Transformers Universe MUX

Log Title: 80s Christmas - Autobot POV

Characters: Baroness, BATs, Sergeant Blizzard, Buster, Chainclaw, Cliffjumper, Cobra Commander, Cover Girl, Destro, Dust Devil, Gigawatt, Hawk, Hound, Lady Jaye, Judy, Polly, Roadblock, Ron, Shipwreck, Sparkplug, Spike, Starlock, Vipers

Location: Earth

Date: December 24, 1988/December 24, 2020

TP: Flashback TP

Summary: A traveler from the future warns of dire danger!

As logged by 80s-Buster - Wednesday, December 23, 2020, 6:09 PM

Autobot City - Earth - 1988

Autobot City is the home base and primary headquarters of the Autobots on Earth. Built by Grapple and Wheeljack in 1986, Autobot City is located near Lookout Mountain, in the Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee tri-state area.

Ron Witwicky

80s-era Ron and Judy drive their 1978 El Camino outside Autobot City, bringing Buster. Ron an Judy are having a well-deserved holiday getaway planned in Colorado. It will give time for Buster to reacquaint himself with his dad and brother.

80s-Cliffjumper is currently going to set up over a rocket launcher, slowly swiveling it around. He has it aimed over at Lookout Mountain, "Look out. You're getting just what you deserve." The small red Mini-Bot has a gun bigger than he is braced on his shoulder.

Ron takes Buster's overnight bag, and backpack, and a sack filled with presents to unwrap at Christmas. He does have a tinge of regret though. Seventh grade has sort of sucked for Buster. He looks at Buster. "Who knows...maybe this'll take your mind off of school?"

80s-Spike stands by the ramp, waiting for Buster. Like a good older brother. He's eager to show Buster all of the cool things around Autobot City. It certainly isn't the Ark. It's like an Autobot City!

'Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through Autobot City
Not a creature was stirring - not even a kitty!
Except for the Autobots congregating in Sickbay
Where Bots like to hang out - they just won't go away!
Buster was bored, looking quite cross
Christmas stuck with the Autobots? What a complete loss!

Buster practically growls, "It's fine." His tone is chillier than the Oregonian December weather.

The rocket is up.. And it flies off! It goes to strike along the edge of Lookout Mountain, detonating over in a cascade of fireworks and.. Wlel, not much actually.


Judy...ever the empath for her special little guy gives Buster a hug, and then slips her their hotel number. "You call if you have any problems, OK?"

Starlock in her punk-rock skater get up, is skating through autobot city on her bright neon colored-energy wheels over to get a peek at the humans coming aboard as she peeks around from the door entrance at Spike's back.

Judy then jumps a foot at the sound of Cliffjumper shattering a portion of a mountain. "Really?!" She angles her head and looks over and yells "HEYAH!! ROBOT! YOU DO KNOW THAT THAT IS A FEDERALLY PRESERVED LAND! THAT BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAIN TOOK MILLIONS OF YEARS TO FORM, BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR LITTLE TARGET PRACTICE!" She shakes her head in disgust.

80s-Hound facepalms, listening to Judy and eying the attempted damage at the mountain. "She has a point, Cliffjumper... Maybe focus on.... sounds and lights, less on actual disintrigration?" The scout eyes whether there's any trees that need rescuing or something...

80s-Cliffjumper would glare at Judy, "I was here before it was! I got here first. And it had it coming! Snotty thing." Then he would raise his brow in alarm, "Wait! You're not familiar!" He would stalk over. "Now give me a reason right now Decepticreep? I know EVERYONE here!"

80s-Buster rolls his eyes. "Oh, Jesus," he breathes. "This is why I hate the Autobots," he says, loud enough for Cliffjumper to hear.

80s-Spike shakes his head and smirks, that Cliffjumper. Always something. He goes over to his little brother and claps his shoulder...HARD. He grins and says aloud "Heyah Bro! Good to see you!" He leans in and his voice lowers, muttering lowly "Heyah...we're guests here...remember that..."

Starlock comes a bit more out of hiding, the voltswagon kombi/shuttle gives an awkward smile. "you get used to their antics after a while." She'd chuckle weakly as she pushed up her thick round glasses.

80s-Spike looks over at Hound and grins. "Heyah! You know Buster!" He waves to Starlock. " Buster. He's my brother. And this is Uncle Ron and Aunt Judy. They're watching Buster right now, but I'm guessing Buster'll be moving in here soon." He looks at Cliffjumper, quizzically. "You've never met my brother, have you?"

Ron raises his hand and says "Pleased to meetcha" to both Cliffjumper and Starlock.

Judy nods curtly. "It's certainly...bigger than the Ark..."

80s-Buster sighs dramatically and crosses his arms over his Purple Fungus T-shirt and jean jacket.

There's a trio of lightning strikes that herald the sudden arrival of the DMC DeLorean that skids to a halt along the ground just outside of Autobot City. The steel gray vehicle skids to a halt as blue lightning is peeled off of it during the vehicle's braking process. It curves and drifts before picking up speed and rushing towards one of the big black, ramp leading into the City of Autobots.

Just in case anybody's paying attention to scanners or monitors or looking out, INCOMING VEHICLE!

The vehicle itself almost seems to be screaming upon its arrival from nowhere, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

80s-Cliffjumper would snap his head over to Spike, "Since when did you have a brother!? You can't just have a brother come out of nowhere!" He's about to turn over as there's suddenly an oncoming car. "Ahhh!" Then he's gonig to immediately whip up the rocket launcher, "AHHHH!"

80s-Hound has brought another box with him, again full of presents that are... well, he tried to wrap them nicely. It takes some practice he doesn't have. The earthly smell suggests that they are yet again ....plants. Such a surprise, right? He offers one to Spike, smiling. "I think this is the tradition, right? Giving gifts?" Though he does stop to listen, then watch as a car comes screeching up towards them, stepping out of the way if needed.

80s-Buster is roused out of his doldrums by the sudden arrival of the uninvited guest. "Well, that's pretty cool," the teenager allows. "I guess."

Judy cries out and ducks next to the El Camino.

Ron yells out "Jesus!" He looks over at the vehicle. "Holy crap!"

Starlock has a datapad in her hand in front of her and she comes out to be a bit more visible and gives half-bow. "Pleasure~ I am, what I believe translates into your language, Medical officer, Starlock of Harmonex." She smiles as she brings herself upright once more. "Likely to find me under Ratchets feet." She'd chuckle, pushing those thick dread-like wires from her face.

She pauses and blinks at the screaming and quickly ushers for everyone to move out of the way in this silent panick as she glares down at the incoming speeder.

80s-Spike looks over at the gift Hound got him. He THINKS he knows what it is. "Aw, thanks Hound!" But before he can even examine the wrapping, he sees the vehicle. The super-sonic blast kickstarts his heart. "The hell?!"

It's only been a few minutes, but between Cliffjumper's 'boom'-inducing target practice, and the sonic boom of the new arrival, Judy has had her fill of the Autobots already. She looks at Ron. "Honey...the airport, we're going to be late..." Judy gives Buster one more hug. "Merry Christmas honey. I'm sorry. We'll make it up to you. New Years Eve, you can invite every friend you have over."

"Great," Buster scowls. "I'll call both of them."

Ron gives Buster a sad look. He gently pats his shoulder. "It'll get better, trust me..." He and Judy then get into the El Camino and pull out, trying to make up lost time so they can get to the airport and a restful holiday away from a 13-year-old, I mean...with the happily married couple.

The DeLorean does its best to NOT hit anything that seems to be sentient but there's a lot going on. Skidding and sliding to make sure it doesn't crash, it slams on its own brakes until it comes to a flat spin and eventually stops. And expulsion of smoke pours from the huge exhaust on the back of the vehicle. The rest of it crackles from the thin layer of ice that covers the entire thing.

"... Ugh. Whoa." comes from the vehicle in the next moment. "That re-entry's still bumpy."

"Seriously, can ya'll not go a day without embarrassing us." Starlock sighs to herself, pitching her nose bridge, before she jogs out to meet up with the stranger. "Oi! you alright there Dude?!" she calls.

"I hope you like it," Hound says, "It's a plant!" He grins, then falters. "Or wait..." Blink. "...Is that supposed to be a secret or not?" These human customs get confusing sometimes, but he tries to get them right!

Looking over at the DeLorean, he asks, "You alright over there?"

Fortunately for the recently arrived Mech of Mystery, Cliffjumper is holding the rocket launcher backwards. So when the rocket fires out.. It would go towards Lookout Mountain! Impacting the top of it and blasting it off as the cliff face would tumble.


80s-Spike frowns, even getting annoyed. "Cliffjumper?! That's a national treasure! Don't go blasting our landscape!"

80s-Buster jumps at the second explosion. "Jesus, Spike! Is it always like this? I thought you just got kidnapped by Soundwave or whatever."

80s-Spike looks over at the DeLorean with concern. Good lord, that's an entry. He looks back at Hound and grins bigly. "It's awesome, Hound, Thank you!" He shakes his head, "It's supposed to be a surprise, but the thought is what counts!" 80s-Spike looks at Buster and scoffs slightly. "No, Buster. This place leaves us plenty protected. You gotta see what Grapple an' Hoist have done to the interior. It's like a real-life city!"

Starlock gives Cliffjumper a flat look, and turns to look at Hound. "Can i sedate him?" She asks in reference to cliff as she keeps an eye on the new comer.

"Cliffjumper!" Hound exclaims as the smaller 'Bot ignores what he was saying earlier and goes back to *destroying* the mountain, the monument, and the TREES! Now he moves to intercept CJ, trying to take the weapon away from the 'bot. "I said STOP! You can't go around destroying another people's special, sacred places, not to mention the forest itself!" He does glance back at Spike, though, "Sorry, Spike! I'll... I'll let you open the wrapping, then, since I guess it's still a surprise what *kind* of plant, right?"

Now back to Starlock. "Hi there," he manages, leaning towards her, voice lowering to a stage whisper. "If you have to... Yes."

80s-Spike shakes his head, rolling with the punches. He carefully unwraps the gift Hound wrapped. He looks over at Hound and shakes his head, marveling. "Wow...this took some serious skill! Nice wrapping!" He carefully removes the paper to see what plant he got.

Ron and Judy's El Camino's vehicle disappear from view. Have a fun few days, Buster!

80s-Buster HUFFS in a manner that would make Blast Off proud. He wishes someone would invent an affordable cell phone so he could check messages and pointedly ignore the other Autobots.

80s-Cliffjumper has his weapon out and is going to charge over towards the oncoming unknown, "YOU! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!" His voice carrying, "You came out of nowhere in a flash of light! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, SKYWARP!"

Thank Einstein the rocket isn't headed in the direction of the DeLorean because in the next moment it twists, twirls and transforms into its own heavy breathing Autobot state!

"Great Scott!" It takes him a moment to shake off some of the ice but he shivers through it and almost immediately pays attention to those closest to him. "I'm fine. But the world's not gonna' be if we don't do something. Now." The Autobot looks up with worried optics to explain himself but keeps his hands up where everyone can see them. Just in case of CLIFFJUMPER.

"You don't know me yet but my name is Gigawatt. I'm from the Future." He even looks like he knows how this sounds but he's saying it anyway. "And if we don't stop Santa Claus, tonight, then there's not going to be a future for me to go back to."


KRA-KOOM! Great Scott! It's GIGAWATT!

Starlock smirks at Hound and gets her tranq-gun out, before Gigawott gets her attention. "...Gods damnit, what have I told ya'll about freaking time travel!" Starlock shouts, throwing her hands up. She then pauses and squints. "Wait.. what?" She asks.

80s-Spike winces slightly. He was hoping to show Buster how incredibly cool the Autobots were, but things aren't getting off to a good start with a Santa Claus reference.

Backwards facing rocket launcher still in hand, somehow Cliffjumper has scrambled up and has the rocket launcher (still facing backwards) while he's somehow attempting to thuggishly hold over onto DeLorean, "From the future? I know your game, Skywarp! First it's pushing Astotrain down the stairs, now it's coming back in time so you can push ME down the stairs! I'm on to you!"

North Pole - Earth - 1988



At the North Pole, the everpresent night soothes away the struggles of the day, and the light snowfall tinkles down to the planet in the purifying way that only snow can.

Nothing was stirring.

HISS Tanks


Cobra Vipers, dressed up in red and green insulated outfits, stand at attention. Secondary prepartion vehicles wheel about behind the facade of a small workshop at the top of the world.

And there he is, the Scrooge Scourge, the Bad Santa himself, Cobra Commander, escorted by several of his Vipers.

Cobra Commander wears over his pressed and inspection ready uniform, a bulbous Santa costume, complete with red santa hat over his helmet, and fake beard. "Holiday Vipers. See to it that this Santa's shop is ready and able. I want it jolly and full of Christmas cheer."

Holiday Viper #3 nods as others start setting up a hot chocolate bar nearby. "Yes, Cobr..." A hand goes up to interrupt him, "SANTA"

A humph, and after a beat "Alright, fine just Cobra Commander."

"Cobra Commander, yes sir."

The Santa-wannabee slashes his hand across and forward, his palm open as he directs his troops, "Handle the V-3 Rockets with care....for in hopes that WORLD DOMINATION soon will be" He coughs.

Several DETONATOR vehicles, with their candy-striped rockets are loaded into place. Suddenly the Commander points at one of his crew, "YOU! REPORT, VIPER!" The Holiday Viper approaches, unnerved, but salutes the mercurial Commander, "Holday Viper #69 reporting sir!" Cobra Commander manages a snicker, "Nice. YOU'RE OUT OF UNIFORM!"

"SIR! I'm wearing green and red, as requested, Sir!"

There's a few moments pause. Cobra Commander lifts up both his mailed hands, "LIIIAAARR!!!" He bashes both hands into the hot chocolate bar, spilling holiday cheer all over the place, his suit included. "You're wearing RED and GREEN, I DISTINCTLY SAID GREEN AND RED! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FESTIVE!"

He gestures to the Viper, "Take him away! There'll be no turkey dinner for you!" The Commander surveys the scene, as his other vipers begin to replace the hot chocolate bar with the emergency backup hot chocolate bar. Cobra Commander mutters to himself, "Its a shame too, because I'm really looking forward to that turkey dinner....Starving already."

A group of B.A.T.s, all wearing blue and gold uniforms with a windup key in the back, start Christmas goose stepping down one of the transport planes.

"Once Cobra takes over Christmas, all the world's children will beg their parents to join COBRA!"



Destro flies in on his Dispoiler, which has been decked out in sleigh bells for the occasion. "Once again, Commander, you let your emotions overrule your good judgement. With my Christmas Dominator, we will control children all over the world. They will become our miniature army that no one - Autobot or G.I. Joe - will dare face in combat. The planet will be ours! Patience, Commander. Patience," Destro lectures in his deep Scottish baritone.

Destro is wearing a gold mask and a black Kevlar and leather outfit, complete with a crimson ascot and cape. Golden spikes on his left shoulder match his gold belt and ceremonial sword.

80s-Baroness is currently over in a large tank with the cupola open. "Now zhen, remember. Vee shall take ze elves hostage! Zee reindeer shall be used for games! If zey dew not cooperate zhey weel be made into sausage! Remember, merry Cobra-Mas to all, now zhey are all going to die!" Going to point dramatically over forwards.

Buster has on a jean coat over his T-shirt and is riding along with the Autobots on their journey north. "This is bull," he says, which is about as foul-mouthed as the 13-year-old gets. "I can't believe we're following this guy. Evil Santa? Are you kidding me? Are we going to fight the Easter bunny in the spring?" he asks sarcastically. If only he knew about the arrival of Cyclonus in 1997...

Having little clue who Santa Claus is, along the way to the North Pole, Cliffjumper has done research. Worldwide spy network enforcing behavioral protocols. Black Friday. Christmas Music. Breaking and entering into every home on the planet in a single night. Tracked by NORAD each year. Christmas -specials-. HALLMARK MOVIES. There's only one conclusion.

"Santa Claus is just as big an evil as Megatron. TODAY THE FAT MAN GOES DOWN!"


What Spike gets looks like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree, actually, minus the baubles. It has that same humble look, but when you really begin to look at it in detail, one might notice the pretty blue-green sheen on the pine needles, the bright green of the top tips of the branches... it's actually a pretty little thing, lovingly, if in-experiencedly, wrapped.

Cliffjumper again seems to join ignore Hound, but hopefully the scout got CJ's gun put away, or someone did.Now on to ...Gigawatt. Hound blinks, looking at Spike for confirmation as he asks, "....Santa Claus? I-I thought he was a good guy?" Spike, help me out here.

NOW: Hound is still confused, and still looking at Spike like- did I misunderstand something?

80s-Spike isn't dressed for arctic weather - things happened pretty quickly, but that's the way is with the Autobots! You gotta be on their toes! But don't worry, they'll save the day! Going into big brother mode, Spike says "I'm sure they have a good reason to investigate, I mean...I know it's not SANTA CLAUS,'s like a code for some sort of Decepticon fortress?" He looks at Hound, grateful that the beautiful tree is back where it's well protected. He shrugs, hoping Hound can provide some insight. 80s-Spike looks at Buster and says "Just stay close to me and stay out of trouble."

Starlock is following along in her kombi-mode, keeping more to the back, she is a medic after all, she's equally as confused. "Soo lemme get this straight." She chimes. "Evil santa, the guy in red thats ment to bring gifts to kids?"

Gigawatt arrives with the collection of Autobots and he almost looks like he wishes he was wrong. The North Pole is supposed to be sacred and now this kind of tomfoolery? Totally not something he wants to let happen. "If my calculations are correct..." Gigawatt seems to be scanning the horizon. "When we reach 88 Clicks to the North?" Gigawatt turns to the others and almost smirks. "We're gonna' see some serious scrap."


At the Pit, suddenly festivities are interrupted by a beep from the monitoring console. SFC Blizzard comes on-screen. "Sorry to interrupt your revelries," he says immediately, with a touch of scorn. "But we're picking up some seriously weird signals from the North Pole. Definitely some unusual activity there, and if you're all not too soused on mulled wine, I'd suggest you check it out. Sending coordinates now. Sergeant Blizzard out."'

Shipwreck grins at Lady Jaye and raises one playful eyebrow. "Well, you are a knockout, darlin', so it only seems appropriate."

"Squawk! Knock out!" Polly agrees.

"That's what I said, bird. Now pipe down, or I'll leave you on an ice flow when we return."

Polly shuts up abruptly, but his beady narrowed eye suggests he's just waiting to interrupt again.

Soon Shipwreck is on his way to the North Pole with the other Joes, hitching a ride on a Snow Cat as soon as they're put down. He stands up on his seat, the cold wind blowing his red cap in a flutter. "Hold up. Those are Christmas Detonators! We're dealing with some serious firepower, of the Cobra variety!" Shipwreck glances down at Frostbite. "Pull me alongside one of them! I'll take it out - maybe use it against Cobra!"

Polly hunkers down, not built for Arctic weather. "Awk! Cobra!" he says with a shiver.

80s-Lady Jaye would shiver, from something other than the ice. "We can't let them take over the North Pole! With it under Cobra control, then there would be no stopping them from making an army big enough to take over the world! Imagine what sorts of horrible weapons they'll be able to get from there!" Going to get one of her javelins up, "Imagine if they go to take it as a big Slay Ride!" She's would nod over at Shipwreck, "Count me in!" Going to set the Javelin over on 'BAT Buster'.

80s-Cover Girl peers from the back of her own vehicle, frowning as she sees everything going on. "Well crap..."

80s-Roadblock is riding shotgun on another SnowCat, machine gun slung and ready to play. "What in the aich-ee double hockey sticks.. You call that a turkey? You interrupted supper for.. Oh yeah, now I'm irritated. Lets clear this up, maybe there'll be dessert left when we get back."

"What? GI JOE? HERE?" Cobra Commander steps forward, his tremendous stuffed belly listing to one side, "COBRA RETR--erhm..ATTACK!" Cobra Commander makes a zealous gesture with his candy striped cane, crackling with the power of the yuletide. "Let them come. With Destro in his Despoiler, and Baroness and her traps, I've just settled in..." Cobra Commander brandishes his sidearm, "TO GO BUST A CAP! Though GI JOE comes in like they were cattle, I'll open my storm shelters and show you the other half of the battle!"

On his command, hoards of Viper troops approach, guns blazing, rockets flying, ninjas armed with festive ribbons, hovering Rats with guns a blazing, Trouble Bubbles that look like ornaments!

"FORWARD MY VIPERS! On Astro, and Gyro, and bring in the B.A.T.s! On Hydros, On Ice Snakes, on Alley Cats! From the top of the world, to this Commander's frozen b.." He coughs suddenly, "Attack away, attack away, slay them all!"

The Commander gestures to Cliffjumper, Hound and Starlock, with a hiss, "TRANSFORMER! Nothing beats the transformer, they're robots! READY THE WRAPPING PAPER!" Mortar fire elects giant wide ribbons of tensile strength wrapping paper up into the air, maybe entangling the Cybertronians. Cobra Commander cackles, "All wrapped up with a little bow...PRESENTS......FOR ME! AHAHAAAAAAAHAAAA!" Cobra Commander reaches into his bag of goodies as he rushes forward, "Lets see what Santa Cobra has for you Joes......" He withdraws a flamethrower, spewing fire everywhere, "I LOVE THE SMELL OF JOES ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE! AHAHAAAAHAAA!"

80s-Baroness says, "Yew are tew late Joes! Vee hve already seized zee North Pole! Now Cobra welcomes you.. TO DIEEEE!" Then she goes to hold up a hand over and gestures, "Sonic BATS, prepare ZEE ZONGS!" A group of BATS, wearing RED and GREED and over on skiis, would start to rise up and salute. And then a one and a two..


And finally coming out a group of BATS with large beards, bandoilers over their shoulders, and dual wielding gatling guns..

RATTA RATTA RATTA. What horrid musical medley of murder!"

Elf-Vipers in Winter Operational Light Fighting Vehicles explode out of specially made igloos, heading to intercept the incoming interlopers. "Someone is on Santa's naughty list!" Elf-Viper 819 yells, opening fire with not-very-accurate red lasers. "SANNNTA!" he yells, full of enthusiasm if not skill as several more WOLFs burst out of similar igloos and race towards the unwanted visitors.

As soon as the intruders are spotted, Destro sighs. "G.I. Joe," he says with resignation. "Right on schedule. Meddling fools," he mutters. He guns his Despoiler, making the sleighbells jingle. Taking to the sky, Destro aims his airsled at the incoming Joes and opens fire, with somewhat more accurate red lasers than the WOLFs.

Buster shivers in his jeans coat. Pressing his face against the glass, he asks, "Is that... Cobra? The terrorists? What are they doing on the North Pole?" He glances at Spike. "I thought you guys just fought Decepticons. You handle terrorists, too? Christmas-themed terrorists?" Buster's mouth hangs open as if he can't quite grok what he's seeing. This is NOT how he imagined his Christmas in Autobot City. He flinches at incoming... wrapping paper?

80s-Cliffjumper is running forwards, weapon in hand, "We're ON to you! We're going to stop Christmas.. FOREVER! WE'RE TAKING IT DOWN!" Someone has gotten the wrong lesson. On the other hand, someone HAS worked retail.. Glass Gun up and over, then Cliffjump is swarmed over by WOLFS! Battered by BATS! Having his frame mauled by evil mecha-CATS! Then he's.. Pushed over a CLIFF! And he's knocked on down. The cliff.. Goes in for it's revenge.

The cliff shudders.. Shudders.. And FALLS! Collapsing atop Cliffjumer. There will be no more jumping over it. NOT THIS DAY!


80s-Spike huddles next to Buster against the glass, freezing himself. He looks at the chaos before him, eyes widen. He can make out the BATS, the HISS and looks on ... drawing the only conclusion he can. 80s-Spike shakes his head and frowns, saying softly "No...Megatron's behind this...I know it."

Starlock looks confused at the Cobra attackers. "What thee actual fuc--" Before she can finish her sentence, she yelps as she's blinded by wrapping paper! Thaats enough to make her come to a halt, and transform into her robot mode, and draw her dual blades, slashing away at the paper into ribbons, and she glares. "...That was so uncool of you." she says dryly to the cobra agents. "Who taught ya'll fashion design! look like something out of a bad--" wait there's a kid in the area, SHIT!

MORE HUMANS! This is great! Hound smiles at all the humans running around, then frowns a bit as he realizes some of these are Cobras. Oh, those are the BAD humans, aren't they? He looks to Buster, giving a firm nod. "We're here to protect the Earth and it's inhabitants from those who would do innocents harm, whatever their species." He steps in front of the humans that came with them protectively, trying to draw fire away from Spike and Buster if possible. And trying not to facepalm again at Cliffjumper, though he does ask, "...<< Are you alright? >>"

He also calls out to the Joes, "These guys don't look like they understand the meaning of Christmas! Autobots are here, do you need assistance?"

"This is heavy."

Gigawatt spots the insanity that is the BATTLEFIELD and it seems like he gears up pretty quickly. And he steps up to meet the SANTA FORCES of EVIL and... almost immediately stops in his tracks. In fact, his optics narrow as it looks like he's looking past the COBRA FORCES at something behind them. "Wait, wait..." Gigawatt lowers his weapons. "What the hell is that?!"

Gigawatt suddenly raises a hand to point behind the nearest COBRA forces to see if he can't distract them long enough with the oldest trick in the book... and then LIGHTNING WHIP them!

80s-Roadblock rides on that SnowCat like a pro, locking an dloading his machine gun. The big one. And as Cobra erupts from snow hills and peaks, igloos and the sky, he gives a shake of his head, "This ain't even right. First you ruin my supper, an' now you're tryin' to ruin Christmas? Not gonna happen." He heaves the gun around, standing, "One of -the- most important cookin' holidays of the year? Messin' with my fried turkey? My crawdad stew? My -biscuits?!" Opening fire on the Sonic bats, "Time to change the channel."

As the GI JOES would heroically go forwards, Lady Jaye looks over the terrain, "I have an idea!" Going to get out one of her Ice-Javelins, she would go to throw it at the ground where it would make a giant snowball! Then she would go to start running to kick it. It's not budging! She can't get it to start rolling! She's not able to exert enough force over on it!

"I need additional leverage to move it or it will be here till the Tundra thaws!" If.. Only she had something long and hard and meant for helping to LEVER things and move them when they were too heavy for direct pressure! Putting her back over into it, pressing hard. "We're going to send you back to the ICE AGE Cobra!" Dramatically going to keep shoving.. But it wasn't moving! SNOW NO!

Leaving Polly back in the Snow Cat with Frostbite, Shipwreck whips his boarding rope in the air before tossing it at a Christmas Detonator. He pulls it taught, then leaps from the Snow Cat onto the Detonator, punching out the Holiday-Viper driving it and dumping the festively dressed Cobra into the snow. With his red cap flopping in the breeze, Shipwreck commandeers the Detonator and brings it around to aim its giant ICBM at Santa's Workshop. "Ho ho ho," Shipwreck chuckles. "Now I have a ballistic missile."

80s-Cover Girl grumbles just a little bit as she goes forward and shakes her head. Seeing the Despoiler, well, she decides it needs to get it out of the air, and starts targetting it. "Lets see if I can ring that thing's bells and drop it from the air."

80s-Cobra Commander DOES sound an awful lot like Starscream to Spike at least. Flames spew out about him, melting some of the ice. He looks back accusatory to his Vipers, and points at Starlock. "That was SUPPOSED to be reinforced with nanocables!" One of the Vipers gives a weak shrug as he launches more into the air, eliciting a frustrated growl from Cobra Commander, "Not to worry. I've got plenty of coal in my sack!" The flamethrower spent, the Commander tosses the weapon aside, and draws out a RPG! He fumbles with the books, "What? What the h.." He coughs again, then draws out what he really wanted, a rocket-propelled grenade launcher. Laser fire streaks past him in both directions, "Aahhh!" Part of Cobra Commander's beard singes as Gigawatt's lightning whip just about takes his head off. He lands belly first in the snow, struggling to right himself like some sort of turtle. The frosting RPG goes off towards Gigawatt, potentially able to cover the Cybertronian with tons of aerosol tree frosting. Oh Cobra Commander, think of the Hydroflourocarbons!

He rights himself, unslinging his staff as Roadblock blows up a snowsled. "I'll have you know, MY turkey dinner puts yours to shame, Joe!" Cobra Commander clears the ground, the padding of his suit slides down, nearly causing him to trip as its left in his wake, "I'll shove this coal so far up your a.." he coughs again, "You'll be coughing up diamonds!" A DETONATOR explodes in the distance, as several off-duty Vipers just chill at the backup hot chocolate bar, and sip from their mugs wistfully.

And gesturing from her tank, The Baroness goes, "Now, my pretties.. KEEL ZHEM VEETH COBRAAA!" And the line of BATS goes to unload things heinous from the holidays! LEFTOVER PINE NEEDLES! BUBBLE WRAP! And perhaps worst of all..

Scattered and broken christmas lights and LEGO BLOCKS scattering around the landscape! Making it into a No Mech's Land for any that would try and walk.. Or drive.. Through!

The bullets are flying, the body count's rising, and oh Santa whyy.. He's such a cruel guy. The Autobots then have another barrage of among the most dangerous projectiles possible launched at them. SAFETY STANDARDS AND PRODUCT TESTING MANUALS!

>**BOOM!**< As Destro flies overhead like some large predatory bird, raining red lasers down on the Joes, he suddenly receives a short, sharp lesson in gravity and inertia. Cover Girl's missiles blast his Despoiler out of the sky, and suddenly Destro is on a whole world of pain as he tumbles face-first from his airskiff. Dragging himself up, he wipes snow off his gold helmet and whips his red cape back over his shoulder. Looking over, Destro realizes Cobra Commander continues going in spite of his near-beheading. CAN I DO LESS?

Shipwreck's commandeered DETONATOR turns and drives as he aims it, but suddenly the vehicle powers down as the Jolly Vipers run from him, "Batteries not included! Psych!"

Buster hops out and runs for cover, not waiting to get captured like Spike does all the time. Wishing he was wearing more than straight-leg jeans and Converse sneakers beneath his coat, Buster hugs himself against the cold and moves to hide behind a jagged upcropping. He looks towards where Cliffjumper encountered his nemesis. "Should we help him?" he asks with some uncharacteristic concern.

Slowly going to crawl out of his Cliff-Crevice, CLIFFJUMPER looks in the distance at the North Pole Workshop. Which in his mindscape is a citadel of darkness built on enforced elf labor. "No Santa. Not today." He's going to crawl along to drag out a huge looking laser rifle on a tripod, aiming it up in the air to line up his weapon at it (despite being at a lower elevation and him pointing the weapon downward). "We're going to bring you down to Earth, Santa! Never did want to live forever! No matter how many cliffs you throw at me, Cliffjumper is gonna get up and keep on rolling!" Slowly and painfully rolling his weapon up and over as Buster would be watching at him. "You'll REAP THE WHIRLWIND because you're SURPLUS TO REQUIREMENTS YOU EVIL ELF!" Firmly loading up a huge rocket to the launcher. "Now I'm gonna give you and your fortress the worst case of indigestion you've ever had! Ho Ho you $##! $##!" paraphrasing the name of a character known for obesity in the Austin Powers movies for the thin of heart.

Unfortunately, said rocket is STILL pointed backwards.. And aimed towards a priceless, pristine and never touched polar bear and penguin preserve!

80s-Spike 's eyes widen with concern as he sees his little brother hop out and run for cover - out in the open (or at least near a jagged upcropping). "BUSTER!" He runs, trudging through the punishing snow with his jeans as well as his Adidas sneakers. He frowns, chastizing his brother. "I don't have tools or anything! Just don't be a target!" - he's saying that like he's been told that...a lot of times.

Gigawatt catches all of that frosting and ends up stumbling backwards and away from the foes he was trying to take down. "So this situation just got sticky." Gigawatt backs off a bit further to see if he can't take a second to peel himself out of this gross sugary mess. And maybe cover some of the more human shaped heroes trying to fight for good! If he can be in the way of attacks upon them, so be it. He can take it!

Starlock frowns, not knowing how much these jokers know about the autobots, so she takes the opportunity to spring a surprise on them as she starts skating her way towards Gigawatt, leaving a trail of neon purple behind, she takes launches herself off a ice-ramp, and transforms into her shuttle mode! and lets loose a spray of phaser fire to help cover Gigawatt!

80s-Hound remains standing in front of the Spike and Buster, trying to shield them from harm. He looks around and... Hmmm, what can he do without actually harming humans, even Cobras? HMMM.

Suddenly, the forst itself seems to stir, slowly coming to life as ....are those trees alive and moving? With branches for arms, waving in the air as they slowly march towards the Cobras who are attacking. They even have Christmas lights, lookit that. Blinking with cheery color, the ent-mas trees scrabble and branch out at the nefarious villains, looking afright! Maybe this will distract them while Gigawatt does his thing.

Oh that's just not right! "My turkey brings ALL THE JOES TO THE YARD!" yells Roadblock, stepping off of the poor Snowcat that's just taken the brunt of a retaliatory strike. He hits the ground, tuck'n'roll and comes up a snow-covered mass of man. He reaches into a pocket of his parka, takes aim and lobs.. well it looks like a snowball but in fact its a rounded mound of pecan divinity! "Awww, I was saving that for the trip back!" Shaking his head, he checks his M-2 and fires off a burst of unfriendly lead (known to cause cancer in the state of california!) at those BATs once more! "Time for a new show tune!"

Still struggling over with the huge snow-boulder she had made, Lady Jaye would keep on shoving at it. "Come on! Come on! If we don't save the season, then it wil lbe like SNOW has frozen over!" Going to try and keep on pressing over at it. It's just SNOW fair! She's going to work over at it, going to then get out one of her long, hard..

GI JOE ARCTIC ACTION SKIIS (get from your GI JOE Arctic Action Expedition Playset On Sale Now!)! Moving to push it in. "Come on! Come on! Let's make sure everything is pretty.. ICE!"

If Lady Jaye's dramatic heroics manage to send the boulder buckling, turn to page 81! If not, go to page 97.

Shipwreck bails from his dead Detonator. "Have to get Tripwire to make sure these missiles are disarmed," he notes to himself, gathering up his boarding line and waiting for the next Cobra vehicle to pass. Spotting a Christmas WOLF skiing by, Shipwreck ropes it and jumps aboard. The vehicle's canopy prevents him from punching out the Elf-Viper driving it, so Shipwreck decides to go after bigger fish. Quickly disabling the explosive on one of the WOLF's ski torpedoes, Shipwreck hops aboard, physically aims it, and fires it - riding it straight for the Baroness! "Ahoy!" he yells, announcing his imminent arrival and trying to distract her from the others.

80s-Cobra Commander shrieks, "Buzz Boars, stay out of.." Bloop. Three BUZZ BOARs break through the crust and into the water below. 'nevermind." Moments later, their pilots emerge at the edge of the ice. "Where are my NOG VIPERS?" Cobra Commander shrieks again, and coughs, "I really could use a lozenge." Two of the lightly-creme colored Vipers run past him away from the combat as the trees decend upon them all, "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned Christmas WAR!" More troopers start to flee the battlefiend, "No, no. We're WINNING! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the shoot, shoot, shootiest Christmas since Bing Crosby gunned down Danny Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of Vipers this side of the nuthouse." He gestures to the front lines, "NOW SHOOT!" Almost immediately afterwards gets a mask full of Roadblock's pecan dessert! It smears off of his face thanks to all the rustproofing, but it catches in that beard, adding to the hot chocolate, soot, dirt, blood that adorns his stained costume "Desssstro! Baronesssssssssss...w..whait..." He struggles with his helmet, "mah frozen to mah massss.......ack I...Bleah!" He pants, "Sstall them, The Christmas Dominator must be spread across the world!"

Cobra Commander beats feet up behind the cottage near Shipwreck, then throws a tarp off of his hidden weapon, a rocket powered sleigh! The battered Commander leaps into it, grabs the reigns and pauses....he looks down at the controls.



"ITS A ***STICK***!"

"WHY DID YOU BUFFOONS DESIGN IT WITH A STICKSHIFT?" Despite himself, he gets the sleigh powered up, it lurches forward with the Christmas Dominator (looking like an aluminum Christmas tree in the back) up into the air, " SO LONG...SSSSSUCKERS!"

And then Shipwreck is going to pop up under the missile-toe! The Baroness would gasp, "Destro! Make theese slow UNHAND me!" She would affirm, suddenly showing weakness now hat someone was in close proximity over to her and just going to slap over at him wildly! Even as her troops would still go on the offensive!

A series of automated tanks would go forwards, having BATS wearing festive gear and adorable little spiked army helmets. The Joes and Autobos are now being faced with among the most dangerous things of the holidays.

FRUITCAKE CANNONS AND STALE GINGERBEARD SHRAPNEL. The cannons would aim.. Twist.. And then fire!

Merry Christmas you Filthy Animals!

80s-Cover Girl swears as another vehicle pops up. looking at the tanks and BATs and frowning. She shakexs her head, and assists the joes and bots,by launching serveral missiles down at the BAT mess.

80s-Destro starts to pick hismelf off the ground, only to find himself staring at... a massive incoming snowball? "Cousin?" he asks plaintively, before being struck by the ever-growing snowball. He winds up careening down a hill, his limbs sticking out in all directions as the snowball gets larger and larger...

Cliffjumper sees the chaos and carnage over that had been inflicted upon the pristine and picture perfect animal sanctuary. "Meh. Global warming would've done it anyways." Going to ris eup again, Cliffjumper would come to a realization. He.. Couldn't see high enough to shoot it. "CRABAPPLES!" So Cliffjumper was then going to call out, "Starlock! Come on, we gotta destroy the North Pole so Christmas can be ruined forever! It's done too much to be allowed to go on any longer!" Revving his engine, the huge, ridiculously oversized gun now on his 'hood' as he would transform. Once again attempting to aim a giant rocket with a skull painted on various sides of it and radioactive/biohazard symbols at Santa's Workshop.

80s-Spike continues to huddle in for safety. Now, his fingers are turning numb. Still, through the chaos, he swore he heard something he couldn't believe.

Starlock rolls her optics at Cliffjumper as she does a barrel roll in the air, as the tiny spacer blitz's her way to Cliffjumper, well, least she could say she weaponized stupid! "We're going to have a /long/ talk after this cliff! Also, that's not the real Santa!" Starlock shouts, before transforming back into her Robot mode about mid-way into her dive.

80s-Spike says, "You can't drive a stick? Are you serious?! What kinda supervillain are you?!""

Buster is both relieved and concerned as Cliffjumper reveals he's OK and launches a vendetta against Christmas. I mean, Buster isn't that much of a Christmas guy... but destroying the North Pole DOES seem like an extreme way to handle things. Wishing he hadn't left his fingerless gloves at home, he stuffs his freezing hands in jean coat pockets and glances at his brother, agog. "Did you just taunt the most dangerous man in the world?"

Gigawatt has returned to action, still frosting'd but less so. As he pops back up in the middle of this battle, his Mr. Fusion Arm Cannon has been armed and it looks like he's taking quick potshots at the other side from a bit of a distance. What's coming out of cannon with the speed of ballistic viciousness?

Stale Christmas Cookies.

Time to fight fire with fire? Or uh... Christmas with Christmas?

80s-Spike shrugs innocently enough to Buster, not thinking taunting a psychotic and powerful terrorist is that big of a deal.

80s-Hound's hologram Christmas trees seem to drive off a few Vipers, at least. Hound continues trying to shield the humans and now- he's being bombarded by... fruitcakes? The scout blinks, plucking a now somewhat-squashed fruitcake from his grill. "Uh... thanks?"

Shipwreck smirks at the Baroness and says, "Avast, ye Cobra! Normally, I'd never hit a lady - but you're no lady!" With that, Shipwreck winds up one of his large, tattooed Popeye arms and lashes out a huge haymaker, attempting to punch the Baroness right out of her ChHISSmas tank. He'll deal with Destro later - apparently, Destro's busy doing an impression of Frosty the Snowman anyway.

TURN TO PAGE 81! Lady Jaye manages to send the giant snow boulder rolling down! Where it would roll, roll, roll down! Right over towards the front yard where the Reindeers played their games! It would pick up snow, snow, and go! And also random BATS, Tanks, and other Cobra-Conym based weapons as it would go towards a long, long roll!

Lady Jaye would punch her fist up into the air, "YOOO JOEEE!"

To see how the battle continues, Turn to Page 17!

80s-Roadblock reaches into another pocket, snags himself a snickerdoodle and takes a moment to munch while reloading, "Oh hey, fruitcake!" Any southern boy who's ever lived knows about fruitcake. Claxton Georgia. These things are given down from generation to generation. (probably the same cake just kept as a doorstop during the rest of the year and dusted off). He bends, scoops a few up and starts to throw the nominally baked goods in return. "This ones for you! And you! And you've been especially naughty! Ho ho Ha!"

B.A.T.s explode, troopers go down, the hot chocolate bar didn't get refilled! The cookies have gone stale, but a few Vipers eat it, in one form or another. Its PANDEMONIUM! Christmas shrapnel trees pop up from the artic cold and spin at high speeds, throwing ornaments at Joe and Viper alike! A few bounce off of Cliffjumper and Starlock, but I mean, its glass and aluminum. Come on!

Cobra Commander whips about the turbine sleigh as he rockets up into the sky, "PATHETIC FOOLS! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" Cobra Commander's cackling lasts into the night sky.


Cobra Commander sighs wistfully, "Finally, its all coming together."

There's the sound of sleigh bells, and then the whinny of an animal. Cobra Commander turns his head, wearing that ratted beard, the stained suit, and a look of shock crosses his masked face.


His sleigh butts up against something, and then again. Cobra Commander loses his balance, and falls backwards out of the sleigh!

"WHAAAAA WITH MY LAST BREATH, I CURSE MINDBENDER!" He plummets down down DOWN...right into the massive snowball Lady Jaye made, right next to Destro.

" couldn't have been..." Cobra Commander laments.

And then faintly on the wind, a boisterous tone could be heard...


And Shipwreck is laying it down hard over into the Baroness! She would hold up her hand to stop him, "Aiieeee! Stop!" She would go to reach a hand up and over behind her face. Going to pull down a rubber mask to reveal the face of.. LADY JAYE!? Even as she would hit the ground. "Quick, we have to stop them! This is only a prelude to Cobra's Master Plan!" Going to yank at his hand!

Meanwhile, Shipwreck is no doubt shocked over as Lady Jaye goes to look at him aghast, "Oh, come now.." Then she would go to take out a large Cobra-Taser, going to blast him, "There are plenty of feesh in the sea. NOw you weel sweem with zee fishies! Prepare heem for zee concrete booties!" Going to peel off her mask once more! Pulling off the latex face of Lady Jaye to reveal the face of THE BARONESS, COBRA'S SINISTER DISGUISE EXPERT! Who had.. Disguised herself as Lady Jaye disguised as the Baroness!

A lump of coal lands on Cobra Commander's head moments later. "Oof! Oww!"

Destro pulls himself out of the snow, and looks up to see... could it be? No, it couldn't.... As the snow wisps away any clear sighting or lasting proof, Destro climbs to his feet and tries to recover his cape and his dignity. "Commander," he says resignedly. "Would you care to do the honours?" He prepares for faux-Santa to sound the retreat because once again, they've been beaten... this time, by the real thing?

80s-Cobra Commander sighs, coal now added to his list of stains and issues, "...cobra retreat."

And then there he is. THe real deal. The fat man. The bearded one. "I'M TAKING YOU DOWN!" And then Cliffjumper goes to, even while Starlock is riding him, vroom in the direction over of Santa. "IT's time to face the music for all you've done, Santa Claus! You're coming with me!" And then that huge sniper rifle is going up to aim over at the sleigh.. And it would go to unleash a fury normally reserved for..

... Okay this si Cliffjumper, the fury is kind of the normal go-to. But can he shoot down that sleigh-ride jingling tingling?

Buster looks at Spike in amazement, both at his blind, dumb courage, and at... was that... Santa? "I don't believe it," he says, mouth open and breathing steam. "I just don't believe it. So, it wasn't Santa that was evil after all," he says, glancing at Gigawatt. "Santa just saved the day!" Stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets and shivering, Buster just shakes his head. What a night.

Gigawatt lowers his Mr. Fusion arm cannon and just stares off at the retreating COBRA-MAS Miscreants. It takes him a moment or two to look up at the SOUND OF SLEIGH BELLS AND HO-HO-HOness that's coming and ends up looking quite awestruck.

"... Great Scott." Nothing else can be said because wow. Just: WOW. If he saw what he thinks he heard or heard what he thinks he saw or neither of both possibilities... then yeah, WOW.

80s-Spike looks pretty bewildered as well. He looks at Buster, as his ears are now nearly frostbitten red as he feverishly tries breathing into his fingers to get some sort of feeling. "I...well..." He frowns at his brother. "It wasn't Santa! I mean...there has to be an explanation!" terms of an explanation, he can't think of any, so Buster may be right.

Meanwhile, as Gigawatt whispers his tone of amazement, to him and him alone he can hear.. "Ah'am a givin' her all she's got Cap'n!"

80s-Hound finds himself grinning, actually, even as he stands there with a slightly smushed fruitcake in hand. "You humans have the most *wonderful* customs..." The holo-Christmas trees go from threatening to happily dancing together there in the background, because... Because. Because this is totally the 80s and it's totally fresh, man. Radical and gnarly, dude! BODACIOUS!

Starlock looks at Cliff as he fires wildly and just.. she sighs and decide to just kick her fellow mini-bot over, just to feel a bit better.

Huffing and puffing, Lady Jaye would watch Santa going off and let out a cheer. "We saved Christmas from Cobra!" Holding up her Javelin in the air. "I saved this one for just an occasion!" She would launch it up into the air as it would explode in a series of fireworks and a HAPPY HOLIDAYS Transformers Universe!

80s-Roadblock watches as one, two, three fruitcakes sail over and play 10-pin with a few bats. "Not EVEN from Claxton?! You shop at K-smart! An' yo Momma gets her biscuits from a freezer bag!" A shake of his head, watching as Cobra retreats. "man, I hope they didn't start the turducken without me. those things are -delicate-..."

80s-Spike runs toward Lady Jaye and Roadblock. One of two teenagers who are not dressed for the elements, and are certainly not dressed for combat. He shakes his head in awe. "THAT...was outtasite! Thank you so much!"

Riley Hospital for Children - 2020


"... and that is how one year, Santa really did save Christmas," Shipwreck finishes, addressing a large group of sick kids at a hospital on Christmas Eve. "And I have to tell you - a merry time was had by all." Shipwreck smiles, stroking his salt-and-pepper beard, looking a little proud of himself. There is a long awkward silence, and then one kid gets to his feet. "Yes, uh, Timmy?" Shipwreck asks, bending down slightly to listen to the child's response.

"That's BULLSHIT," Timmy yells, kicking Shipwreck hard in the shin. "Stop tellin' lies!"

As Shipwreck starts cursing like the sailor he is, a second child starts to cry.

A third child just stares at Shipwreck, muttering, "I have so many questions..."

For Shipwreck, though, the story is over... for now.


Meanwhile, back in Autobot City - Earth - 1988

Spike Witwicky

Autobot City is the home base and primary headquarters of the Autobots on Earth. Built by Grapple and Wheeljack in 1986, Autobot City is located near Lookout Mountain, in the Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee tri-state area.

80s-Spike wakes up, after having a VERY trippy dream involving Santas and snow. It's Christmas Eve. And he's on winter break, as is Buster. Picking up his dad's habits early on, even as a kid, he's up around 7:15 in the morning on Christmas Eve.

Buster, used to his aunt and uncle's more relaxed routine and needing more sleep as a growing teen, stays in bed as late as possible. Finally, though, hunger drags him out of bed, as the Garfield dilemma - feuding gluttony and laziness - drives him from his slumber. Slipping on his X-Men pajamas, he pads out of the guest room and looks for his brother and father, running his hand through his messy blonde hair.

Buster, used to his aunt and uncle's more relaxed routine and needing more sleep as a growing teen, stays in bed as late as possible. Finally, though, hunger drags him out of bed, as the Garfield dilemma - feuding gluttony and laziness - drives him from his slumber. Slipping on his X-Men pajamas, he pads out of the guest room and looks for his brother and father, running his hand through his messy blonde hair.

80s-Spike is at the breakfast table, perfectly content eating some cereal. He looks on at financial aid for school. His gallivanting with the Autobots may have finally cost him. Most of the scholarships out there require a B - average. He's barely making a C+. Finally, he sees two scholarships that had the C+, but the money allotted is pretty meager: $500. He looks up from the forms he found in the library - to his little brother. 80s-Spike says, "Oh, did you sleep?"" Word most likely got to Buster too Spike's ACT score... a decidedly unremarkable 19 (but in 1988 judging, so...he has to be a genius today, right?) - which pretty much cut him off from a large chunk of financial aid.

Buster scratches the top of his head again. "Pretty well, I guess," he allows. "I read Matilda before bed. It was rather good. I can really identify with the main character, of course," he says, pouring himself his own bowl of cereal. Sitting down, he says thoughtfully, "You know, Autobot City is a lot quieter than I'd imagined. There's a low hum, but... I guess I expected more vrooming of cars and such."

80s-Spike nods, trying to maintain intellectual superiority to his little brother. "Yeah, it's a good book." 80s-Spike looks around in pride. He grins. "Yeah...they REALLY did a good job... they wanted to make it as close to a real human city as possible." He looks at his brother and grins. "So...this would be a place you see yourself living this summer after I got to college?"

"I think I'll read A Brief History of Time next," Buster says airily. "My science education's been underwhelming." At Spike's suggestion, though, Buster makes a face, practically spitting out his cereal. "What? No way. Why would I want to live in an Autobot City?" he demands, teen anger rapidly rising. "You and Dad can't throw me away for years and then suddenly invite me to move into your robot fauxtopia."

80s-Spike shakes his head, scoffing slightly. "Dad KEPT you safe, because your well-being was first and foremost. But now that you're OLDER...and you can take care of YOURSELF..." he says in a passive aggressive tone. "It'd be a good opportunity to catch up. That's all he's been talking about - how excited he is to finally have you here." 80s-Spike says with sage, big-brotherly advice. "Besides...I think it'd be good for you to be part of something bigger than just your own world..." he continues to eat his plain Cheerios.

Buster twists his young face into a scoff of his own. "Well, it's going to take a lot more than a 'sorry' and an excuse to win me back over. I'm here because Uncle Ron asked me to give Dad a chance. No other reason," he says stingingly. "'O' and I could be spending the week playing 'Outburst', but No... I get to watch you idolize Optimus Prime like he's the second coming of Jesus."

Ohhh...that touched a nerve. Spike glares at Buster. "Heyah...stop it."

80s-Spike says in his usual Spike tone "We'd be so lucky if we had him as president instead of Bush or Dukakis." 80s-Spike frowns, getting more defensive "Under him, we'd probably not even have stuff like unemployment or homelessness!"

Buster glances up, teen dickishness sensing blood in the water. "What? Why, do you want me to be quiet so you can tell me how great Bumblebee is again?" He shakes his head. "And President Prime? You already think of him as Robot Lincoln. What's he going to do - end the Cybertron civil war and then get assassinated?" Buster shakes his head in disgust. "I'll bet Carly wishes you looked at her like you look at Optimus."

80s-Spike frowns and pounds his fist on the island where the two are eating. He gets up. "You know what...go in your room and read and feel sorry for yourself this entire break. Why should anything change for you?"

80s-Spike gets up, buttoning up his work coveralls. "I've got stuff to do..."

Buster says, "I'll be sure to take notes to explain anything you don't understand."

80s-Spike frowns as he yells back "There's more to life than books, yaknow!"

80s-Buster mutters to himself, "... inside... engine is where it's... alright."

80s-Spike shakes his head in annoyance and jogs into the repair bay - 7:23 - 7 minutes before he's supposed to be in there. Sparkplug maybe has a 'spend time with Buster' day so maybe Sparkplug has more stuff than usual for Spike to work on. Spike looks at his coveralls and makes sure they're buttoned properly. "Heyah dad - "

Sparkplug looks over from where he's already been at work for several hours. He gives his son an initial smile before it slowly fades. "Morning, son," he says hesitantly. "What's wrong?" he follows with more confidence. "Fighting with your brother?" he asks empathetically. He cleans most of the grease off his hands, setting down his wrench to give Spike his full attention.

80s-Spike blinks, surprised he was able to read him so well, was he that upset? He shakes his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "No...just a misunderstanding, that's all." He sits down, facing his dad. "Anything you want me to work on today?"

Sparkplug accepts Spike's explanation with a nod, not pushing if Spike doesn't want to talk about it. Instead, he turns to a lift and says, "I was hoping you'd help me get Quickmix back on his feet today so we can all take tomorrow off for Christmas. 'Mix had another accident in his lab, and we'll have to replace a lot of armor plating. Ratchet's whipping up the new parts, but there's a lot of delicate work to be done in the meantime."

80s-Spike nods eagerly. Navigating through a 13 year-old's angst vs. working on the armor realignment for if he had to choose. He gives his dad a tentative look "I'm still kinda green on installing the heat panelings...could you maybe check my work on that part?"

Sparkplug grins proudly. "Absolutely, son! I'll let you take the lead in their installation. I'll monitor and give you any pointers, but I'm almost sure you're ready to handle them by yourself. Quickmix is already under, so you don't have to worry about any sudden movement. He was in a little pain from his chemical burns, so he opted to sleep it off while we work."

80s-Spike nods and grins. "Cool..."

80s-Spike looks at his dad and says in a leading tone. "Actually...I can start on removing the rest of his damaged armor and cleaning that up and installing the 'easy' new plates before the hard stuff...that'll eat up like an hour or two...if you want to spend some time with Buster..." he trails off before picking up "...maybe you'll have better luck than me."

Sparkplug raises his thick eyebrows, but then nods slowly. "That's not a bad idea," he says evenly. "You don't need me breathing down your neck for the easy stuff." He cleans the rest of the oil and grease off his hands and sets the shop rag down in its proper spot for when he needs it again. "If you need me, just call - but I know you got this," he says with a confident smile.

80s-Spike 's eyes widen and a grin forms. "You mean it?" He then goes to Quickmix's table. Should be a pretty chill day, so long as no assholes show up. Oh, yeah, Dust Devil.

80s-Spike squints at the roster, thanks to the developments around Autobot City, travel to Cybertron has been easier. "Huh..." he says to his dad. "Looks like we got some arrivals today as well." 80s-Spike looks at Sparkplug "From Cyb'tron."

Sparkplug pauses in the doorway, thick eyebrows raised in interest. "Did they send over their medical schematics?" he asks, mechanical curiosity battling with his honest desire to spend time with his seldom-seen second son. Maybe he could show Buster the blueprints to the new Autobots arriving! Surely THAT will finally spark some interest in the younger Witwicky. He can't just be book smart forever.

The rapidfire alien sound of the Cybertronian language can be heard as a somewhat rust covered and dented to hell mech that is speaking loudly to the mechs that he's come across. He appears rather agitated and points at the shuttle and then up at the sky. He glares and as someone tries to explain things to him. However at this point he's staring at the little....things walking around.

80s-Spike shakes his head, waving his dad off to do the actual 'hard' work - to visit his other son. "Nah...I think these may just be like...short-term visitors." He grins at his dad, knowing few things in the world are as difficult as talking to a 13-year-old. "I'll follow-up. You just take care of Bus..." He pauses, looking at the new arrival. "Hyeah...can we help you?"

Sparkplug lingers a bit longer, but then familial responsibility wins over at last. "Alright. Well, make our guests comfortable, and if you need me - I'll be in the livin' area." Sparkplug waves to the newcomers and then heads deeper into the city, to try to get to know his estranged son and try to find some common ground. I mean, it's Christmas, right? It's a time for family togetherness.

80s-Spike nods obediently "Yessir..." He then looks on at the new arrival from his position on the repair bay table.

Dust Devil stares at the beings....humans he was informed. Bipedal, supposedly sentient and apparently very squishy. Do not bump, hit, a touch. Oookay. He mumbles something to the annoying security bot. Whatever. Glancing down he tilts his head, listening to the cadence of the human voices before looking at security again. He talks to security in cybertronian some more before Security translates and shakes his head. Looking to Spike who made the request? Statement? Question? He shakes his head.

80s-Spike looks at his dad, questioning the odd new arrival. He raises a hand. "Greetings! Welcome to Earth!" He point to an empty med table. "If you need...we can help you!"

Looking around, Chainclaw steps off the shuttle and immediately inquires as to the location of the Autobot City medical center. "Excuse me," he asks in English, bending down to look at Spike and interrupting his greeting to Dust Devil. "Are you a mechanic here?" He reaches across his body with his left hand to his right shoulder. "I have a pain in my joint here. I think it's a nasty burr on my rotator. I heard that can happen. Is that serious?" he asks. "Could I lose the arm?" he asks with sincere worry. Luckily for him, soon he is taken away for consultation...