Log Title: Can I Admit Something to You?
Angel
Location: Brig - The Pit
Date: May 26, 2017
Summary: Angel opens up to Lowdown in the brig.
As logged by Brigadier Rook - Friday, May 26, 2017, 10:56 PM
Brig - The Pit[]
- The Pit's brig is built like a vault, with dense metal walls and a thick door with complicated, multiple-layer security locks. Everything that happens in the brig can be monitored outside, giving any captives zero privacy while held by the Joes. The brig contains a cot, a sink, and a toilet, as well as several cameras behind protective cages. It's not comfortable, but it is secure. When someone is in the brig, there are always at least two guards outside at all times, and everything inside the brig is recorded constantly.
Angel and Lowdown are talking in the brig.
Angel nods sadly in agreement, even as he keeps sketching. It's a landscape of some sort, a forest in winter. Frusenland, perhaps. There's a campfire in the center of the drawing. "I know. I don't what he wanted me to feel... but I don't want Jayson hurt. I know that much." He closes his eyes. "...Can I... admit something to you?" he asks, timidly.
Lowdown tilts his head slightly, and leans forward, "Of course." He actually means it.
Angel swallows, psyching himself up to say his next words. It was hard, because he was admitting weakness and that went against everything drilled into him. "I get scared at night. Or, dark." he says quietly. "I feel... terribly alone. Like..." his voice cracks and he forces himself to not stop, because if he stops he won't ever finish. "Like I'm a little boy and my parents are gone away." He's trembling. "And I want so bad to call for my father but I know I shouldn't because then he'll make nightmares get worse-" His eyes are squeezed shut.
Lowdown has never been terribly good at helping people through emotional issues. A good portion of his military career has depended on suppressing his own. As such, he's not really certain how to react to this confession. He gives it his best shot, though. "Well... you know you still have family here. And although you might not be able to see him yet, it's good that you're working toward it. You've made a lot of progress since we got you here, and in very short time. Once we get your head sorted out..." He hesitates, not wanting to make a promise he can't keep, so he chooses his words carefully, "Well, maybe we can talk about you joining a new family."
The words don't seem to soothe Angel very much. He's still shaking, and he wraps his arms around himself, tucking his hands into his armpits. He mumbles something about needing his father, but it's not very coherent. He seems scared of something, though. "Don't let him find me..."
Lowdown makes a judgement call and ignores the sign that says, "DO NOT TOUCH PRISONERS." He stands up from the stool and crosses the distance, squatting down and placing a hand on Angel's shoulder. It's firm, but gentle, as is his voice. "It's okay. He won't find you here."
The gentle touch shocks Angel out of whatever mental torment he was going though. His eyes fly open, wide and terrified looking. He gasps for air as if waking from a nightmare. "L-Lowdown..." he mumbles "Friend." He's reassuring himself of what he knows. His pulse is racing. "D-don't leave me alone... I'm scared."
Lowdown reacts quickly, standing up and taking a step back. Angel's reaction was sudden and unexpected. Fortunately, he's got a lot of control over his own emotions and he doesn't slip into a fighting stance. He keeps his voice even, "I can't promise that I can stay here with you, Angel, but I'll stick around as long as I can. And I'll make sure someone else can stop by to keep you company if I can."
Lowdown moves back to the stool, "But in the meantime, I've got nothing else going on."
Angel rocks a bit, breathing heavily, trying to calm himself down. He shakes his head, as if trying to wake up. With shaking hands, he flips over the sketch of a campsite, and starts drawing again. He's drawing the Brainwave Scanner.
Lowdown takes a few moments to consider his next question, watching Angel draw the things that haunt him. Finally, he asks with an even expression, "Do you remember... why you joined Cobra?"
Angel's hand stills on the page, and he frowns with concentration, thinking hard. "I... No. I don't." he says finally, stilted. "I don't remember not being with Cobra." he elaborates.
Lowdown suppresses a frown, nodding slowly instead, "Maybe it's better that way. If you don't know why you joined them, you've got no reason to go back to them."
Angel shudders. "I'm not going back!" he practically shouts, standing up and backing away in sudden fear, before blinking and shaking his head, plopping down on his cot. "Sorry. You won't make me. Right? Safe..."
Lowdown shakes his head, trying to look and sound as reassuring as possible, "I have no intentions of letting you go back, Angel."
Note the choice of the word 'letting.'
Angel almost absentmindedly grabs the pillow off his cot, hugging it to his chest in a childlike manner. "Don't let them take me. Please. I'd rather die!"
Lowdown shakes his head, remaining where he is, "We're not going to let them take you, either, Angel. You're safe here."
The blond ex-Cobra nods, still hugging the pillow fiercely. He takes a shuddering breath, squeezing his eyes shut - to hide tears, perhaps. "Safe. Safe..." he mumbles to himself. Trying to reconvince himself of the fact.
Lowdown stands up with a sympathetic sigh (or maybe driven by aging joints that have seen far too much abuse.) "That's right, Angel. You're safe here. I gotta head out, but Jenkins will be by to keep you company. I'll see about getting you some music."
Angel manages a smile. "...Thank you. I don't care what you get me... I can't remember what I like, anyway." He waves a bit, rather than salute. "Goodnight, Lowdown."