User blog:Sabels/Int 7-31-2018

"Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it" George Santayana

My ribs were bothering me but I smoked a joint before I took my tours for the evening up and felt okay. I didn't go out at night and stayed home before work to come to terms with The Fall of Borovia. I do not regret leaving my family behind because they chose not to follow the evacuation plan and prized material goods abover their own lives. I've had slight feeling of regret about it occasionally, but I realize that was stupid. They made their (death?)beds and are lying in them. I never received confirmation of their deaths, but I believe it is a safe assumption. I realized most of my issues with leaving Borovia dealt with leaving my first love and wife, Melina. It was an utter betrayal and one of the hugest disappointments of my life. I thought she was better than the rest of my family, but she too didn't follow the evacuation plan and prized material goods above me. It was personal with her because she chose the goods over me, and I thought she was my soul mate. I also know that is why I went along with suppressing my sexuality with women for so long. Men weren't even on my radar like that until recently. I repressed a lot about my self during those years in Borovia, more than I thought I did. I also repressed more about Russia than I thought I did, but that's the next stage to get through - my time as Serji's aide in the KGB.