User blog:Kadjem/IC Journal Entry: Scarlett - The Rules part 1

RULE 1: Never Piss off Snake-Eyes when he has a Sword in his hand.

RULE 2: Ignore any and all strange noises coming from Clutch's Quarters.

RULE 3: Always listen to Shana, it'll keep you alive.

RULE 4: When Beach Head is down wind of you, feel happy, when he is upwind, you know where he is, so you can get away faster.

RULE 5: Never bet against Ace in Poker, or the Air.

RULE 6: If Airtight is running from a room, STAY OUT!

RULE 7: If Duke says jump, Try to jump to the moon.

RULE 8: If it hisses like a Cobra, looks like a Cobra or used to be a Cobra, trust it not.

RULE 9: NEVER turn down one of Roadblock's meals, or his assistance in battle. Either way you'll miss something awesome.

RULE 10: When at a loss for words, yell Yo Joe!

RULE 11: When Snake-Eyes speaks (Yes, it happened ONCE), HIDE. Something bad is about to happen to a small Country.

RULE 12: Never bring a sword to a gun fight, unless you are a ninja. (Or a Ninja in training)

RULE 13: Never bring a Gun to a sword fight, unless you are NOT a Ninja, or a ninja in training.

RULE 14: If you have to ask if you can be a ninja, chances are, you can not.

RULE 15: 4:30 AM Hand-to-Hand Combat courses are good for Discipline.

RULE 16: When invading a Terrordrom, or other Cobra Base, always know where the Ventilator shafts go. Not only might you escape, but you might see a Cobra High Command Member in the buff. (Snap pictures, so you can sell them on EBay)

RULE 17: When BATS go crazy is NOT a Reality show about Flying Mammals... it is a dangerous situation.

RULE 18: If you have been able to stump Sci-Fi, you are a nerd.

RULE 19: Just because someone looks dead, doesn't mean they are. Approach all bodies with caution... especially those of Ninjas.

RULE 20: If your deodorant is Deisel Fumes and Motor Oil, Do NOT look to Clutch as an idol. He's a Pig. We all know that, and we have come to accept HIM.... No one else is allowed to be him.

RULE 21: Never fight a Robot without Backup

RULE 22: If Cobra blames a Joe for something, it will be Snake-Eyes, 99.9999%% of the time.

RULE 23: Remember, Nothing In life is certain but Death and Taxes, and even Death has been known to make mistakes.

RULE 24: Rank is nice.... but the respect of your team mates means more than all the stars on your shoulder boards %(Hawk is worth more than all the 5 stars ever%)

RULE 25: If your team mates are running in one direction, follow, don't stop to see what is chasing them.

RULE 26: Lasers are cool, Bombs are Great, but when you really, really need to stop something in their tracks... Say it with Napalm. Or a Ninja, which ever is more available.

RULE 27: There are some jobs, even a Ninja can not do.

RULE 28: Never go off mission... without a damned good reason!

RULE 29: When Visiting your Realtives at some small town in Mid America, always bring a friend, prefferably one that can pull your butt out of the fire, when it is discovered Cobra runs the town.

RULE 30: Never Dwell on Mistakes you made last week, month, or even 20 years ago. Dwell on the Mistake you are making now, by dwelling on mistakes in the past. The past, while it sucks at time, can not hurt you near as much as the Viper Squad sneaking up on you.

RULE 31: Love your Doctor.

RULE 32: Always Listen to your Medic

RULE 33: Never allow the Mission's only medic to get hurt

RULE 34: Your Doctor is always right... if in doubt, consult Rule 3.

RULE 35: Never Crush on Snake-Eyes' Girlfriend. He gets mean.

RULE 36: The Medic is your friend.

RULE 37: Even if the Medic doesn't like you, he is your friend.

RULE 38: The Medic is *THE MOST IMPORTANT* person on any Mission

RULE 39: A Medic is like an older sister... Always on your case about something, but you still have to love them.

RULE 40: NEVER, Ever, shoot a Cobra Medic... unless he is offering to fix your wounds... especially a broken leg, with no morphine!

RULE 41: If Flint starts contemplating a Mission, Volunteer, before he volunteers you.

RULE 42: If Duke is not in the PIT, and you hear a Radio message asking for Volunteers, answer it. Duke throws the best Jungle Parties.

RULE 43: Ace won't take sucker bets.

RULE 44: If you think Cobra is around, turn down your iPod.

RULE 45: If you don't think Cobra is around, turn down your iPod.

RULE 46: Just turn the damned iPod down!

RULE 47: DVR's can record your favorite Television Shows when you are on a mission.

RULE 48: Missing a Television Show is not a valid reason to stay behind on a mission.

RULE 49: When Shipwreck gets out of the water, follow. Something nasty is coming up from the depths.

RULE 50: Never play with Fire when Barbeque is around... Wet clothing and funny smells will only follow.

RULE 51: Wash, Rinse, Repeat, Repeat, and Repeat MIGHT get the smell of Dreadnok off you.... MIGHT

RULE 52: When in Doubt about a Rule, See Rule #3

RULE 53: Some missions suck, no matter what you do. Just move on.

RULE 54: When you have to drop in on someone, HALO gets you there with a rush

RULE 55: NEVER, I can not Stress this enough, NEVER Leave your own weapons behind when you infiltrate an enemy facility. Just disguise yours to look right.

RULE 56: Action Film Physics, while nice, do not work in the real world.

RULE 57: The drink of choice, is Yo-Joe Cola

RULE 58: Cold Slither is NOT a good Band.

RULE 59: Dating a Ninja can lead to lonely nights.

RULE 60: Dating a Soldier WILL lead to Lonely Nights.