User blog:Spikewitwicky/April 7, 2018 - Spike's Journal Entry



I'm still at the Ark, but more and more, it's a given that in a week or two, I'll be sleeping in our bed in Autobot City. Megan can't wait. And I can't say I blame her. After an entire city to run around in, and places that feel like a human living area, the Ark has to feel like going to your grandpa or grandma's house that doesn't have wireless, they still are using VHS, and for entertainment, you may have a few old coloring books from the '70s, that have been mostly been used by your now much-older aunts and uncles.

Dust Devil and Red were there last night. Dust Devil played a prank on Red (big surprise). But it was actually a good-natured one. He just adjusted everything in his room to minutely change - like maybe 2.3 centimeters. Red Alert actually laughed (actual big surprise, not sarcastic).

I showed Dusty the schematics for prject Super Fort. He seemed to like it. Red signed on, at least partially. But I made the mistake of spilling the beans on my PROPOSED name. Dusty gleefully tore the name apart. Look, I KNOW it won't be named "Super Fort" - that just seems to be the name that sticks right now.

Anyway, don't ask me how, but some way, we started talking about trust again. Red criticized me for being too naive (I'll take that). But I keep saying sometimes, you don't have all the facts present. At these VERY common times, you have to rely on instinct of some sorts, and go with your 'gut.' Red said he made that mistake once. And it cost him several friends.

And then, it was like a watershed moment for me afterword. I could barely get to sleep. All of a sudden, Red went from this hyper-paranoid (albeit very capable) security officer with a diagnosible mental illness (like autism and OCD) to someone whose actions you could actually tie back to some sort of terrible event. Not to dimish what these people go through by any stretch, but when I was away from the Autobots, or even earlier, on the oil rig, or working for Blackrock, I'd sometimes work with not the best people in the world. Some had been in jail. But some where just genuine "assholes" or "pricks." They didn't have a backstory. They were just...mean, or "a dick."

I honestly put Red in that category. He's paranoid. He's condescending. But in my opinion, he was just "Red" - he probably needs to be diagnosed, but right now, he's not really harming anyone. And there's been plently of TV shows like House where the main character has a mental condition, BUT that mental condition is also tied in with what makes them so brilliant. You can't have one without the other.

But apparently, there was an "other" Red, existing somewhere a very long time ago. Literally millions of years before we even became a species. I don't know this Red. And after more than 30 years of living with the Autobots, I only found out that this Red even existed. I'm guessing it will take another 30 years to even scratch the surface of what happened with him, given how closed off Red is.