Uh... okay -
RP rated PG-13 for strong language.
A voiceover that sounds like Keifer Sutherland says:
"Previously on 'Transformers...' - Spike just got his ass handed to him and Ted just literally ran off with his shoes, jeans and shirt - hoping to sell them for a bar tab."
Located near an abandoned warehouse, Trees Lounge is where people who have hit bottom go when they've crashed through to another bottom few can fathom. Rarely packed, Trees Lounge has a steady stream of patrons beginning at 1:00 p.m. when the bar opens. Its regulars consist of an unsavory bunch of lowlifes, deadbeats, heifers, heehaws, hollihoos and scullywags. It has become a favorite destination of Shattered Glass inhibitant Spike Witwicky, who routinely spends any available hours and funds hitting on any woman in the bar and getting in fights with some of the more hardened regulars.
Ted looks at Deadline and says "Feel free to come back, I'm sure your friend will be here, but in the meantime, take this trash the FUCK OUTTA HERE!" He yells at Spike "Don't harass my goddamn regulars!"
Ted frowns "I don't care how fuckin' good you think the song is!"
Eddie watches this spectacle with quiet amusement. Incidentally, with Spike's arm exposed, everyone can see the tattoo of the heart with 'EDDIE' written in it. (Comedy gold,) he thinks to himself. "C'mon, Spike, let's go take a walk." Before he departs the bar, he leaves a nice tip in his place.
Ted nods sagely to Eddie. He looks at Spike. "See yah tomorrow."
Spike Witwicky barefoot, clad only in his BVD's, takes his dazed body, and wallet, and keys outside.
Spike Witwicky looks around for a road far less traveled. He looks at Deadline and chuckles. "This is like one of those dreams where you're in public and you forgot all your clothes!"
Spike Witwicky flinches as he steps on a few pieces of gravel. "Ow! fuckin' Ted..."
"You oughta be glad he doesn't keep a shotgun behind the bar. A lotta tenders do," Eddie points out.
Spike Witwicky shrugs and keeps walking. "So...those kids...you miss 'em?"
Spike Witwicky frowns and says "I got one pair of pants and a t-shirt, so I'm gonna need to either stop by a church or a homeless shelter after we get back to the warehouse."
"Sometimes I miss them, sure," Eddie says. "Problem is, when I go see them, their momma always wants me to stay." He spots a thrift store. "Hey, how about that place??"
Spike Witwicky looks at the Thrift Store and shakes his head in panic. "NO! Let's go home first! If I go in there pantless and shirtless..." He looks at Eddie "Someone may call the cops on us."
"Mmkay. Damn, one would think if y'went in there practically naked, they'd feel more sorry for you," Eddie remarks with a shrug.
Spike Witwicky shakes his head. "Don't want to take that chance."
"Yeah, I hear you. Well, we're almost there. You'll be fine, so long as y'don't run into any lonely ex-felons in the alley," Eddie grins.
Spike Witwicky continues to walk. As he walks a bit ahead of Deadline, some faint scars - looking very much like belt marks with a few holes can be viewed.
Spike Witwicky shoots a look at Eddie. "That's not funny, don't even joke about that!"
Eddie chuckles quietly, still feeling pretty good from his last fix. "As if I'd let anyone do that. Y'think I would? I'm carrying a big-ass gun."
Spike Witwicky looks at Eddie and says sagely "Well...from what I gather, it looks like you're in a war with your ex-wife. What 'I'd do...if you see those kids, just splurge on them. Buy them whatever they want. For the most part, kids are dumb and they're cheap. They don't care who pays the power or the rent because they assume that shit's for free. What they KNOW isn't free is the newest XBox or Playstation. THAT's where you come in - leave the mom to buy that other shit. And when they're with you, let them do ANYTHING - that'll make mom look like a tyrant - and as a result, the kids will totally side with you."
Spike Witwicky makes a fist. "I don't need a gun..."
Spike Witwicky finishes, "In FACT, the fact that you're not around is even better. The kids will keep imagining what a better life they would have with you! And kid's imaginations are almost always better than their realities."
Eddie seems surprised by the fatherly advice. He ponders it. "NICE. I like it," he finally says. "An' she'll end up bein' the bitch. Y'know, that's...that's pretty close to bein' brilliant, right there," he admits reluctantly.
Spike Witwicky nodnods. "I know! Daniel HATES Carly . And I'm pretty sure he loves me - I made sure he NEVER went without a toy or something he wanted to eat. I didn't have time for that discipline fighting shit - not after Carly wanted to separate." He grins "Just remember, kids don't care who pays for power, clothes or food. They just want toys and whatever else other kids are eating or playin' with. And that shit's cheap when you consider you're gettin' their love in return.""
"You'll teach me how t'be domesticated yet!" Eddie laughs. "Cause...I can handle that. I can handle takin' the kids out to do cool things, like shoplift an' steal cars. SKILLS that they can USE in life. An' what's best is never gettin' nagged about it!"
Spike Witwicky adds "And the BEST part! You have to go on a mission, so you can enjoy the kids, but when they start gettin' out of control, that's what your wife's for!"
"Fuck yeah! Fill 'em full of sugar, an' ship 'em back to the bitch!" Eddie crows, pumping a fist of victory into the air. "We need to write a book about this shit. We'd be rich!"
Spike Witwicky nods, eyes widening. "THAT's my next goal! I'm going to write a book."
He adds "Heyah.. did you hear that song? That 'My cock is much bigger than yours'?" He shakes his head in disbelief. "My god, I can't believe they could say that! I gotta pick up that CD" (warning to Deadline, it would mean that CD blaring with that track on repeat until Spike tires of it, which would be about as likely as Spike tiring of 'Demolition Man')
Spike Witwicky sees the Warehouse in view and takes a breath. "*whew* - Finally..."
"You still playin' ...That System of a Down shit?"
Spike Witwicky looks at Deadline. "You think that 'cock' song is from the same guys who wrote that 'Push the weaker out' song?" He shakes his head "If that's true, they're the best band...ever."
"Sounds like the same band, dude." Eddie shakes his head. "Y'know, I'm not sure Ebs is gonna like me havin' kids, but we'll see."
Spike Witwicky bites his lips and looks down on the ground. "Well, she's madly in love with you, I know that!"
Spike Witwicky walks up to the warehouse and starts dusting off and removing the bits of rock and mud from his feet.
Eddie grins. "Awesome." Suddenly he glances back behind him, down the alley. "Uh oh. Let's get a move-on..."
Spike Witwicky looks at Deadline, "Oh, I put $300 in your room, it's in an envelope. I didn't want to disrupt anything in there. Just put it to my tab."
Spike Witwicky looks behind his shoulder. "Oh fuck..."
Down the alley, a cop car has stopped, and an officer shines his light in Spike and Eddie's direction as they make a break for the warehouse. "I think he didn't see us," Eddie gasps as he slams the door behind them.
Spike Witwicky walks in, drunken, dazed - he just got the beatdown of all beatdowns from a bartender because he was bothering regulars and he hadn't paid his tab (hence the bartender taking his shirt, jeans and shoes). Spike Witwicky runs past Lifeline and Lowdown , pointing to both of them "DON'T FUCKIN' LOOK AT ME!" and with that, he sprints upstairs to his corner to don some clothes.
Like an unber paranoid pothead, Spike Witwicky peers through one of the broken windows outside, trying to spot the cop car, hoping it will drive away. "Oh shit...oh shit..." he mutters.
"Shut up and put some clothes on, already," Eddie says with a smirk, scuffing past the cell area and then flopping down on the couch to spread out on it.
Spike Witwicky puts on some pants, shirt and shoes. He looks outside, whimpering "fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck...please drive by...please drive by..."
"He's fuckin' gone, you pussy. I can't believe you sometimes," Eddie says, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.
Spike Witwicky buries his face in his hands. "Oh thank god..."
Lowdown looks to Temera , as the two pass by, "This happen often around here?"
- <OOC> Spike pages Deadline with 'Woah... Heayh, I think you're being inconsistent in your RP. One-on-one, you're super nice to me, but in a group, you seem to ridicule me...'
Spike looks at Lowdown and says "Button it, smartmouth."
Deadline lounges on the sofa, and smirks.
Suddenly, there's a loud knock at the door. "Hello?? HELLO??" <bang bang bang>
In the cell, Edwin stares at the door hopefully, then blinks and looks at Lowdown. It isn't a recognizable voice, but it's a voice of authority -- perhaps a ticket out of this mess!
Spike Witwicky 's eyes down in utter terror. "No! No!" he whimpers.
Spike Witwicky looks around for an exit. He gets up and walks around, thinking of the best exit point. "Fuck...no - Oh god..."
Spike Witwicky looks at Deadline. "I'm sorry! It's all my fault, if he didn't see me in my BVD's, he would have went away. I'm sorry! Oh shit...I'm sorry!" he pleads cowardly.
Lowdown looks over at Edwin, wondering if these guys would bother to shoot them /before/ being arrested. After all, a timely shout for help would ruin everything right now.
Spike Witwicky looks at Lowdown and immediately recognizes what they're going to do. He shakes his head adamantly. He walks over and whispers, "You so much as make a peep...I'll put a slug in ALL of your heads. And I won't be punished, because I know where the portal is to the other world!"
Eddie sighs, then gets up and heads over to the door. He glances back behind him, flicks off the lights (plunging the place into an inky darkness). "Just shut up and chill out. I'll deal with this," he whispers. He cracks open the door. "Mmmhh? Whatcha want?"
"I'm Officer Salvano of the Seattle Police Department -- I thought I saw some vagrants coming into this place..."
"Nah, it's just me. Salvation Army was closed, dude. Please don't arrest me." Eddie pouts and feigns sleepiness.
Spike Witwicky finds a chair and sits down, trying very hard to look like everything's cool.
Spike Witwicky bites his bottom lip dumbly and looks over at Temera.
"Hmmm..." Officer Salvano tries to peer into the warehouse with his flashlight -- and briefly, the illuminated beam swings near Spike, and then Temera, before Eddie blocks it with his body in the door frame. "This is private property, you shouldn't be in here. Mind if I search your satchel?"
(FFfffffuuuuuuuuuuu --!!!!!) "Yeah, I guess," Eddie says glumly, handing over his satchel reluctantly.
SG-Temera blinks over towards Eddie, frowning just a little bit at that and raising her eyebrows.
Lowdown finally opens his eyes, able to see very clearly in the darkness. Unfortunately, Spike's already moved away from the bars. Wouldn't have been hard to grab him and smash his head against the cell wall. Unfortunately, as a hostage, he doesn't appear to be much of a bargaining chip. One-shot meat shield at best.
Spike Witwicky tries to smile at Temera. A nice bit of perspiration starts to form under his arms, his neck, his forehead.
Spike Witwicky knows not to chew his nails now or look like he's hyperventilating, so he's opting to do the exact opposite - sit deathly still. He looks over and tries to give a husbandly grin to Temera.
SG-Temera almost laughs at the sight, smiling sweetly back at Spike.
Spike Witwicky smiles at Temera and says "Love you."
Lowdown just roles his eyes. If not for concern over Lifeline and Raven, he'd absolutely give the situation away and take his chances. But he can't let them get hurt.
"Hmm. You been to rehab?" Salvano asks Eddie.
"Yeah, a couple times. Went off the methadone when I lost my last job," Eddie says, playing the pity card as he sizes up the situation. In a purposeful movement, he very slowly steps out of the warehouse, so the officer can't see what's going on in there. The door begins to slide closed to a crack. The voices outside soften to murmurs, mostly from the officer. Then, the officer sounds like he's reading something aloud, as if from a card.
Spike Witwicky digs in his nose and looks at Temera. He whimpers "What do we do? Shoot the cop? Deadline didn't give me a gun..."
Maybe Temera can eat the cop.
Lowdown briefly toys with the idea of asking Spike to get him a gun. He'll shoot the cop. Spike hasn't proben to be terribly intelligent just yet.
SG-Temera smirks softly as she sees the others, raising her eyebrows. "Don't... know..."
Spike Witwicky buries his face in his hands. "This is SO unfair..." He tries to look outside, muttering "C'moooonnnnn, Deadline."
Spike Witwicky scratches his head, then rubs his eyes, then scratches the inside of his nose, then cleans the inner part of his ear. He's fidget city right now.
SG-Temera makes a little face at Spike, and slips back from him slightly.
Outside, Eddie's standing passively, though he's watching the cop's movements very carefully. It's very quiet out there....
And then suddenly, it isn't. Sounds of a desperate scuffle can be heard, echoing in the alleyway.
Spike Witwicky gets up, panicking. "I gotta help him!"
SG-Temera nods just a little. "I.. will.. help.. assss.. well.." She smirks, and heads for the door as well.
Spike Witwicky looks at Lowdown and frowns. "Don't say NOTHIN'!" With that, he bursts out the door, circling the cop and Eddie. "Tell me what do to, buddy!"
Lowdown calls after Spike, "Hey, man, what could I possibly say? 'Hostage situation'?" He couldn't resist.
Eddie's got the cop down on the ground. "I need this guy unconscious, but not dead," he says, pistol-whipping the struggling Salvano. "Once he's out, we need him in the driver's seat of his vehicle."
Spike Witwicky nods and tries to kick officer Salvano's head like Charlie Brown kicking a football.
<THUNK!!> Officer Salvano looks toward the warehouse door when he hears 'hostage situation' -- and is very shortly after knocked unconscious by Spike.
"Nice concussion," Eddie laughs. "Now put him behind the wheel. We're not killin' him -- he's gonna kill himself." Eddie searches around until he finds an old cinderblock.
Spike Witwicky nods and tries to drag Officer Salvano's body into the car. He's able to hoist up the officer's arms and drag him a few inches. He looks at Temera and gasps. "A little help?!"
SG-Temera nods quickly and moves to help Spike.
It wasn't pretty, but Temera and Spike put officer Salvano's body back to the wheel, already looking VERY suspect. Gravel and dust marks on the officer's back and body. Shirt most likely untucked.
Once the pair's got Salvano in the patrol car, Eddie switches off the frantic-sounding radio, starts the engine, flips on the lights and siren -- then drops the cinderblock on the gas pedal, puts the car into 'D', and quickly slams the door, watching Salvano's patrol car blast quickly away toward a local road. "Sayonara, douchebag."
Lowdown spends the time looking around the immediate area. Somebody had to have left something lying within arms reach. A paper clip, a pen... hell, knowing Spike, maybe even a gun.
Spike Witwicky looks up and wipes his neck. He breathes out. "Wow! Thank god THAT's over!"
Some distance out of the alleyway, there's the sound of a terrible crash, followed by an explosion and screaming.
Eddie yawns. "Thanks, guys..." He lights up a cigarette, as he listens to the wailing sirens approach the crash scene.
Spike Witwicky grins and walks, struts back in. He looks at Raven, Lowdown and Lifeline and extends his middle finger, pointing to all of them. "Fuck You" (Raven) "Fuck You" (Lifeline) and "Fuuuuuck yoooou!" (Lowdown). With that, he goes upstairs to destress.
SG-Temera snickers just a little at Spike's reaction to the prisoners.