Deadline (SG)

"Don't squirm. This is all just part of the job."

The illegitimate product of a politician's illicit tryst with his young intern, Eddie Skeeve grew from a selfish young pervert into a grown-up version. A self-professed sadist, Eddie gets a huge kick out of inflicting pain upon people, and so he went into the medical field to learn the best possible ways to do just that. Carries a Heckler & Koch USP, along with surgical implements that may or may not have been sanitized inside a bottle of vodka.

Description
You see a man in his late 20s - early 30s, who stands a few inches shy of 6 ft. tall, and has an average build. Despite his slightly below-average height, he seems taller at first glance, because of his rather imposing appearence.

His waist-long hair is dark, snagged into a wild, raven ponytail which hangs down his back. A 5 o'clock shadow adorns his lower face, and there's usually a lit cigarette dangling from his lip when he speaks. His wild brown eyes are partially obfuscated behind green-tinted prescription glasses. Both ears are outfitted with countless piercings, bars, and chained adornments.

He's dressed in a dull grey 'wifebeater' style tank top, which is tucked into a pair of form-fitting camo pants. Over the tank top, he wears a black leather jacket shell with the sleeves ripped out. His exposed arms are adorned with all sorts of tribal tattoos, from his biceps down to his wrists. His hands are covered with black leather fingerless 'biker' gloves. These seem to match his knee-high, black leather steel toe boots.

He also wears a fairly obvious belt holster with ammo clips, and a Heckler & Koch USP.

Canonical/Pre-MUX/Theme History:
The illegitimate product of a politician's illicit tryst with his young intern, Eddie Skeeve grew from a selfish young pervert into a grown-up version. A self-professed sadist, Eddie gets a huge kick out of inflicting pain upon people, and so he went into the medical field to learn the best possible ways to do just that.

MUX History:
Deadline recently met Buster, and realized they were kindred spirits.

Following a scientific crew to the Arctic, he found out about Professor Arkeville's discovery of the slumbering Skyfire, although he had to kill one of Arkeville's men to get close enough to see what they were doing, and was subsequently chased off.

Killing a trucker and returning with a truck, Deadline passed himself off as "Jeff Boyardee," one of Ross's men, although that alias hasn't passed further investigation.

Deadline then terrorized Lt. Bludd at a book signing.

Personality
Deadline is the evil mirror version of Lifeline.

While Deadline works for G.I. Joe, he is also an independent agent of his own choosing. Therefore, if the Joes wish to have some medical work done, they have to track him down, because he isn't particularly reliable when he's out pursuing his own pleasures. If a patient pays him enough in money, sex, or drugs, he'll use some sort of painkiller; but otherwise, he performs his work without them.

Deadline is a hedonist who enjoys being under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and so he is very frequently found in that state. It is said that he's a much nastier person when he's sober.

Despite his crude mannerisms, Eddie actually has an innate talent for his work, which has led to an excellent word-of-mouth reputation for his medical skills. This is why he's successful with an Army and freelance career simultaneously. But don't count on him for a cheerful bedside manner; he works on patients as if they were objects, as if he were a mechanic taking apart a defective car. He enjoys the challenge of fixing what's wrong with a patient, but he has no empathy for their concerns.

10/15/09: Message for the Joes and President Colton.
"Deadline reporting from the Arctic Circle. At approximately 1930 hours last evening, I trailed a scientific convoy northward, where some sort of archeological dig site was being excavated. Present at the site was Dr. Arkeville, Sephie Beller, and Dr. Over-Kill, so I knew this was probably something big. After sneaking onto one of the scientific teams, I went into the excavation site to find out what it was."

(He pauses to light up a cigarette. After taking a few drags, he continues)

"You're not gonna believe what I found. This is bigger than big; this is HUGE. On the site, encased in a glacier, was a big f-cking ROBOT. I mean...think of a skyscraper. At LEAST 50 ft. tall. Loaded down with the most AMAZING weapons. Just...I can't even describe it better than that. And if we don't act soon, these communist pinko pansies are going to own it! They'll probably put it in the Gay Museum of Father-F-kin-Cobra and put flowers on it."

(He tosses the cigarette butt behind him)

"Take it from me. This one's worth the effort. -- Oh! Before I forget...there were also some gay robots on scene. One of them looked like a...cat, and the other was a flying...thing. I'm pretty sure both of them were gay. One of them was even wearing perfume or some sh-t. Deadline out."

10/17/09: Deadline's Memorandum to General Flint.
"Man, listen up. I got the Mounties on my ass. RCMP is investigating a couple homicides. They were necessary collateral damage, okay? One of them I killed to get access to the excavation site, and the other I gacked to get access to his truck, cause news flash: it's cold as f-ck up here. I need these cops paid off...get the heat off me, and there's something in it for you. I got my hands on some premium steroids. This is the good sh-t that costs thousands per injection, and you'll be able to see the results after a couple shots. Lemme know if it sounds like a fair trade." "Gotta go; I need to get the semi parked in a better place. Deadline out."

The Gatecrasher
Deadline attacks Lieutenant Bludd at a book signing

11/08/09: Deadline Visits Spike
(Warning: LANGUAGE/Mature Situations) Deadline pays a house call to Spike Witwicky to confirm if there really is a transforming robot residing at the residence, and he gets a bit more than he bargained for. 

11/10/09: Report From Pit
(Eddie is reporting from the dank stankhole that is the Pit Infirmary. Behind him is Barbecue (SG), bandaged from head to toe in bloody bandages, like a mummy)


 * 1) "Hey, kids. I'm BAAACK. Didja miss me? First thing I'd like to say is directed to my medical staff -- you know who you are. You're a bunch of retarded jackasses. Thanks to you, we nearly lost another patient. AGAIN. Good thing I came in when I did. How many times I gotta tell you bungholes?! Don't use bandages that have been PREVIOUSLY USED. Duh!"

(He lights a cigarette, puffs it a few times, then continues)

"Anyhow, listen up. While I was in Seattle last weekend, I found something incredible. One of my clients has a transforming robot holed up in his garage. And NO, I'm not tripping. I got the street address if you wanna check it out. It's legit. The robot's name is Goldbug (SG), and he's disguised as a VW Bug. Don't try to take him on alone; he'll try an' fry you." (Eddie shows off his slightly burned hand) "Just sayin'. And then you'll hafta come see me, which I know is a thrillin' experience for everyone involved. ...That's really all I got for now. Deadline out."

11/16/09: Operation Casanova
Fueled with confidence from his latest discoveries, Eddie has decided that his next conquest will be Spike's ex-wife and Cain's current paramour, Carly Banas (SG).

Players
Deadline is a TP character. Lifeline is playing him, and he is one of the break-out stars of the MUX's version of the Shattered Glass universe.