- 1 Events
- 1.1 January
- 1.2 February
- 1.2.1 February 12 - Sheikh Mohammed Wins Election in Trucial Abysmia
- 1.2.2 February 18 - "It's All Fun and Games"
- 1.2.3 February 25 - "Use the Force, Dust Devil!"
- 1.2.4 February 25 - "The Commander and the General"
- 1.2.5 February 25 - "Cyclonus v. Starscream"
- 1.2.6 February 25 - "Well-Oiled Machine"
- 1.2.7 February 26 - "The Cure"
- 1.3 March
- 1.4 April
- 1.4.1 April 02 - Denver Has A Problem...
- 1.4.2 02 April - "Easter cookies"
- 1.4.3 April 7 - Freestyle
- 1.4.4 April 13 - Convoy attacks Three Mile Island
- 1.4.5 April 14 - Three Mile Island Raided
- 1.4.6 April 14 - Mission Prep
- 1.4.7 April 17 - Cobra Unity Condemns Boston Blast, Criticizes US Policy
- 1.4.8 April 23 - Scientists Report Strange Phenomen
- 1.4.9 April 29 - Missing Student
- 1.5 May
- 1.5.1 May 08 - Great Greenshirt Revolution?
- 1.5.2 May 16 - New Youtube Video making the rounds
- 1.5.3 May 19 - Tres Vignettes
- 1.5.4 May 20 - Buzzsaw Rescue Attempt
- 1.5.5 May 20 - "Sgt. Mace's Undercover Operation in Denver"
- 1.5.6 May 24 - Once Upon a Joe, Part 2
- 1.5.7 May 30 - Carly's Experiment (a/k/a The End of Dan-o's Hoverboard)
- 1.6 June
- 1.7 July
- 1.7.1 Jul 03 - Never leave your Wifi Unpassworded
- 1.7.2 Jul 03 - Dafuq is up in US Air Space?
- 1.7.3 Jul 03 - EU leaders outraged over allegations
- 1.7.4 July 7 - "Get Along Lil Steggy"
- 1.7.5 Jul 14 - Five Meteorites
- 1.7.6 July 14 - "Some Advice"
- 1.7.7 July 14 - "Attack of the Giant Robot Sea Turtle!"
- 1.7.8 July 16 - "Daniel meets DJ"
- 1.7.9 Jul 17 - Doctor Windshear, Processor Shrinker
- 1.7.10 Jul 18 - Roof Ripped Off School
- 1.7.11 July 18 - "Dressing Down"
- 1.7.12 July 18 - "Crimson Guard 1930's BWS Session"
- 1.7.13 July 19 - Keep your pink nose out, Mugabe tells US
- 1.7.14 July 19 - "Quintesson Invasion - The Arrival"
- 1.7.15 July 19 - Earth Invasion
- 1.7.16 Jul 20 - Heard around Cobra
- 1.7.17 July 21 - Operation: Saving Ace
- 1.7.18 July 23 - Somethings' Popping in the Pit
- 1.7.19 July 24 - "A Garbled Transmission"
- 1.7.20 July 26 - A repeating transmission in LA
- 1.7.21 July 29 - Joes-Only Rumor
- 1.7.22 July 29 - "Ace Awakens"
- 1.8 August
- 1.8.1 Aug 01 - Gruesome discovery in Denver
- 1.8.2 Aug 02 - "Quintesson Invasion - 8/03/2013 - First Rescue"
- 1.8.3 Aug 02 - Unofficial Sources
- 1.8.4 August 03 - Physical Therapy
- 1.8.5 Aug 03 - Doctor arrested in Denver Deaths
- 1.8.6 August 04 - Chocolate Beer
- 1.8.7 Aug 04 - AP - Correction
- 1.8.8 Aug 04 - Quintesson Update
- 1.8.9 Aug 05 - Quintesson Invasion
- 1.8.10 Aug 05 - Emergency Supply Relief Drop
- 1.8.11 Aug 05 - L.A. Extraction
- 1.8.12 Aug 06 - Unofficial Sources 2
- 1.8.13 Aug 08 - Syrian troops deal blow to rebels
- 1.8.14 Aug 11 - Reports from China & Russia
- 1.8.15 Aug 11 - Mugabe makes first speech since disputed Zimbabwe poll
- 1.8.16 8/11 - "Quintesson Escalation
- 1.8.17 Aug 13 - Successful Rescue
- 1.8.18 August 18 - "Autobot Broadband Chatter"
- 1.8.19 Aug 19 - Destruction of the USS Flagg
- 1.8.20 Aug 19 - Quintesson Toll
- 1.8.21 August 19 - "Attack on the Refugee Camp"
- 1.8.22 August 20 - "Travelling Companion"
- 1.8.23 Aug 21 - Cobra Island Infiltration
- 1.8.24 August 22 - "Potato-Peeler"
- 1.8.25 August 22 - "Mistakes Were Made"
- 1.8.26 August 23 - "Pit Assault"
- 1.8.27 Aug 24 - Syria warns US not to intervene militarily
- 1.8.28 8/24 - "Attack on Offut AFB"
- 1.8.29 Aug 25 - Bounty
- 1.8.30 August 25 - "Bull in a China Shop"
- 1.8.31 Aug 27 - Another Bounty
- 1.8.32 Aug 27 - Imperial War Museum haunted?
- 1.8.33 August 27 - "Crosscut Report"
- 1.8.34 August 29 - C'nest Pas le Poutine
- 1.8.35 August 29 - "Spike Returns to Vilnacron Station"
- 1.8.36 8/31 - "The Final Phase"
- 1.9 September
- 1.9.1 9/1/2013 - "Capturing an Alley-Viper"
- 1.9.2 9/1 - "Capturing Joes"
- 1.9.3 9/2 - "The Trial"
- 1.9.4 September 02 - "Maybe Dealiticus Will Buy Us a Few Minutes"=
- 1.9.5 9/3 - "Sewer Demolition"
- 1.9.6 9/3 - "Last Stand"
- 1.9.7 Sep 03 - Strange Transmissions in LA
- 1.9.8 Sep 03 - The Invasion is Over
- 1.9.9 September 09 - Brand New Face
- 1.9.10 Sep 19 - New Youtube Video
- 1.9.11 Sep 17 - Official Press Release
- 1.9.12 24 September 2013 - "Cheap Wheels"
- 1.10 October
- 1.11 November
- 1.12 December
- 1.13 Con World
- 1.14 Witwicky What If? Universe
- January 1 - "Polyhex Lost" - Polyhex falls to Hubcap and the Trans-Organics.
- January 14 - "Short Consultation" - Cyclonus consults with Scourge about Hubcap having taken over Darkmount.
- January 17 - "Cold War" - Cobra Commander announces his intention to take down US-allied regimes
- January 27 - "Trucial Abysmia to try 94 accused of trying to seize power"
- January 28 - "Pump-Felt Farewells" - Alpha Trion says good-bye to the Shattered Glass Decepticons and gathers the remaining Autobots to return to the main-universe Temple of Knowledge
- January 28 - "Damn Junkions" - Gears returns to Autobot City and runs into Sit-Com.
- January 28 - "Sparring Partners" - 910 and Clutch spar at the Pit.
- January 28 - "Battle for Polyhex II" - Cyclonus and Scourge battle for Polyhex.
- January 28 - "Debate" - Trucial Abysmia hosts its presidential debates.
February 12 - Sheikh Mohammed Wins Election in Trucial Abysmia
The BBC is confirming that Sheikh Mohammed has been elected the new leader of Trucial Abysmia. His win stuns election pundits who roundly predicted that his father, the more moderate Sheikh Saud would continue his near two-decade rule of the land. The husband and wife couple can be seen leaving their presidential palace late tonight (grainy camera of Sheikh Saud and his wife Hana getting into a limo). Sheikh Mohammed will be the youngest ruler in Trucial Abysmia in nearly 300 years. More as this story unfolds.
February 18 - "It's All Fun and Games"
February 25 - "Use the Force, Dust Devil!"
Benin-Jeri helps Dust Devil adjust to his new body.
February 25 - "The Commander and the General"
Cobra Commander discusses with General Alawai Cobra's alliance with Trucial Abysmia.
February 25 - "Cyclonus v. Starscream"
Cyclonus and Starscream battle for leadership of Cybertron.
February 25 - "Well-Oiled Machine"
Sparkplug and Spike work together in the repair bay.
February 26 - "The Cure"
- March 04 - "Dr. Junkion and the Aerialbots" - Paging Dr. Sit-Com!
- March 04 - "Lifeline Returns to the Pit" - Lifeline runs into Clutch as he returns to the Pit.
- March 4 - "Royal Procession" - Steel-Brigadier 910 meets Cobra Commander!
- March 10 - Sheikh Saud and his wife Hana appear on state TV in Trucial Abysmia and wish the population well before embarking on a vacation to London. Under orders from General Alawai , Sheikh Saud doesn't reveal the real reason they are leaving: they are being exiled by their son.
- March 11 - Both sides in Syria ‘increasingly reckless’ with civilian lives
- March 11 - "Dust Devil Modifications" - Dust Devil tests out his new body modifications.
- March 11 - "Versus the Dweller" - Valour takes Windshear on an ill-advised test of his abilities.
- March 11 - "Leaders in Exile" - Jumal and Sheikh Saud meet in England to talk.
- March 12 - "Amazing Discovery" - Buster discovers some amazing things about his great-grandfather.
- March 27 - Anwar Assan makes a Jailhouse Statement
- March 31 - Cobra slams Arab League support of Syria rebels
- March 31 - "Easter Baskets" - Barbecue offers Temera her first Easter basket
April 02 - Denver Has A Problem...
Over the past 6 months to a year, the Denver Metropolitan Area has seen an unprecedented surge of crime. Not all of the crime is violent, but petit thefts and drug-related offenses are considerably more numerous than they've been in prior years. The mayors of Denver, Aurora, Highlands Ranch, Littleton, and other surrounding suburbs have increased police patrols to the point where it's putting a strain on city budgets. What's more, even the increased security presence hasn't made a significant decrease in the number of arrests.
The latest tragedy in the area was at a weekend party at UC-Denver, where four college students overdosed on some extremely potent drugs. Three of the students went into seizures and are being treated at area hospitals in guarded condition, and a fourth student was dead on arrival.
April 7 - Freestyle
Freestyle joins the ranks of G.I. Joe.
April 13 - Convoy attacks Three Mile Island
Convoy along with Buzzsaw raided the nuclear facility known as Three Mile Island. In addition to a haul of energon cubes they were able to remove the entire reactor core from the facility and deliver it to Trypticon for Scrapper's use.
April 14 - Three Mile Island Raided
- Three Mile Island generating facility attacked
- Yesterday evening residents of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania found themselves without electrical power as a Decepticon raiding party attacked the Three Mile Island nuclear generating station. In addition to collecting energon cubes the attacking Decepticon <an image of Convoy appears> removed the entire reactor core from the building, effectively shutting down the station. The attacker was aided by another Decepticon in the form of a large bird <an image of Buzzsaw appears> who in addition to assisting in the raid took one of the plant technicians hostage. The whereabouts of the technician are unknown at this time.
- Officials are now analyzing the damage to the station but are already estimating the replacement of the reactor and its fuel at nearly half a billion dollars. Work is underway to attempt to reroute power to the local grid from other grids with surpluses but power rationing in Harrisburg is likely to be a fact of life for months to come. Officials are also noting a lack of response from the Autobots in regard to this latest Decepticon raid. Those questioned said they have no comment for now, but a feeling of unrest is evident in the residents of the town. More as it develops.
April 14 - Mission Prep
April 17 - Cobra Unity Condemns Boston Blast, Criticizes US Policy
April 23 - Scientists Report Strange Phenomen
NASA JET PROPULSION LABORATORY - Scientists from NASA's JPL have released a study going back 6 years.
- "Since the loss of an experimental power generation satellite in 2007, and the subsequent reports
of strange after effects from its detonation, we have been studying those effects closely." reported Dr. Sanders of their theoretical research group. "The satellite's explosion has seemed to have an unusual effect on what we perceive as the constant of time. For the past 6 years this instability, as we can best describe it, has remained rather constant, but signs are showing an increase in readings. For now, we have no theories as to what effects this may cause, but we encourage anyone who experiences unusual time-related effects to contact our office. We do wish to stress, however, that this is likely to have little effect on anyone's daily lives."
- Some other experts in the field have called their findings questionable, but the JPL scientists
insist their data is solid. Meanwhile, in other news, the New York Yankees season opener starts..."
April 29 - Missing Student
UC Denver student Adam Dombrowski, age 20, went missing over the weekend, as did his 2013 red BMW sports coupe with Colorado vanity plate 'FRAT4LYFE'. His fellow fraternity brothers are working with law enforcement to search the area for him, and they ask anyone with any information to please contact Denver police.
- 05-04 - "The Skyfire in the Mirror Pt. 2" - Buzzsaw and Skyfire get trapped in the Shattered Glass universe.
May 08 - Great Greenshirt Revolution?
- Something is up at the Pit, although nobody's talking about it. A good portion of the Greenshirts seem to have something planned, although none of them will speak anything to the actual joes about it. When asked, they talk about the "Great Greenshirt Revolution, where we will overthrow the GI Joes and get our moment in the spotlight!" in a joking way. On the other hand, they also have reassured any concerned that no rules will be broken, nobody SHOULD get hurt (hey, accidents and random Cobra Attacks can happen) and its all in good fun. So far, all people know it involves is Iphones or Ipads, gas masks, Wild Bills' Guitar, an empty medical kit and a jeep (One of them actually paid to replace any gas used out of his own pocket), all of which were returned promptly and undamaged when done with.
May 16 - New Youtube Video making the rounds
A new account on Youtube has posted a video that has certainly been turning heads and making commentaries:
- The picture clicks on, and you can see Mike (910) sitting
there in a computer chair, wearing sunglasses and his greens. It looked like they were in an empty hangar office at an airforce base. The other greenshirts were poised around him, wearing gas masks and sunglases over them as well. There's an audible click, and then Bruno Mars' "The Lazy Song" starts to play as the Greenshirts all bob their heads to the music, with 910 lip-synching the lines "Today I don't feel like doing anything! I just wanna lay in my bed. Don't feel like picking up my phone - So leave a message at the tone! 'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything. Uh!"
With rehearsed practice, the greenshirts broke apart, and one pulled on 910s' chair, sending him coasting out of view. The screen cuts away as he rolls up to a desk facing it, lifting his feet with perfect timing to prop on the old surface while another pair of Joes, wearing tank tops and casual pants were ironing uniforms in the background.
"I'm gonna kick my feet up, Then stare at the fan - Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants! Nobody's gonna tell me I can't." The greenshirts hold up a pair of freshly pressed dress pants, shaking their heads seriously in time to 910, who folds his arms around himself. Another cut scene, and they were in what looked like barracks, greenshirts all lazing about in bed, staring at a small television with flickering images wearing camo-print ponchos as their feet swayed side to side to the music ""I'll be lounging on the couch,Just chillin' in my snuggie! Click to MTV, so they can teach me how to dougie.." and then another cut, this time to one of the more impressive vehicles, the greenshirts all standing proudly and dramatically on it in their sunglasses as 910 thumbed at himself. 'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man! Oh yes, I said it, I said it! I said it cause I can!"
And then back to the original set with the gas masks as they bobbed to the chorus a second time, before jumping up to leap dramatically repeatedly during the 'whop whoop' parts, two of them even body slamming each other before they all staggered out of view of the camera. A slight flick, and then 910 wearing his military issue pajamas, stretching his back as he turns back to the camera, one of the feminine greenshirts stepping in to learn on him as he puts an arm around her, then swings her about to dip her over one knee. "Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex, And she's gonna scream out: 'This is Great' " The girl puts a hand by her mouth, then grins mischievously and shakes her head. Noting this, 910 'hands her' over, quite literally to one of the larger greenshirts who carries her off screen. "Yeah, I might mess around, and get my college degree, I bet my old man will be so proud of me. " A shrug, and an apologetic smile from the sunglassed joe as the chair is rolled back to him and he sits down again. "But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait! Oh yes I said it, I said it - I said it cause I can!" Just in time for another round of the chorus, again with the crowd of greenshirts, this time a few of them wearing pony party hats. It cuts off again to seeing 910's feet, with his blonde hair laying in pieces around it, then it pans up to show a freshly buzz-cutted Mike standing in front of the mirror as one of the others grabs him and noogies his head goofily "No, I ain't gonna comb my hair - 'Cause I ain't going anywhere. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... " it froze, then slid to one side, showing now just from the waist up as 910 just strode by, wearing no shirt but bobbing his head. Wearing the sunglasses still and flashes a 'rock out' sign to the camera. "I'll just strut in my birthday suit - And let everything hang loose! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. "
And finally, back to that chair once more as the now-dressed Greenshirt retook his seat. From off-camera, Wild Bill's guitar is tossed to him and he catches it easily, setting up to plunk away within the masked greenshirts again " Ooh! Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed. Don't feel like picking up my phone - So leave a message at the tone! 'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything... Nothing at all whooop-whoop! Whoop-whoop! nothing at all!" during the final lines, the greenshirts moved again, this time just goofing off, smacking each other with pillows and tumbling over the bed, while three conga-lined funkily across behind 910.
Finally, it fades with just the initials GGR.
May 19 - Tres Vignettes
Three scenes that happen just prior to Sgt. Mace's undercover investigation of Eddie's Denver drug operation. Starring spikewitwicky as Sal (the lawyer) and Elron (the enforcer), as well as Geddy the boytoy. Mature subject matter; something wicked this way comes. You have been warned.
May 20 - Buzzsaw Rescue Attempt
May 20 - "Sgt. Mace's Undercover Operation in Denver"
May 24 - Once Upon a Joe, Part 2
May 30 - Carly's Experiment (a/k/a The End of Dan-o's Hoverboard)
- June 10 - "Bartering Time" - While investigating strange energy readings in the Yukon, Carly has an encounter with some Decepticons that jeopardizes her research project, as well as her life.
- June 16 - The Witwickys Go Camping: Spike decides to take Daniel and his school friend Andy camping in the Oregon wilderness. Lifeline also makes an appearance. Good times are had by all!
- June 16 - Later that same night, Daniel takes his friend Andy along with him to explore a spooky abandoned home ...for science, of course. Contains some mature language.
- June 19 - "The Lion Sweeps Tonight" - Scourge hunts two bots, and gets more than he bargained for!
- June 19 - "Medical Complications" - Starscream discusses Windshear's medical condition with a Decepticon medic
Jun 20 - "Calgary Floods Rescue"
Lifeline accompanies a rescue team to Calgary, Alberta, to assist the Canadian authorities with keeping the population safe from severe flooding.
Jun 23 - Decepticons and Cobra?
Several cell-phone recorded videos of questionable quality are starting to surface on social media websites. The videos all show a COBRA Night Raven S3P dogfighting with a Skystriker with standard G.I. Joe markings, and a Harrier with the Autobot insignias, over a Missouri powerplant. The combat runs for a bit, with several exchanged blows before the Night Raven hightails it out of the fight with a Cybertronian Tetrajet bearing Decepticon markings joining alongside it.
Jun 23 - Cageless Eggs?
Someone has painstakingly snuck into the GI Joe's PIT kitchen and attached small pictures of Nicholas Cage to all the eggs in the 'cageless eggs' cartons... which is all of them. and that's a hell of a lot of eggs. Needless to say we found out that Roadblock sometimes shrieks in a soprano voice.
Jun 23 - Shocking News Tonight!
Shocking footage is rolling in today, accompanying official reports from Springfield, Missouri. A local power plant was the subject of an attack spearheaded by what appears to be both Decepticon and Cobra forces.
>**Cue camera footage, shaky and from a cell phone showing a dogfight involving a Joe Skystriker and an Autobot-marked Harrier fighter craft going up against a sleek, black aircraft with Cobra markings.** An intense aerial battle was caught by several spectators on the ground and shows a black aircraft bearing Cobra markings. Joes and Autobots both responded to the threat, eventually driving off the Cobra aircraft, but other reports indicate a ground-battle was also taking place between an Autobot and Decepticon. **Stock-file footage rolls of Decepticon Windshear**
- The Cobra Night Raven S3P, as it was identified by experts, took flight heavily damaged and trailing smoke while a Decepticon Seeker, identified potentially as Windshear, took flight and accompanied the Cobra Night Raven in departing the scene. Questions arise about potential Cobra/Decepticon ties resurfacing, but no official reports or statements have been issued. No civilian or military casualties were reported, the powerplant is expected to be restored to full operational capacity in three days' time.
27 June - "Dael Assault"
06-28 - The Trouble with Angels
Jun 30 - New Poster appears in Joe Base
This poster was found on the main barracks doors in the PIT:
ALWAYS give 100%. (Unless its blood, in which case give as much as they allow you to. But still give!)
Jul 03 - Never leave your Wifi Unpassworded
Something very... startling has happened at the Pit.
A lot of the Joes have been volunteering and using a new Joe app built by Dial Tone, allowing them to track where they check in/out and so forth around the Joe base, as well as up to date information on if they want to sign something out, etc... So far, not very useful really unless you're a scientist observing the feeding and migration habits of soldiers.
Today though, it started when Captain Falcon stepped out of the washroom, and his phone loudly played a victory fanfare. It seemed almost at random, but other locations around the Pit flagged in said App had music of its' own - stepping into the medical bay replayed a voice clip of the Emergency Medical Hologram from Star Trek: Voyager. The washroom had a victory fanfare, and General Hawks' office had the March of the Empire from Star Wars. The mess hall, meanwhile, played the Cantina music and the off duty lounge had 'All that Jazz' from the musical Chicago. Some seemed more generalized, while others seemed deliberately built for certain individuals (And indeed, some individuals only got certain sounds.)
Jul 03 - Dafuq is up in US Air Space?
The past few days has seen a flurry of excitement over US airspace, as there have been multiple reports of two Hercules planes 'chasing' each other and racing through the Grand Canyon. As of yet, aside from a few diverted flights, there have been no damages or risks to human vehicles or personnel, but its definitely getting the internet talking, especially since one seems to have a classic camouflage paint job and the other one a hideous lime green and purple paisley paint job.
Jul 03 - EU leaders outraged over allegations
LONDON - Europe turned up the pressure on the Dunham administration Monday to respond to new allegations that the U.S. bugged the embassies of some of its long-standing allies and eavesdropped on European Union diplomats around the world.
Leaders and officials of EU countries said that, if true, the reports of American spying on friendly nations were unacceptable and potentially damaging to relations across the Atlantic and to joint endeavors such as upcoming talks on a U.S.-EU free trade pact.
"We cannot accept this kind of behavior from partners and allies," French President Francois Hollande said on television Monday.
A spokesman for German Chancellor Angela Merkel was equally blunt, saying, "We're not in the Cold War anymore."
The allegations appeared in Germany's Der Spiegel magazine and Britain's Guardian newspaper, both of which said the eavesdropping operation was revealed in documents leaked by Edward Snowden, the fugitive American believed to be in diplomatic limbo at a Moscow airport.
The Guardian said that one document listed 38 foreign diplomatic missions as targets for electronic espionage, including such U.S. allies as Japan, Mexico, France, and Italy. One operation, code-named Dropmire, allegedly involved planting a bug in an encrypted fax machine used by the EU's mission in Washington.
Citing secret documents it had "partly seen", Der Spiegel said that the U.S. National Security Agency also tapped Eurpoean Union offices at the United Nations and in Brussels, where summits of EU leaders are regularly held.
The new allegations add to the concern that many European leaders have already expressed over the alleged collection of mountains of data on the emails and phone calls of millions of their citizens by American intelligence agencies. Privacy laws are generally more stringent in Europe than in the U.S. Germany in particular, where bitter memories of widespread informing and spying in the former East Germany are still fresh, has responded to allegations of U.S. surveillance with outrage.
"Clarity and transparency is what we expect from partners and allies, and this is what we expect from the U.S.," the European Commission said in a statement Monday.
Some analysts dismiss such indignation as hypocritical, saying that all governments, including those professing shock over the latest accusations, routinely spy on both friends and enemies to protect their interests.
"I guarantee you that in European capitals, there are people who are interested in, if not what I had for breakfast, at least what my talking points might be should I end up meeting with their leaders," President Dunham said at a news conference shortly after arriving in Tanzania on Monday. "That's how intelligence services operate."
It is unclear how much harm will truly be done to transatlantic relations, even if the allegations prove true. Although France has signaled that the revelations could negatively affect talks on free trade, which Paris is tepid about anyway, other countries such as Britain and Germany are eager to move forward on such an accord.
The first round of negotiations is to take place in Washington this month.
July 7 - "Get Along Lil Steggy"
The Calgary Stampede has the BEST RODEO EVER!
Jul 14 - Five Meteorites
- It didn't make the headlines, but those who follow astronomy stories would have seen an interesting article. At approximately 0900 GMT on Sunday morning, what scientists believed was a meteor appeared seemingly out of nowhere about twelve-hundred kilometers past the Moon's orbit. As it approached Earth's atmosphere, it exploded with enough force to send five large fragments in several directions. All five were tracked to Earth's surface, all of them landing in the oceans away from populated areas, and are believed to splashed down in-tact.
July 14 - "Some Advice"
Spike seeks advice from his dad about a decision made by Carly.
July 14 - "Attack of the Giant Robot Sea Turtle!"
Snarl and two agents of Cobra tangle with a giant robot sea turtle!
July 16 - "Daniel meets DJ"
Daniel makes a new friend.
Jul 17 - Doctor Windshear, Processor Shrinker
Maybe Windshear should hang a shingle...
Jul 18 - Roof Ripped Off School
A report comes in from California of a school whose Health Classroom had the roof ripped right off it. Witnesses reported seeing two Sweeps and a Seeker in the vicinity. Reporters are tracking down and interviewing the students, and while reports are mixed, the general consensus is the Sweeps were there to learn about 'the birds and the bees'. More information will be forthcoming as it becomes available.
July 18 - "Dressing Down"
July 18 - "Crimson Guard 1930's BWS Session"
July 19 - Keep your pink nose out, Mugabe tells US
Chinhoyi, Zimbabwe - President Robert Mugabe on Thursday rebuked the "insane" US for criticising his push for elections without key reforms and told it to keep its "pink nose" out of Zimbabwe's affairs.
"America must be mad, absolutely insane," Mugabe, who is seeking to extend his 33-year rule, told an election campaign rally in the northern town of Chinhoyi.
"For anyone to suggest that our elections must not be held even after the expiry of the term of parliament, because some party is arguing for reforms of our security forces, is a mad argument, completely."
Mugabe declared July 31 polling date to choose a successor to the wobbly power-sharing government.
His main rival Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai had wanted a delay to allow time to implement a battery of reforms including an overhaul of the security forces headed by Mugabe's allies.
During his visit to neighbouring South Africa, Dunham said "harassment of citizens and groups needs to stop and reform needs to move forward so people can cast their votes in elections that are fair and free and credible."
Mugabe said Zimbabwe would determine its own future and that the US has no moral ground to chastise his regime.
"Keep your pink nose out of our affairs, please."
"Where do you get that audacity to open your mouth and try to sermonise us," questioned Mugabe, alleging racism was rife in the US.
"Your prisons are still full of blacks. Where is your democracy? There is lots of racism in your country."
He reiterated his decision to bar the US and the European Union from observing the Zimbabwe vote.
"We have already invited well meaning friends. Ill-intentioned friends, we never can invite."
Observers from the Southern African Development Community, the African Union, and Cobra Unity will watch the vote.
The EU Thursday wrapped up a summit with South Africa, urging Zimbabwean political players to take all the necessary steps "to create and ensure a conducive environment for the holding of peaceful, credible, free and fair elections".
A representative from Cobra Unity has chastised the EU and the US alike for attempted interference in Zimbabwean affairs. "(The United States and the European Union) must refrain, for the sake of diplomacy, from attempting to inflict their own political and sociological ideologies upon Zimbabwe. To do otherwise is to insult the leaders of this great nation, who are more than capable of conducting a fair election."
July 19 - "Quintesson Invasion - The Arrival"
The Quintessons hijacked Earth's broadcasts, passing judgement for the inadvertent destruction of their homeworld, Quintessa. Their Warships laid waste to the city of Los Angeles, dropping legions of Sharkticons throughout the city. Despite the efforts of Autobots, Decepticons, and Cobra, their flagship, the Bellum, descended and took up residence in the city ruins.
July 19 - Earth Invasion
- Last night at approximately 5pm Eastern, communications across the globe were disrupted. A group calling themselves Quintessons hijacked all television and most internet signals, broadcasting a claim that the actions of Earth had destroyed their homeworld. Holding a mock-trial in this broadcast, the invaders sentenced the population of Earth to death. It is clear that these Quintessons intend to make good on their word. An attack force has practically leveled Los Angeles, and an enormous spiral tower has taken up residence within the city. The Quintessons' forces have surrounded the city, and they appear to have a team of combining transformers as well. We will, of course, bring you more information as it is discovered.
Jul 20 - Heard around Cobra
July 21 - Operation: Saving Ace
Nightingale and Lifeline perform abdominal surgery on Ace to complete the procedures on the pilot's intestinal injuries, and to document them for the top brass. Afterwards, Chance makes an appearance, and something completely unexpected happens! What would that be? Read Operation: Saving Ace to find out!
July 23 - Somethings' Popping in the Pit
The day at the PIT this week started out relatively normal. Almost boringly so. A few jeeps were out doing some instructional driving for new greenshirts who'd just arrived, when a faint POP is heard under the hood of one of the Jeeps, barely audible over the sound of the engine itself. They pull over immediately to find out what was wrong, when another rang out! Very soon it sounded almost like miniature machinegunfire under the hood when one of the mechanics popped the lid, and buckets of freshly popped (And covered in engine oil) /popcorn/ starteed to rain out of the gap and onto the tarmac below.
July 24 - "A Garbled Transmission"
July 26 - A repeating transmission in LA
The transmission is sent out over all international aviation channels, most CB bands, and the FM radio band that Encore uses to broadcast his pirate radio station. It repeats every five minutes, but does not give co-ordinates, just in case. After every repeat, there is a pause for replies. After enough repetition, the message can be put together as follows:
"Mayday, mayday this is ENC-55-3105... is anyone out there?" Even through interference, the Scottish accent is clear. "I am down in Los Angeles, heavily damaged. I'm not flight-worthy, but I can move... slowly." There's a wry chuckle. "Is anyone receiving me? Joe or Cobra, Autobot or Decepticon if there's anyone out there, we're all in the same fr-fr-fr-" His voice glitches, and there's a clang as Encore slams his head into something to fix it. "Fraggin' boat here, after all. I have energon distilling experience, I can recycle old energon and... well, given some gasoline or butane I can rustle up something vaguely drinkable. Won't taste nice, or be very good for ya in the long run, but it'll keep the pumps running. Please respond on any frequency. ENC-55-3105, designation Encore, sending a mayday, I repeat, mayday, mayday, requesting emergency care from any available forces who are hearing this..."
July 29 - Joes-Only Rumor
There's been some excited discussion around The Pit lately that plans are underway for an independently-funded Joe hangout. The idea was originally floated by Sparks, and rumors abound that the place will be a restaurant and bar that might feature 'celebrity' guest chefs such as Roadblock. Further scuttlebutt wagers that Lifeline is in on the actual funding/partnership, so expect some healthy fare along with the typical fatty goodness one might expect from such an establishment.
July 29 - "Ace Awakens"
Ace finally awakes after his savage beating from Major Bludd.
Aug 01 - Gruesome discovery in Denver
A horrifying discovery was made by law enforcement officials July 31 when the badly decomposed bodies of eleven people were discovered in an abandoned home. FBI have sealed off the area and Hazmat teams have gone in to identify the bodies, all of whom have been in various advanced stages of decomposition. Anonymous sources within the Denver police have said some of the victims were shot execution style. One of the dead is believed to be a missing University of Colorado student. And while people within the police department have been reluctant to say anything, it's believed that due to the nature of the way the bodies were found, it has to do something with the alarming rise of a new and dangerous drug organization in Denver.
A group of Joes, Cobras, and Decepticons have hunkered down in a subterranean parking garage with a number of civilian survivors inside Quintesson-occupied Los Angeles. A dedicated rescue effort to pull survivors out of Los Angeles was launched by Cobra and supported by Reverb. Nightlash, already inside the city, provides air support and diversion.
Aug 02 - Unofficial Sources
- A female anchor for the morning news looks at the camera, face graven. "Shocking footage from Los Angeles was released by an unconfirmed source last night. We warn you, the following is not for the faint of heart."
- The image shifts to a side-by-side camera feed. Left side standard and the right side infrared. Buildings are toppled, several heat signatures on the infrared side could be fires, but also could belong to those trapped in rubble.
- The aircraft taking the images rolls, cameras offering a brief glance of a sleek, black underbelly and what appears to be a Cobra emblem. Exotic and fearsome fightercraft belonging to the Quintesson armada swarm the skies, angling to pursue. There is a momentary flash as a missile is launched from the surveillance aircraft, managing to knock one out of the sky.
- The camera rotates to the ground again, showing a Junkion taking on more than a few Sharkticons before the image is filled with laser fire and becomes blindingly bright. The last image is rearward as Los Angeles is left behind, the jet clearly having gone supersonic.
- The anchor returns to the screen. "I have been told this video feed was released on a broad spectrum of signals, accompanying a repeating SOS transmission targeted at the Autobots, the Joe teams, and Cobra forces. The pilot of the aircraft which recorded the images is, as of yet, unknown."
August 03 - Physical Therapy
Aug 03 - Doctor arrested in Denver Deaths
UPDATES TO FOLLOW - Dr. Edwin Steen - a celebrated Seattle doctor and ex-husband of heiress Bree Van Mark - was arrested outside a downtown Denver hotel tonight in connection to the deaths of at least 11 people. Details are still sketchy, but sources say Steen put up a struggle before being taken away. We will update you as details become available
August 04 - Chocolate Beer
Aug 04 - AP - Correction
It was earlier reported that noted physician Dr. Edwin Steen was arrested in connection to the 11 deaths in Denver. After the suspect was apprehended, it was discovered that the suspect was carrying Dr. Steen's stolen driver's license. At this time, there is no connection between Dr. Steen and the deaths in Colorado.
Aug 04 - Quintesson Update
>** This voice only feed is static filled, as if it was done just outside Quintesson territory **
- Me Grimlock engaged invasion force alone, Me Grimlock was testing what we up against. Enemy is weak, just many. Me Grimlock am able to handle most Shark-mouth nibblers. Me Grimlock kill hundreds all alone. rest of planet should be able to kill dozens apiece with me Grimlock help. Grimlock calling all Dinobots, all who considered great warriors, Me calling medics, me calling everyone who think it time we send uninvited guests back to motel 6 nebula them came from. Me not care if you Autobot, Decepticon, Me not even care you humans. You think you brave and can fight. Me bring you to fight of century. You come me Grimlock staging area. refu.. ref-u-gee camp. We push back fish faces and five faces first. then me Grimlock show you how make them leave. You help.
>** The feed dies just as soon as it appeared**
Aug 05 - Quintesson Invasion
>**This broadcast is static filled, due to the world wide communication troubles.**
Interrogator appears on a world news program. He is at stiff military attention as he says, "Cobra Commander has ordered me to oversee Cobra's involvement in fighting the Quintessons. We are willing to share all intelligence we have gathered and any future intelligence as it becomes available. Should G.I. Joe or any Cybertronians wish to collaborate on this project, you may contact myself or any Tele-Viper available. This situation is my highest priority. Thank you."
Aug 05 - Emergency Supply Relief Drop
As part of their assistance in the collaboration to stop the Quintession forces, Autobot forces have been spotted on a daring mission flying over Los Angeles, dropping parachuting supply crates into known resistance areas.
- Cut to a rough video of a very garishly painted Hercules flying through heavy air fire. An engine explodes and the camera fuzzes out for a moment before stabilizing. The rear hatchway of the Hercules is wide open, and bright flares were shooting out of its' body and exploding in attempts to divert heat seeking missiles and other anti aircraft away from it as crates fell out with parachutes, dropping quickly to the smoky ground below. Not all of them made it.
OOC - The crates were planned to drop over known resistance areas and hidden refugee zones. In it are medical supplies, some food and some Autobot-built super-communicators that should (most of the time) break through the jamming field, allowing contact with the outside world.
Aug 05 - L.A. Extraction
TO: Ranks 6 and higher
DATE: August 5, 2013
- The extraction was successful. Angel was severely wounded, but is recovering well. Although the losses to personnel were slightly higher than I expected, the assistance by the Autobot Reverb and the Decepticon Nightlash helped keep the losses low. Wiretap managed to plant one of the video bugs on a Sharkticon, with assistance from the G.I. Joe Lowdown. The Red Cross is handling the civilians we rescued.
Aug 06 - Unofficial Sources 2
A splash-screen reading 'News Alert' flashes across most of the major news-hosting channels as a female anchor's voice speaks over the feed. "Shocking first-hand footage of an evacuation in Los Angeles has been delivered to us this evening."
- The video changes from the splash-screen to an overhead view of a beleaguered Los Angeles, brought in a dual-camera feed. One side is standard hi-def, the other is an infrared feed. "Our analysts state this is brought to us by the same source that brought the dramatic feed seen just days ago." The Quintesson spiral releases a warship, which then proceeds to deposit a sled-born machine and numerous Sharkticons into discolored water off-shore. The camera then pans to a group of apparent refugees on the ground, but just briefly, before panning towards a Cobra Anaconda transport helicopter and an CH-53e which promptly transforms into Reverb.
- "We do not know all names of those involved, however what we do know is that this appears to have been a combined effort on the part of numerous factions. We will let the video roll in its unedited form." The camera pans suddenly towards the warship, which appears to be charging some sort of weapon. The whine of jet engines can be heard predominantly, coupled with a distinctly female voice from the cockpit, though it is simply from the automated systems.
- "Warning: Lock Detected. Warning: Lock Detected."
- The camera feed angles sharply as the aircraft engages the warship head on, striking the charging weapon before falling under a barrage of fire. "Droneship: Disengaged."
- Again, the view changes, this time showing a far more broad view of the Anaconda in one corner, loading refugees. Reverb in another corner taking on Sharkticons. Two other figures, human, are on the ground and can barely be seen, but a quick zoom-in shows Lowdown and Wiretap engaging some ugly turtle-looking mech (Snaptrap). The aircraft is also revealed to be a Night Raven of Cobra design, which promptly takes a spectacular hit between the two tailfins from the warship, but remains aloft to continue fighting.
- The widespread combat continues in earnest until the Anaconda helicopter pulls off the ground, followed by an escort of Mambas. The two combatant humans are no longer seen. Though, it abruptly zooms in on the Night Raven as the aircraft disappears in a spectacular ball of fire, a flame-engulfed fuselage seen streaking towards the ground.
- Text appears over the video feed: 'HOST SIGNAL LOST | | | RECOVERY SYSTEMS ACTIVATED'
- The feed cuts abruptly as the Night Raven is last seen hitting the ground, and the Quintesson warship is seen charging up a massive-looking weapon again while the Anaconda, in one corner, is hightailing it out of the city.
- The news anchor is seen. "We are working on securing more information and will keep you posted as best we can as more developments come. Thus far, officials have not commented on the identity of the crew of the downed Night Raven."
Aug 08 - Syrian troops deal blow to rebels
BEIRUT - Syrian and Cobra Unity troops ambushed a large group of rebels Wednesday trudging through what once was a secret route through a desert road northeast of Damascus, killing more than 60 fighters in a barrage of machine gun fire and leaving their bodies in the sand.
There were conflicting reports on the attack in Adra, which lies on a supply route between Damascus and rebel-held areas to the east that is often the scene of heavy clashes between the two sides. The dawn attack dealt another heavy blow to opposition troops following a string of recent regime successes.
Syrian troops have been on the offensive in the past few months in an attempt to clear out Damascus suburbs held by opposition fighters. Their strength has increased in the months following the retaking of the town of Dael in southern Syria by a combined Syrian-Cobra force.
Aug 11 - Reports from China & Russia
- Two reports are coming out of Asia with nearly identical details. A Quintesson warship appeared in the airspace above a highly populated city pursued by Decepticon fliers. One warship attacked Shanghai, China while the other attacked Moscow, Russia. Each warship deployed a devastating energy bomb, much as they did in Los Angeles almost a month ago. After clearing a sizable crater in the middle of each city, another Quintesson Spiral descended from space to take up residence in these cities. Reports from Shanghai show that two of the Decepticons entered the damaged Quintesson Warship, only to depart several minutes later. Reports from Moscow actually show that the Warship has been shot down by the Decepticons, but Sharkticon forces quickly moved to establish a perimeter around the crash and they have already commenced repair operations on it. News from Moscow ceased shortly after. There have been witnesses near Moscow, Shanghai, and even Los Angeles that have pointed out beams of light, lasting only a few seconds, occasionally shooting into the sky from the pinnacles of these Quintesson Spirals.
Aug 11 - Mugabe makes first speech since disputed Zimbabwe poll
Robert Mugabe is to deliver his first public speech since he won Zimbabwe's disputed presidential election.
8/11 - "Quintesson Escalation
The Joes rendezvous with Snarl to launch a rescue attempt for a group of civilian survivors. When they reach the city, two Quintesson Warships leave the Bellum and head out over the Pacific Ocean. A squadron of Decepticons follows the Warships.
Aug 13 - Successful Rescue
− < Field Report > −
- On Sunday evening, we launched a rescue operation to retrieve a small group of refugees in Los Angeles. I took the lead in a Hammer, accompanied by Nightingale, and Greenshirts Jenkins and Stanley. Reconnaissance confirmed that the civilians were hiding in an abandoned restaurant. We linked up with an Autobot escort, the Dinobot identified as Snarl. He accompanied the convoy to the rally point, where the Quintessons launched an ambush. The mechanized turtle transformer was there, as well. Snarl engaged the turtle, while the convoy held off the Sharkticons. Nightingale and Jenkins successfully escorted the seven civilians into a waiting APC. Snarl and the Hammer sustained heavy damage in the operation, but we made it out with zero casualties. Mission successful, but it looks like the Quintessons have started using people as bait. We'll need to start doing more thorough reconnaissance before launching further rescue attempts.
August 18 - "Autobot Broadband Chatter"
Spike has to deal with the peanut gallery.
Aug 19 - Destruction of the USS Flagg
Thanks to Nightlash's reconnaissance and her beacon, the Autobots responded to interfere with their plan. When the USS Flagg arrived on the scene, however, the Seacons raised the stakes. Piranacon attacked The USS Flagg and destroyed it. The Flagg's burnt, shattered remains rest on the bottom of the Japan Trench.
Aug 19 - Quintesson Toll
- With spirals in Los Angeles, Moscow, and Shanghai, the Quintesson forces are having a significant impact on the planet. Just as in Los Angeles, citizens of Russia and China have been rounded up by Sharkticons and their Quintesson masters, and brought into the Spirals. Earth's resistance has attained a few minor victories, but the Quintesson influence continues to spread.
- The Orange Water coming from Santa Monica has spread out into the Pacific Ocean, approximately twenty miles off shore. The water has become somewhat clearer, and exhibits a bright glow at night. Thousands of oceanic creatures have turned up dead as far out as thirty nautical miles from the Orange Water. Autopsies have identified a significant imbalance in the animals' digestive tracts, leading to malnutrition and fever.
- The most recent tragedy occurred in the waters off the northeastern coast of the Japan islands, above the Japan Trench. Decepticon and Autobot forces witnessed the Seacons at work, and attempted to intervene. The USS Flagg quickly responded to the action. The Seacons combined to form Piranacon, and in spite of the Joes' valiant efforts, the USS Flagg was sunk.
August 19 - "Attack on the Refugee Camp"
A new Quintesson adversary has arrived to wreak havoc on the refugee camp outside of Los Angeles.
August 20 - "Travelling Companion"
Aug 21 - Cobra Island Infiltration
August 22 - "Potato-Peeler"
Lifeline brings in a specialist to rebuild Ace's face.
August 22 - "Mistakes Were Made"
Spike feels responsible for a dangerous communications breakdown between the Autobots and G.I. Joe.
August 23 - "Pit Assault"
Sicarius invades G.I. Joe's base.
The Syrian government accuses rebels of using chemical weapons and warns the United States not to launch any military action against Damascus over an alleged chemical attack the week before, saying such a move would set the Middle East ablaze.
8/24 - "Attack on Offut AFB"
The Quintessons, having learned the location of the Pit, launch an assault on Offutt Air Force Base. The Autobots send Grimlock and Snarl to assist in the counter-attack, and the Decepticons take the opportunity to perform research and reconnaissance.
Aug 25 - Bounty
Rumor has it there has been offered a million-dollar bounty on a man named 'Ritter,' formerly associated with Cobra. While contact information is out there, the actual initiator of the bounty is secret.
August 25 - "Bull in a China Shop"
Aug 27 - Another Bounty
Rumour has it the president of Zimbabwe has put a bounty on the head of Major Bludd. It's not the highest bounty on Major Bludd, but it is the freshest.
Aug 27 - Imperial War Museum haunted?
Stories have been circulating that the recently-renovated Nazi Germany exhibit at the Imperial War Museum in London may be haunted. Late at night, when the museum is closed, night guards have heard someone singing near the World War Two exhibit, where a Junkers Ju-87 dive bomber, known as the Stuka and famous for the screaming sirens mounted under the wings, has been brought out of storage and placed on display. The bomber, one of only three known to survive intact, is believed to be the most intact example of its kind in the world.
Museum Curator Ian Smith described the aircraft as '...spookily well-preserved, considering it's age. It looks like you could put petrol in it, crank the engine, and fly right out the door. We're really lucky to have such a pristine aircraft.'
The ghostly singer, a female, seems to prefer pre-1950s German opera, though more recent compositions have also been heard by night guards. There have been no sightings of the alleged singer, and amateur ghost hunters have been flocking to the museum requesting access to the exhibit at night, so far without success.
August 27 - "Crosscut Report"
Crosscut reports to Prowl on the Quintesson situation.
August 29 - C'nest Pas le Poutine
August 29 - "Spike Returns to Vilnacron Station"
Spike negotiates with Dealiticus.
8/31 - "The Final Phase"
The Quintesson Sevax is being put on trial for incompetence. He allowed a Decepticon to escape captivity and damage one of their Space Bridges. In retaliation, the Quintessons have chosen to advance their plans to the final phase.
9/1/2013 - "Capturing an Alley-Viper"
Under orders from his Quintesson masters, Sicarius is hunting for prisoners to be put on trial. A patrolling squad of Alley-Vipers become his latest target.
9/1 - "Capturing Joes"
9/2 - "The Trial"
Several of Earth's defenders have been captured by the Quintessons for one of their classic show trials. Just a showy way of executing their prisoners, the Quintessons have been putting on these displays for thousands of years. This time, though, they may have picked the wrong prisoners to execute.
September 02 - "Maybe Dealiticus Will Buy Us a Few Minutes"=
Onboard Broadside, the Autobots brace for the worst.
9/3 - "Sewer Demolition"
The people of Earth have had enough of the Quintessons. The Bellum, warship of the Quintesson fleet, still dominates the ruined terrain of Los Angeles. The combined forces of Earth's defenders have concocted a daring plan to end the invasion once and for all. To prepare, a demolitions team has been sent in to weaken the foundation around the Spiral's anchor points.
9/3 - "Last Stand"
The Dweller has been lured to the Quintessons' Space Bridge Hub and has taken his revenge. The destruction has fed back through the Space Bridge network, destroying all the Spirals, save for the Bellum. Cut off from their allies, the Quintessons mount a fierce defense against Earth's last assault against them.
Sep 03 - Strange Transmissions in LA
With Internet slowly restoring and media on scene, reports have trickled in from sources both official and unofficial of a faint transmission detected during the final battle in Los Angeles, moments before the underground explosions rocked the Spire. Planted on Youtube and other sites, it was a very weak transmission, but some words were clear.
"*hisssss* map was wrong. Going to find something to shi-*cracklehisspop* blast."
A short spurt of clanking and slamming, unidentifiable really through the static "-dor 159 was the one... *interference * Remember that!" Then there was a loud BANG, and dead air.
Sep 03 - The Invasion is Over
- THE INVASION IS OVER
- That's what headlines across the world are reading today. Last night, Quintesson Spirals across the globe spontaneously destructed, leaving only the Bellum in Los Angeles standing. A heroic last assault against the Quintesson forces finally proved successful in toppling their first and most powerful stronghold. However, much is left in the wake of this tragic chapter of Earth's history. Hundreds missing, countless others dead, our water and skies poisoned. Scientists believe that, with no governing signals, the nanites that have contaminated our oceans will deactivate. The toxic cloud that had spewed into our atmosphere was mercifully brief, but research is still being conducted on the long-term effects on our atmosphere. The Cybertronians have warned us that there are still Sharkticons present in the ruins of Los Angeles, and possibly other Quintesson life. The Autobots have assured us that they will assist with recovery efforts once all threats have been taken care of.
September 09 - Brand New Face
Sep 19 - New Youtube Video
- Another video has appeared on youtube, from the GGR account known for a previous video showing soldiers dancing to The Lazy Song has reactivated... and nothing else. The new video has noted "We're all working hard to restore our lives after the invasion. Here's a little pick me up! :)
The video starts off with dramatic trumpets, and a brilliant view of an airforce base as well, before swinging around to a single soldier, dressed as a farmer, with a bandanna around his head and a cowboy hat as he stared at the camera solemnly. "I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine - I had a little stretch of land, along the CP line! But times went by and though I tried, the money wasnt there. ANd the bankers came and took my land, and told me "FAir is fair!" He turned, and the camera moved over more to another (Assumably) soldier, dressed in a suit holding a copy of the Wall Street Journal, who looks up, points and laughs at the farmer-Joe "I Looked for every kind of work, the answer always 'no!'. Hire you now? they'd always laugh, "We just let twenty go!" "Ha-ha!" "The government, they promised me a measly little sum - but I've got too much pride to wind up just another bum!"
Then he took his hat off and tossed it off screen "Then I said 'who gives a damn, if all the jobs are gone! I'm going to be a PIRATE..." then grabs the tail of his bandanna, and pulls it up, over his face, and onto his head in a classic 'pirate bandanna' style "On the river Saskatchewaaaaaan! ARRRRR!" And then a half dozen other pirate-dressed men and women, one with an eyepatch, one with TWO eye patches and all with cardboard cutlasses and pitchforks come rushing out of nowhere.
"And its a Heave-ho! Hi-Ho! coming down the plains! Stealing wheat and b-ARRRRley, and all the other grains! It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors hen ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores!" A round of 'ARRRS' and cutlass swinging happened then as they all charged off screen again, one leading the double-eyepatched one along. The scene cut now to them standing in an inflatable military life raft, with the original farmer-pirate standing posed like George Washington in the famous picture of him on the Delaware! In the background behind them stood what appeared to be a RCMP officer in red jacket and hat.
- "Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large, But just the other day I found an unprotected barge! I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser -I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer! A bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river! Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a'quiver, "He clutched his stomach as though in fear. "Cause they know that Tractor Jack is hidin' in the bay, I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!!" And back into the chorus again, all of them leaping out to do what they assume would be a sailors' jig, and another round of ARRRR, before they quickly all climbed back into the boat, the camera zooming in on the 'Mountie'. Sharp eyes will show that its a poster stuck to the wall of the hangar there.
"Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat! He followed on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat. But cutbacks were a'coming and the Mountie lost his job, So now he's sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob!" THe Farmer-Pirate again lifted his cutlass in a dramatic way as one of the others lifted up a banner pole with a large Pirate Flag on it, with a white Maple Leaf behind the skull and crossbones "A swingin' sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company! I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (SCREW IT!!). Sailin down to Saskatoon, the terror of the seas, If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!" And again, they leapt out of the boat to dance to the chorus again, before finally settling down, kneeing together around the boat, with Farmer Pirate inside of it again. The camera zoomed in so you could only see him and the top of the raft.
Well, Pirate life's appealing but you just don't find it here, I hear in North Alberta there's a band of buccaneers! They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay, And you're gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way!" The cowboy hat flew by his head and out of the frame again, and he swayed suddenly, the entire picture moving and shifting. "Well, winter is a'comin' and a chill is in the breeze! My Pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze! I'll be back in springtime but now I have to go... " he paused, and glanced sit so die and lifted his hand to 'whisper' "I hear there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico!~"
And it zoomed back out again, showing the other soldiers carrying the raft as the chorus was sung one last time.
"Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains! Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains! It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors, When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores!"
Song found here. Sadly, no video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuGGNsE3_8Y
Sep 17 - Official Press Release
The US government has declared that though the enemy alien invaders has been defeated, through the combined efforts of the GI Joe and their allies both official and unofficial, the state of emergency remains. With Los Angeles and several other cities across the globe in ruins, rebuilding will take time and there is already a massive movement to acquire temporary housing, clean water and medical supplies amongst other things. Relief efforts are already underway, and the US has extended some assistance to Japan, Russia and other countries while working to take care of its' own.
"After all, we're all in this together. Its a pity we can't work together like this for the common good all the time. We'd have those Decepticons out in no time."
Words on a memorial service and potential monument is still in the works, as one official said the living need to come first.
24 September 2013 - "Cheap Wheels"
Oct 06 - Relabelling at the PIT
Someone has gone about and painstakingly relabelled (With magnetic printable labels) all the two-drawer filing cabinets in the PIT:
The original labels have NOT been removed, just peeling of the new one reveals the old one.
October 10 - Shattered Glass Finale
October 10 - "Slipstream takes Ace to lunch!"
Ace and Slipstream banter at the base.
October 12 - "Go Get Some Kaff"
October 14 - Roast WHAT??
The menu board at the PIT's mess hall now says
TODAYS SPECIAL ROAST BEAST And POTATOES 7.99
October 21 - "The Plan"
With the Decepticons' energy reserves in Polyhex destroyed, they need a new way to supplement raids, and fast. Scrapper has worked out plans to build a super-reactor on Cybertron, but he needs energy, equipment, and fissionable materials. To that end, Decepticons are staging raids on nuclear power plants. The Autobots must stop them, not only to keep the Decepticons from getting a new source of energy, but also to keep them from causing an accidental nuclear meltdown.
Oct 30 - Potato Pit
Someone mailed about two hundred potatoes to various GI Joes and service men around the Pit and air force base above. Each one is hand lettered with a sharpie with more than enough postage to get them to their destination. A few unfortunately, also got slightly squished.
- 11 Nov - Mild panic began to spread in the US as Nightlash engaged two Junkions, Sit-Com and Benin-Jeri, making liberal use of her higher-yield payloads and causing explosions to be heard for miles. In the end, the fight was a draw and Nightlash disengaged, claiming the test-run of her new armament a success.
Nov 11 - Breaking News Tonight
The Global News Network logo splashes across the screen to dramatic intro music as regular broadcasting is interrupted. A female news anchor is seated at the desk, a small window just over her shoulder showing a smoking crater in some town, USA.
"Breaking news. Reports are flying in of an attack on US soil. Earlier tonight, an unidentified aircraft opened fire over a rural farming town outside of Silver Creek, Nebraska. No military agency has released whether or not training exercises were taking place, but the footage being supplied by local residents indicates serious firepower was used."
Cut to a woman from the area, gesturing off-camera. "And I heard this sound, like 'rat-a-tat-tat-tat', only louder, and it shook my windows. I've heard gunshots, this was like hearing thousands of them at once."
Back to the news-room. "We are working to get an official statement from local and state authorities on the matter. The initial eye-witness reports, however, only tell of a black jet-craft departing the area. Any other details are, at this time, vague."
The camera pulls back. "For GNN, this is Rebecca Sanders. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program already in progress."
Nov 18 - Missed Connections
This odd one has been making the rounds online after being posted in one of the now-functional LA newspapers:
You: An unknown entity with a knowledge of military Morse code. Me: A US soldier stuck underground after the alien attack being chased by robot alligators. Email me at *email blurred out except on original page*
Nov 21 - Homicide in Medicine Hat
Many Canadian news outlets, especially those in Alberta, report that a long-haul trucker has died after a major accident on the freeway near Medicine Hat. The trucker was airlifted to the nearest hospital, but succumbed to his injuries only hours later. Law enforcement is investigating this as a possible homicide, as a cinderblock was discovered in the truck's front compartment.
If these reports are confirmed, it's the first death-by-cinderblock in Medicine Hat since 1974. Area juveniles are currently being questioned; however, no solid leads have yet been revealed.
Nov 26 - Desert Drawing in Texas
Local news stations in northern Texas are abuzz with a story about art in the desert. It seems that a free spirited artist used a car to draw a giant image in the dirt of the flat dry plains.
- A picture taken from the air shows the roughly drawn image; it's clearly supposed to be Optimus Prime drop-kicking Megatron in the face*
No one has claimed responsibility for the art.
Dec 02 - Military raid in Chicago
Details are kept under strict wraps, but eyewitnesses in one part of Chicago has reported that the military staged a full out raid on a nondescript café. No injuries were reported beyond a few cases of inhalation of tear gas that drifted downwind. Representatives have not returned calls however, but some believe that it was an ambush to catch known terrorists.
Dec 15 - Shocking Daniel News!
Perhaps not surprisingly, Daniel Witwicky has his own website and fan club on social media, which consists of many, mostly female (and a few male) followers from around the world. This has been going on for many years, and while it puzzles Daniel that he has such a following and he isn't even an entertainer, he tries to remain in contact with them to let them know what's going on nonetheless.
Recently, tabloids began to circulate the rumor that Daniel had gone from looking like a boy of 13 to a young man of 20, virtually overnight! Daniel's social media sites remained strangely quiet on the matter, up until today.
Today, Daniel posted several 'selfies', taken against a nondescript grey wall, where it indeed appears that he now looks approximately 20 years old! His features, no longer childish, are unmistakable. Shortly after these photos appear, Daniel posts the following:
"No, this isn't a Photoshop joke or some kind of crazy trick. This is definitely for REAL, and it's something that happened to me very recently, following the closing of one of the dimensional portals near Autobot City. I woke up this way the next morning. Right now, there doesn't seem to be any way to reverse what has happened, so I have to move on with my life. I'm really very sorry to my friends in the magnet school -- you know who you are. I can't go back there for obvious reasons. You mean more to me than I can put into words, and it hurts me to have to leave like this."
"So what now? Now, I'm planning for college. I've been accepted to several great programs, but my choice has been made: I'm headed to the University of Oregon (go Ducks!!). Yeah, it's a new thing for me. I know I'll lose some friends over this, because some people like the 'old me' better. That's okay. But change is a part of life, and now I've got to discover who this 'new me' is. Please wish me luck. Sincerely, Daniel Witwicky."
Dec 19 - Christmas Spirit in the Pit
IN addition to the traditional artificial fir tree in the off duty lounge of the pit, someone has set up another tree in the medical department, a smaller one made with various colors of latex gloves, inflated and attached to a pole to create a Christmas-tree shape, and hung ornaments on it.
Dec 31 - Global Celebrations
More than a few videos are showing up in the social media world of fireworks to celebrate the new year. However, the reason for the footage is not the fireworks themselves, but rather the apparent similarities between the Cobra Night Raven aircraft that appears to be launching them. Conspiracy theorists are having a field day with it, and speculations are all over the place. What everyone can agree on, though, is that every bit of footage from around the globe ringing in the new year has an aircraft with the same tail number in each shot.
That, and the fireworks were very festive.
In 2013 Bumblebee befriended the Decepticon Jetfire . Jetfire agreed to act as a double agent to the Autobots. While speaking with Jetfire and Bumblebee, Ultra Magnus volunteered to give up his own life in a staged fight with Jetfire to ensure Jetfire would rise in the Decepticon ranks. Jetfire reluctantly agreed and told Ultra Magnus to have the Autobots abandoned their current base to make it look like Jetfire "discovered" their last remaining base of operations.
While in battle with Jetfire, Megatron intervened. While confronted with Megatron's arm cannon, Ultra Magnus noticed that the Matrix of Autobot Leadership was encased in Megatron's cannon. Magnus communicated this to Jetfire secretly. Jetfire then fatally shot Magnus straight in his laser core. Megatron, elated with Jetfire's performance, promoted him to Air Commander. Once Megatron departed, a grieving Jetfire carried Ultra Magnus to the Temple of Knowledge and placed Ultra Magnus' body in the same secret room that contains the tombs of Alpha Trion and Optimus Prime.
Con World Logs
- October - "A Chance Encounter" - A young Decepticon scientist travels to Cybertron, shaken by what he has seen on Earth. He hopes to find peace on the metal world, but a chance encounter with a small Autobot leads to his entire world view being altered.
- October - "The Second Meeting" - Bumblebee and Jetfire meet again. The young Decepticon asks to learn more of Optimus Prime, and gives Bumblebee an idea on how to save the remaining Autobots.
- October - "The Gift of Trust" - Jetfire and Bumblebee meet for the third time, and Jetfire asks Bumblebee for something he can give to Megatron to curry favor with the Decepticon Leader.
- October - "A Difficult Decision" - Jetfire is brought to a meeting with the leaders of the Autobots. There he outlines the plan he and Bumblebee have come up with. Gradually, the group comes to a sobering realization; someone must die to ensure the future of the Autobots.
- October - "A Hero's Sacrifice" - Jetfire and Ultra Magnus carry out their desperate plan.
- October - "Pit Fight" - Sky Lynx is brought into the arena to once again fight of the amusement of Megatron and his warriors.
- November - "A Final Run Through" - Bumblebee, Jetfire, and a skeptical Springer meet to go over the final plans of a daring raid that will do nothing less but provide either a fighting chance against their Decepticon oppressors, or give the remaining Autobots a permanent resting place.
- November - "Escape to Nebulos" - Megatron and Shockwave attempt to stop the Autobots once and for all as Bumblebee and Springer lead a wounded, ragtag bunch to the Space Bridge.
Witwicky What If? Universe
- What If...Sparkplug said "No"? : Sparkplug makes a quick decision to not help the Autobots after getting rescued by the Autobots. Sparkplug stands by the decision, but his decision has lifetime implications for Spike.
- The Author and The Mechanic - Sparkplug's decision in 1984 not to help the Autobots causes a major rift between Spike and his father. In addition to sapping Spike's drive, it also causes him to drift off into daydreams, which results in a costly mistake for Sparkplug's business. But Sparkplug's decision yields some positive results, mainly with the youngest Witwicky, who emerges from his debilitating shyness in his early years to become a published author.