a carefully put on wig that gave it a greyer shade. Glasses up over nose. Wrinkles carefully smudged on using makeup. Her movements a little slower. Long labcoat on with a dangling ID chain showing that of a 'Technician Roberts' on it. 'His' voice smug and arrogant in the style of soemone trying to sound upper class Bostonian. The type of man that had big goals for his life, and had never quite gotten to them. So now instead of reaching for the stars as middle age would be past he would inflict his irritation on everyone around him.

Hidden underneath the labcoat and variuos prosthetics Zarana wore to complete her masquerade were a variety of weapons and transmission devices. And just as tricky was the adhesion and protection for the sensitive devices. The sensitive device given to her one that would have to be carefully put on; even in the midst o fhte melee and chaos.

Zarana had spent her time in uniform grousing about, smelling of stale coffee and constant irritability as if a regular amongst the crew working and monitring things, enough jargon memorized to not stand out of place.

Teleporting in with Destro, Zarana would give off a cocky grin and then move tos cramble along to the ground, hopefully using all of the chaos to manage to extricate 'himself' from the group to move to get to access for the satellite, in the midst of the engineers doing last minute prep and monitoring. Hopefully being able to dart away in the midst of the chaos of the teelport in tog o towards her mission goal. And of course three separate quick-change masks and outfits that could be wholly torn off if she had someone chasing her. The name of the game was escape and evade.

Duke calmly places his cup of coffee down and tosses a bagel in the direction of the Cobra operatives that appeared. Poor Zarana might be the target of an everything bagel. "That grinds my gears. I thought Starbucks charging that much was a crime but now they just pop in out of nowhere?" Conrad readies his weapons.

"Sorry, but the gift shop is closed. You're going to have to come back another day."

"Protect the Relay Star!" General Flagg yells, drawing his sidearm and running towards Destro. "I don't know how you got in here, but you won't be leaving," the old general swears, firing his pistol rapidly while closing the distance on Destro. Flagg may be old, but he apparently still has some fight in him. He moves quickly for a septuagenarian in a dress uniform. "I'm so glad you're here, General," he admits to Hawk.

>> General Flagg strikes Destro with Pistol <High>. <<

Destro staggers back a few steps as his leather and Kevlar armour absorb the bullets but not all the force. "You should have stayed out of it, Auld cheil," Destro replies, raising his arm and aiming a load of wrist missiles at the old general. "Today didn't have to be your day to die." Coldly, he fires several small rockets right at the center of General Flagg's chest before turning to see who's next.

>> Destro misses General Flagg with Rocket-Pistol <High>. <<

Who's next is Hawk. "Wrong place, wrong time, metal head, and you're checking out." he snarls, opening fire on Destro as he raises his missile arm. "Crawl back into your damn hole where you belong!"

>> General Hawk misses Destro with Pistol <Medium>. <<

The thrown bagel bounces off of 'Technician Roberts' who goes to grin and speak in a high pitched himbo accent, "You'll never get me alive, coppers!" Then she's going to bend down and move to run along! If at all possible trying to dart past the command room, and then from there to try and get to the more central areas of the base to try and get herslf some room to get on inside! She had to get it on the ship after all, and that meant she needed some room. She would race along if possible down yelling, voice back in the 'prim and proper' "WHAT IS GOING ON!? THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL US! RUN! RUN!" 'Technician Robert's' voice booming through the corridors, echoing along to make it somewhat harder hopefully to track where it was coming from to add more to the panic. And the horde of scrambling bodies likewise going for cover making it difficult if she was lucky for anyone pursuing her to keep up..

"Coppers? Only --" Duke grimaces, "Zarana's here. We need a lead on her." He watches as Hawk, Flagg, and Destro take shots at each other. Flagg seems to be the only good shot between them all. Conrad begins to chase after where Zarana went and tries to locat her. Unfortunately, she is probably a hard target to track given how many people are in the area. "Stop her! Stop 'er!" He shouts to the Greenshirts, MPs, and anyone who can potentially help with this.

GAME: General Flagg PASSES an INTELLIGENCE roll of Average difficulty.

General Flagg dodges to the side, hoping to God Destro's missiles don't hit someone important behind him. He falls to the ground, grunting in pain as he rolls. Firing from a prone position, he keeps the pressure on Destro. Destro may be tough, but against Flagg, Hawk, AND Duke? Surely, he has a better plan than this. Destro's never been stupid. But what's the angle? When Duke starts shouting, however, Flagg gets it. "They're here for the Star! Keep them away from the satellite!"

>> General Flagg strikes Destro with Pistol <Low>. <<

Destro dodges Hawk's pistol, only to be shot again by Flagg. "Dammit, Auld cheil. You're really doing my nut in. Don't make me kill you." Muttering into his mask's radio, he takes several long strides, and lashes a kick out at Flagg's exposed head. "... know you're... Get moving..." he says, and then twists to target Hawk next.

<<Cobra>> MARS Field Commander Destro says, "Zarana, they apparently know you're here. Get moving before you're discovered."

>> Destro misses General Flagg with Kick. <<

<<Cobra>> Zarana says, "On it"
<<Cobra>> Zarana says, "Put in yer audio filters in about thirty seconds"

General Hawk is already in motion, being a bit more spry, he's leapt into the air Bruce Lee style and has a foot aimed fight for Destro's solar plexus. "Duke, we'll handle this guy, protect the satellite at all costs!" he shouts.

>> General Hawk strikes Destro with Leap-Kick. <<

Okay, they're all after her now. Lost in the crowd, Zarana goes to dart along to the side and then goes to make quick change #1. Coat ripped off and twisted around, turning into executive style blouse. Bottom of labcoat torn off and smoothed down to a cheap looking skirt. Wig tugged off and prosthetics switched to give her a fading looking braid. Quick tug of separate mask down giving her a dark skinned appearance. Gloves rolled down and stockings to make the rest of her visible skin take on the same dark flesh tone. Now looking like a terrified secretary. A small little recording device taken out, and Zarana is darting over towards the nearest intercomm, a quick hotwire to hook up the recording device.. Then a wide shriek of pre-recorded gunfire playing out over it echoing from every single intercom that was on in the base.

~Chaos spreaddinnnggg farrr and wiiideee~ Then the -shriek- of high pitched static, nails on chalkboard about five seconds after.

GAME: Duke PASSES an INTELLIGENCE roll of Immense difficulty.

<<Cobra>> Head Snake Cobra Commander says, "Zarana. Where is that transmitter beacon!?"

<<Cobra>> Zarana says, "Running towards the satellite boss!"

Trying to track Zarana is definitely not an easy task! Fortunately for Duke, years of traning and experience are there for him. He tries to keep up as she weaves and changes her directions. Her tactics almost get the best of him. Finally, convinced he has her, Duke tosses office supplies at her. "Zarana, I know you're here! And I have you in my sights!" He quickly draws his gun at her. "We can do this easy or the hard way. Don't make me file the paperwork on having to ID you. After all, I heard Scarlett did a number on you."

>> Duke strikes Zarana with Throw. <<

General Flagg twists, avoiding Destro's kick. Glancing up, he sees Hawk leap-kick the arms dealer, and decides to let the younger, spryer general handle the muscle-bound Scotsman. Crawling painfully to his feet, he makes his way to the side of the Relay Star, shakily reloading his pistol. If anyone tries to get to the satellite, they're going to have to get through him. His dad died a hero in the Pit... James is prepared to do the same.

Destro OOFS as he's leap-kicked backwards, falling over a small worktable and onto the floor. Scottish curses foul enough the scar the concrete walls escape his mask, and he stares up at Hawk with pure hatred in his eyes. "No Dunediner in their right mind would dare attack me so. And yet you dare? I don't know who you think you are, Bampot, but you just signed your own death warrant." He aims one of his wrist-rockets up at Hawk and fires.

>> Destro strikes General Hawk with Rocket. <<

<<Cobra>> Head Snake Cobra Commander says, "Take it DOWN, Bludd!"
<<Cobra>> Head Snake Cobra Commander says, "I'm moving to the north side, to split its attention. Storm Shadow will be dispatching that Joe momentarily."
<<Cobra>> Head Snake Cobra Commander says, "Zarana, you're out of time. GET. IT. DONE."

General Hawk stumbles backwards as the missile explodes, but fortunately his kevlar blunts some of the damage. It's still enough to knock the wind out of him. He may not be a Scotsman, but he gets pissed all the same, with a flash in his eyes, he charges towards Destro. "If you won't leave voluntarily, then I guess I'll just have to throw you out!" he snarls, reaching for Destro to try to throw him into a nearby wall.

>> General Hawk misses Destro with Throw. <<

Ewww. She has old people on her. Zarana's not quite fast enough to evade the charging Duke, being picked up and flung through the air. Bouncing from Duke going to bonk her! Now with Flagg in front of her Zarana would quip, "Heard you were dead. Guess I heard wrong. But I hate being wrong!" Then she's moving to try and grab the man over by his too-starched military collar, moving to try and yank him by it to hurl him over at Duke. "Cleanup, isle twelve! Get that new hip replacement in old man!" Intent on trying to use the dreaded KUNG FU GRIP ACTION!

>> Zarana succeeds with her generic combat roll on General Flagg. <<
>> General Flagg rams Duke! <<

<<Cobra>> Major Bludd mutters, "...petite putain..." Then, louder: On it, Commander.

GAME: General Flagg PASSES an ENDURANCE roll of Average difficulty.

With Flagg flying straight at Duke, all Duke can do is try to catch him. "She's--" Oof! Flagg has taken Duke down. His gun is on the floor and probably closer to Zarana than himself. "Sir, I'm going to need you to get off me so we can..." He groans as he looks at Zarana, "Finish what needs to be done."

<<Cobra>> Zarana says, "Destro, gimmee some cover"
<<Cobra>> Zarana says, "If you can get me about thirty seconds I can do this."

General Flagg tries to stand his ground, but the old man is picked up and THROWN at Duke, colliding with him, and mostly bouncing off the mountain of muscle that is the Joe field commander and yet still landing on top of him. He does keep his pistol, at least. "Sorry," he mutters as Duke as he rolls onto his back, firing at Zarana from the ground. "You and that satellite aren't going anywhere!" he declares.
>> General Flagg misses Zarana with Pistol <Low>. <<

Destro twists as Hawk charges him, trying to use the general's own momentum to continue his charge into the wall that Hawk had intended for Alexander. "Ole'," he says sarcastically as he gives the general a shove, and then turns his attention to Duke. "I'll do what I can, Boot, but we haven't got all day. You have the ease job. Just tag the satellite so I can MASS us out of here." Obviously, counterintelligence isn't this Destro's forte.

>> Destro misses General Hawk with Blow. <<

General Hawk manages to keep his balance as Destro shoves him, and he manages to get himself stopped. Hawk for a fleeting moment considers an uppercut, but remembers he's rather fond of his knuckles. Instead, he charges forward to send a fist right into Destro's chest.

>> General Hawk strikes Destro with Blow. <<

Ordinarily Zarana would love to finish off an opponent while they were down. Duke doesn't have his gun. She could gut him like a fish. The shot from the old man zings past her, missing by inches, a testament that his age and time out of the field hasn't slowed down Flagg. Zarana goes to break into a full run, her hands going to take out the tracking beacon. Flipping down panels to pop down the adhesive clamps on it that would lock it into place when thrown. Panels pulled down to give her a clear place to grip on it and a solid hold. And she's running towards the satellite's nearest leg, moving to try and just brace it up and run past to slam it on, make sure it was secure..

With Flagg now off of him, Duke launches himself into the air and aims himself straight at Zarana. He takes off into a mad dash at her. "Zarana, stop! You're not doing this." He seems like he's angered. "They're trying to use the MASS? We need to stop them!" He exhales heavily as nears her. His fists are clenched and he attempts to make contact with her leg.

>> Duke misses Zarana with Smash. <<

<<Cobra>> Head Snake Cobra Commander mutters to himself that he should've sent the ninja.

General Flagg sees Zarana tag the Relay Star and realizes immediately what's happening. "No! Stop her! Kill her if you must!" Not fuckin' around, Flagg empties the last of his clip at Zarana, trying to stop her and hoping that Hawk can stop Destro. "If they get the Relay Star, there will be no place on Earth their teleporter can't reach!" Thank you, General Exposition. Information that might have been useful YESTERDAY!

>> General Flagg strikes Zarana with Pistol <High>. <<

Destro staggers and chokes as Hawk's fist SLAMs into his chest, right in the medallion! He coughs and pulls back his fist to strike back... but then sees Zarana apply the chip, and realizes that if they hurry, they've won. Activating his mask radio, he quickly calls in to Scrap-Iron. << Transmitter in place. Cuir fòn thugainn dhachaigh. >> Moments later, both Destro and Zarana start to glow....

<<Cobra>> Zarana says, "Tag you're It!"
<<Cobra>> MARS Field Commander Destro says, "Transmitter in place. Cuir fòn thugainn dhachaigh."
<<Cobra>> Major Bludd says, "En anglais, s'il vous plait?"

General Hawk grits his teeth as they begin to glow, and Hawk does his best to do a flying leap to catch Destro, but ends up sailing through where he was standing, slamming face first into the floor.

Zarana leaps up, drops it on and lands, yelling, "GOOOAAAALLL" like the proper football hooligan she is. Right in time to barely avoid Duke smashing into her and the shot from Flagg to hit her over reinforced kevlar plates that prevent the worst of the shot. Then Zarana is hitting the ground, arms pulled up underneath her as she would let them attest her drop, cackling madly. "Tag you're it!" Spoken over in a lunatic fashion to something not there at all. Vanishing into air along with the rest.

<<Cobra>> MARS Field Commander Destro says, "Mission success. Scrap-Iron is transporting us back, with the Relay Star."

Duke catches himself in time to prevent himself from running into nothing. "That's not---" He kicks a chair. "We were prepared. We were ready for this. We had the best of us here. We had me, Flagg... and Hawk!" He exhales from his nostrils and tries to catch his breath now. "Please tell me we can shut that satellite down remotely. Like a killswitch." He grumbles, "How did we screw this up so badly?"

<<Cobra>> Major Bludd says, "Acknowledged."

General Flagg shakes his head. "My own hubris. I thought this place impenetrable. I read the reports on this... what did they call it? A 'MASS'ing out og here? But I didn't fully consider the implications. I couldn't believe they could just waltz in here and steal a 40,000-pound satellite. But that's what they did." He shakes his head again. "Maybe it is time to retire after all." He climbs painfully to his feet.

The glow fades, and Destro, Zarana, and the Relay Star are just gone.

Great Hall - Donjon - Silent Castle[]

A wonder of medieval Transcarpathia, the Great Hall was completed in 1511 for Baron Georg von Stromberg. Its wooden roof is one of the most superb in Ukraine. Giant beams rest on stones carved with heads and symbols such as the lion of the Pfalz - a traditional badge of the von Stromberg Barony.

Grand banquets and state events took place in the Great Hall. The fortification, augmented in the 16th and 17th centuries, was modernised in the 18th century it under the supervision of Lemaire, a military engineer from France.

Restored to its medieval splendour, the Great Hall today displays weapons and armour that hint at its military past. Among the swords and shields are rogatina, the deadly Slavic hunting spears.

The Great Hall is in the very heart of the Castle in Crown Square.

Destro and Zarana re-materialise in the Baroness's Silent Castle. Destro turns immediately to Scrap-Iron. "The satellite?" he asks.

"Safely aboard the Solar Serpent," Scrap-Iron reports.

"Perfect," Destro replies.

"Of course. You know I accept nothing less," Scrap-Iron reminds him.

Zarana would arrive and wince, coughing up some blood from the various blows she had taken from Duke and the bruising from the shots she had taken from Flagg, "So, we win?" She would grin madly. "Guess they're not going to kill me yet!" Looking over the countryside along the estate.

Destro calls for a medic, and then turns to Zarana. "You did well. You fight like you're from the neighborhuid. Where did you grow up?" he asks with interest. He's moving carefully, like he's in pain - maybe even with cracked ribs. Yet, he takes time to shoot the shit with Zarana. He wirelessly orders some replacement wrist rockets.

Zarana would just look over at Destro for a moment, "Which one of 'em are you?" Faintly aware that 'Destro' was a title, if not the particulars. "And I'm from the Bayou. You sound like a $##*'ing baby face. How old you under there?"

Destro chuckles. "Alexander," he answers. He reaches up to remove his helmet, revealing the face of a handsome black Scotsman. "An' Ah'm older than Ah swatch, althoogh Ah hink Ah'll aye seem yoong tae those fa ken mah auld cheil," he chuckles. The more he relaxes around Zarana, the more he slips into his original, Midland Valley accent.

Zarana isn't phased by this at all. "Got it. So how's the missus doing?" Up in the air as to whether seh meant the traditional Madame of the ancient castle Destro or the freaky librarian with the glasses. "So you let your hair down kid and.." She would think a moment. "Probably want to have those looked at." Pointing at the rather significant (to her) injuries he had. "Get yourself patched up and whenever the Commander comes in delegate a flunky to talk to him so you can get a brace on." Wait, was Zarana being.. Kind?

Destro laughs deeply. "At th' moment, Ah hae nae mistress but ambition," he grins. "Althoogh 'at coods change," he adds with a wink. He reaches up and touches his bald, dark head. "Ah hae nae hair tae lit doon, but Ah gie yer meanin'." He smiles. "Gab later? Ah'll be sure tae lit th' commander ken ye waur crucial tae th' mission's success." With a final grin, he re-dons his helmet, and heads to the infirmary.