User blog:Sydneygb/Major Bludd's Personal Journal: 16 July 2018

"...our inner selves become separate or splintered parts of our psyche as the result of trauma."

If that's so, my inner self must look like a crystal bowl after somebody's dropped it down the stairs. I don't really want to enumerate those things but I guess that's kind of what this book is for. I can always burn it when I'm done.

"When trauma occurs in our early years that memory breaks off and lodges in our unconscious. There it can become repressed hidden and forgotten [sic] but it never completely disappears. Trauma is often too toxic to remember so we develop psychological defences to keep them separated from our core Self."

Was this book self-pubbed? Somebody needs a proofreader. Anyhow. I'm familiar with the concept of separating stuff to protect yourself from traumatic memories. I'm also familiar with the concept of compartmentalisation as a soldier. The whole idea of dehumanising your opponent on the battlefield so you can kill him without feeling terrible about it. That's probably at the heart of this feeling like two people in one body. One compartmentalises easily, the other one is largely incapable of it. I did it after Mum died. I kind of had to. I did it when Dad crawled into the bottom of a bottle, only coming out to yell at me or occasionally give me a swat or a proper beating. It didn't happen that often, but I did learn not to run. When he had to chase me Dad was always a lot angrier. And he hit harder.