User blog:Sydneygb/Major Bludd's Personal Journal: 14 July 2018

14 July 2018

Fetched up in Switzerland finally. Happened to bump into Interrogator, which was odd. But I'm glad I did. I've passed the point where I can afford to keep all my secrets to myself. It terrifies me to let some of this out, and I know Alexander is, well, an interrogator, but I gave in. I've been going crazy, trying to make everything fit: My past with Cobra, the kidnapping of the Holograms, and how Kimber and her band mates actually accepted me, even after I'd been cruel to them. How damned hard it was to keep them safe during the occupation, and how my best efforts to prevent Cobra from becoming interested in them went awry. I need to contact Kimber somehow. I need to let her know I'm okay. Well, physically okay, anyhow.

Alexander gave me this self-help book. Taming Your Inner Dragons. It's so new agey in places it makes my teeth ache. But he believes it's worth my time, so I'll give it a shot. On a whim I picked up a copy of the Tao Te Ching while I was out buying some clothes for while I'm here. Alexander rented his room out another term for me so I'd have a place to spend some time... thinking about shit. Trying to figure out who I am, now that my life has been shaken up like a kid's Etch-A-Sketch. Always liked the Tao, though in my career I got more mileage out of Sun Tzu's book.

While I was out I also grabbed this blank book. Been a while since I put any effort into keeping a journal. Wasn't a lot of time to sit quietly and write during the occupation, really. When I wasn't busy I was exhausted. If I'm gonna turn myself around, if I'm really gonna figure all this out, I figured I'd better have a place to chronicle it all. This thing is gonna be filled with all kinds of ridiculous garbage, I can see it already. Maybe I'll burn it when this is all over.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, says the Tao Te Ching. Time to step in it.