Funeral For a ... Friend?

Funeral For A … Friend?

Carly's House The first floor has a kitchen with some tables, a bathroom, a living room, a den, some hallways, and a dining room. Around the bends, some toys of Daniel's are scattered. The upstairs has four bedrooms; a master bedroom for Carly and her boyfriend Cain, Daniel's room, a play room, and of course a guest room.

Buster Witwicky has arrived. Buster Witwicky appears. (Invited by Carly Banas)

Carly Banas finishes up putting her bags of 'Dillards' 'Younkers' and 'GAP' in her room.

The place is set up for both a funeral and a post-funeral gathering. A few stragglers come in, including Ron (wearing jeans and a barely passable business casual shirt) and a perterved Judy. Carly made sure her boss is there to see her emotional wreckage (and as a result, hopefully more time off). The minister looks over Spike's bio and shakes his head, muttering "How do I even start..."

Sparkplug is wheeled in by a nursing home aide. His decades-old muscular mass has now turned into a shapeless blob in the wheelchair as a dialysis machine is in tow.

Carly Banas wipes something from her eyes and politely serves people appetizers, but not before making sure the Air Supply 'All By Myself' and 'My Heart Will Go On' will be played JUST at the right moment.

Buster Witwicky sneaks in, wearing an overcoat over an athletic shirt and jeans. The jeans have a fresh iron burn mark, and unpatched hole. Buster's hair is long and shaggy, and he's lost over half his body weight since anyone here has seen him last. He also reeks of cheap alcohol.

The reverend gets up and motions people to sit. "Ladies and gentleman, we are here today to honor the memory of Spike Witwicky. Father, husband...friend."

Now he starts to lose the thought process. "Uh...as a minister, I think it's JUST as important to mourn the person who this person MAY have become as the person who has passed. Which...is especially suited for Spike's case." He gestures to Carly. "Just today, she told me about how, even though Carly is happily living a life with Cain, Spike and Carly were going to start going to church on Sundays with their beautiful son, Daniel..."

Carly Banas nodnods and looks like she's trying to have a rather large bowel movement and she nods, shaking her head and burying her face in her hands. He boss, next to her smiles patiently and pats her back.

The minister smiles politely. "And now...a song, specifically chosen by his wife." With that, the opening chords of 'All By Myself' play. The minister hears the opening chords and makes a slight face like he just smelled something rotten, but he quickly recovers, giving a slight 'is this appropriate?' look to Carly.

Judy closes her eyes and massages her temples.

When the song ends, he gestures everyone to stand up. "So...with that, we entrust Spike to the mortal remains of our world. Yes, he battled his demons, but we can take solace in knowing that that battle has ended - and has hopefully brought Spike the peace that eluded him in this world." He then leads the people in prayer. Carly seems to be doing the crying for everyone there.

In the back, Buster sways slightly. Thus far he's remained quiet, listening and watching with bloodshot eyes. More stalker than rockstar.

Ron nods his head in reverence and then kindly squeezes Judy's butt. Judy then raises her arm in repulsion. "Dammit, Ron!" she whispers.

The minister smiles kindly. His $500 is made. "This concludes the ceremony. There are refreshments, and a few libations in the den if you would like to stay and ..uh..share...stories with one another and heal."

Buster Witwicky's eyes are hallow (even moreso than usual), and he seems to be staring into space, quietly reliving his own flashbacks to Spike's life.

Carly urges everyone inside the den, saying "I...I think...we all need to go around in a circle and tell stories of Spike." About 8 of the 10 people there make a 'oh god, not that' face. The other two - Ron - too stoned to react. Sparkplug, too uncaring to react.

Buster Witwicky stays in the quickly-emptying main room, staring at the coffin. Daniel raises a hand. "Oh! Two Christmases ago, dad surprised mom and Cain by coming over for Christmas - He gave me 'The Hangover' and 'Grand Theft Auto 4' - oh, and Eminem!' " Daniel grins "That was the best fuckin' Christmas ever!"

Carly looks over at Daniel. "Oh, honey, we don't say that!" Carly Banas thinks ooo "Only one more day until he goes back to the boarding school"

Ron looks over at the coffin and tilts his head. "No way..." he walks over to Buster. Almost 15 years ago, he was the one who heard the pleas of Spike and Buster but opted to do nothing for fear of police questioning. He grins and pats Buster on the back, using the same nickname as he was when Buster was 9. "Heyah, lil' dude!" He grins and takes his fist and playfully 'mock' punches Buster's stomach (like Cousin Eddie in Christmas Vacation) 'boomboomboom!'" He then pats Buster's shoulder. "In all seriousness, lil dude, I'm sorry 'bout your brother." Carly's boss can only smile. He NEEDS Carly back at work, but unfortunately, this doesn't seem the time to ask..." One of Spike's former coworkers for an oil factory refinery perks up, thinking he should say something for the free grub. "You always know where you stood with Spike...he always told you where he stood with you!"

Carly Banas nodnods. She laughs, then tries to cry. "So true! so true!"

Buster Witwicky slowly turns his head to look at Ron, bearly reacting to the mock-punching. Judy continues to stew, sipping her wine. GAME: Buster Witwicky FAILS an INTELLIGENCE roll of Average difficulty.

Buster Witwicky says, "Whatr the fuck you talkin' bout?" Carly Banas looks at the coffin, too stunned to respond at first, then spotting Buster. "Buster! I...thought you'd never come! It's so good to see you!" Buster Witwicky turns his empty gaze to Carly. He squints slightly. Buster Witwicky says, "You? Got gots some nerve bein' here. Bitch." Carly Banas flinches, then she looks at the minister. "Everyone..handles...loss in a different way."

Buster Witwicky says, "Yeah, you gold-diggin' slut? You find some way to wring something out else my poor dead brother?"

Through his jowls, Sparkplug barely registers a menacing grin to his failure of a son. He slowly raises his arm and makes a 'come here' gesture to Buster. Though the physical threat of Sparkplug has long since passed, the psychological damage may still strike some fear into Buster.

Carly Banas frowns and says "THIS...is a celebration, for your brother. I cooked the h'our derves, I opened my home up..."

Buster Witwicky doesn't even fully register the presence of his dad yet. Buster Witwicky looks around, as if not even sure where he is.

Sparkplug, too weak to speak, continues to make a 'coming' gesture at Buster. GAME: Buster Witwicky PASSES an INTELLIGENCE roll of Average difficulty.

Buster Witwicky notices his dad at last, and rears back, running into Ron Buster Witwicky says, "The fuck! You ain't dead yet?" Buster Witwicky sways dangerously, looking ready to fall into the empty coffin any moment.

If there is one constant in both universes, it may be in Judy, who actually has Buster's back on this one. "He's right, Carly. I mean, you force us to relive the good moments in his life, but for the last 15 years, he's brought us nothing but misery!" Ron moseys on over to help Buster. "Woah! Easy lil' dude!" Buster Witwicky says, "Yeah! And Carly was a BITCH to him when he was alive. Bitch!" Buster Witwicky starts spouting the foulest obscenities imaginable, probably impressing Daniel Sparkplug shoots a menacing grin at Buster - as much as he's out of it - he does recognize he can still strike the fear of god into his kids, a great mark of a dad. Daniel grins and looks over at Carly. "Yeah, mom, you're a BITCH!" Carly Banas closes her eyes. GAME: Carly Banas PASSES an INTELLIGENCE roll of Very High difficulty.

You say, "Say what you want about me...I can handle it. Today is about Spike!" (turns out she can lie with the best of 'em)"

A slight man, slightly hunched over, emerges from Ron and comes into plain view. He's in his 60s, balding. He gestures to Buster. "When you're done, may I say somethin'..." Buster Witwicky sways slightly, and interrupts his tirade about Carly's sexual practices, and what animals they involve. "Yes?" he glowers at the old man.

The man nods politely. "I knew Spike about ten years ago. He was working at Arby's - and his was about to lose his house and little Daniel was on the way. I was able to get him a job at Exxon. Full union benefits. Making $50,000 a year. All he had to do was just keep an eye on twelve monitors and hit a button if one got in the red. ...and not come to work drunk. What does he do his third week at work, come in reeking of rum." He shakes his head. "Made me look like a fuckin' jerk in front of MY boss. You think my boss ever listened to me again when it came to recommending a new hire?!" The older man shakes his head and then goes back to munching on a few smokies.

Sparkplug lifts his head up from his hunched position and gestures Buster over. Sparkplug's orderly looks on at his rapidly declining patient in concern. Judy shakes her head and pours another glass of wine. Totally fed up with the waste of it all. Buster Witwicky sways trying to focus his attention on his dad. He stumbles over. Buster Witwicky says, "What the fuck do you want, old man?"

Sparkplug makes one more motion as he barely has enough strength to speak. This could be his last words he ever mutters to his son. An apology? A gesture at comfort? "Bus...ter.." he motions to his lips for a barely audible whisper - so Buster can hear what he has to say. Buster Witwicky leans down to hear what his dad has to say. Sparkplug points a shaky hand to the coffin. "Should...have...been...you...it should..have..bb..been yy..you...not Ss..Spike."

Buster Witwicky says, "You old bastard!" Buster Witwicky tries to swing a punch at his old man. GAME: Buster Witwicky PASSES a DEXTERITY roll of Average difficulty. GAME: Buster Witwicky PASSES a STRENGTH roll of Average difficulty. With that, the crowd of eight move in to prevent Buster from going nuclear. Sparkplug tumbles out of his wheelchair, moaning. Carly Banas 's eyes widen in anger. "Buster, get the fuck out before I call the cops!" Daniel grins. "Yeah! Kick his ass, unc' Buster!" Buster Witwicky punches his dad in the face with a lifetime of built-up rage. Buster Witwicky says, "Fuck yeah!"

Ron, being the one most able to stand up to Buster quickly taps his shoulder. "Uh...easy lil' bro!" \ Buster Witwicky turns his wild gaze to Ron. Buster Witwicky says, "Oh, come on! Tell me you haven't always wanted to do that!" Sparkplug flails around like a beached orca. "Oh god...oh no! Please, someone help! Please, someone help!" - not knowing what's his beef.

Ron shakes his head. "No, dude! I've never wanted to hurt anyone!" Buster Witwicky's angry gaze narrows. "You're lucky I don't give you one, too."

The minister, shaking in panic, Carly, and Sparkplug' orderly try to lift Sparkplug's doughy body back into his wheelchair. Buster Witwicky turns to try to kick his dad while he's down, before they can lift him back up.

GAME: Buster Witwicky FAILS a DEXTERITY roll of Average difficulty. Judy looks over at Buster, perhaps out of all of them, she can identify with him, even though she has plenty of blood on her hands as she was complacent as well. "Buster...honey - it's not worth it." She gestures him over. "Have a drink..." She says "You know...out of everyone here, Spike loved you the most, I KNOW it in my heart."

GAME: Buster Witwicky FAILS an AGILITY roll of Average difficulty.

Carly gets out of the way, but the orderly and the minister, perhaps for sheer obligation, are stuck shielding the pathetic Sparkplug from Buster's wrath. "Son...please!" the minister pleads.

Buster Witwicky flails his foot at Sparkplug, but can't get in a kick with all the people in the way. Instead he falls on his ass, knocking over several folding chairs and a vase of flowers. Sparkplug clutches his heart. "Oh my poor heart...oh my poor heart!" he moans.

Judy, not giving a shit about Sparkplug, kneels down in front of Buster. "Easy...easy - just - have a drink. Just try and remember the good things that Spike did!"

Judy frowns "And if you can't think of any - well, then maybe it's a relief that someone who brought so little joy in our lives is finally at rest!" GAME: Buster Witwicky FAILS an INTELLIGENCE roll of Average difficulty. Buster Witwicky scowls, and slaps the drink away. "Get away from me, c__ ." Carly's boss sits in a corner, utterly terrified of the entire situation.

Ron says in a tone he hopes Buster won't hear, but still tries to direct it at him to appease his wife. "Uh...lil' dude...not cool - at all." GAME: Buster Witwicky FAILS an INTELLIGENCE roll of Average difficulty. Buster Witwicky tries to stagger to his feet, flailing his arms belligerently. Sparkplug looks up at his orderly. "You saw that...I didn't do anything...he just attacked me fer no goddamn reason..."

Carly's boss says sheepishly at Carly "I better go..." With that, he rises and tries to tiptoe to the exit, hoping not to be a victim of a Buster lunge. Buster Witwicky's rage is unfocused at the moment, and it's all he can do to stay on his feet. During one time when Buster gets to his knee, Carly's boss bolts out. Carly, muttering "fuck this shit" - goes to the kitchen to call the cops.

The hustle and bustle of the incident has caused three 'useable' photos of Spike to be strewn on the carpet - one - Carly and Spike's wedding photo, one - a worse for the wear, but still proud pop, Spike at Daniel's birth, and another wedding photo of a barely dressed up Buster with Spike. GAME: Buster Witwicky FAILS an INTELLIGENCE roll of Average difficulty.

Buster Witwicky's usual cop-sense fails, and he stares down at the pictures on the floor, calming briefly. Carly Banas a pissed off Carly has dialed 9-1, but pauses at the '1' as she looks at Buster's expression with the photos.

Buster Witwicky mutters to himself, "You... could have..." Judy leans over to Buster "I'm sorry...what did you say?"

Buster Witwicky looks over at Judy, and it's clear he has tears in his bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry," he slurs. "I have to go." He stumbles blindly for the door.