Reunions

Log title: Reunions

Characters: First Aid, Starlock

Location: Iacon Barracks

Date: September 8, 2019

TP: None

Summary: First Aid and Starlock reunite

'''As Logged by:” First Aid

Iacon Barracks

'''Starlock would smile at First aid. "I'd like that." She'd say softly, and came up beside him. "Could tell me how we've you've been doing since I left." She'd say.'''

'''First Aid pauses. "Well you know, the chaos." He says. "Thats most of it. We've had good days and bad. Right now our biggest threat is the Fallen." he shivers. "But we've been through a lot. I've been stationed on Earth. Im very close to it, and have decided to protect its people ever since I came online again. I spent a lot of time shutdown when cybertron started losing power, and dont remember much about that. I woke up rebuilt on earth and part of a very close team dedicated to its protection- the Protectobots."'''

'''Starlock nodded as he explained, stopping, and blinking when he mentions the fallen. "...The fallen..? Your.. kidding, right?" She'd ask, not /wanting/ to believe that part of his story, pointing at him with knitted ridges... She'd shake her helm.'''

'''"..I'm glad a lot of those I knew back then are still around.. It.. would been real lonely without you since.." She'd frown, thinking back about Siegebreaker...'''

'''First Aid pauses. "Do..you believe in Primus, Starlock?" he asks. "The Fallen was one of the thirteen. Do you know the stories?" he asks, sounding almost afraid.'''

'''Starlock knits her ridges looking a bit pale. "I'm.. not very religious, I try to be realistic, with logic and science.. but I do.... Believe in those like Solus prime and the Alchemist.." She'd explain hesitantly.'''

'''"...Your not kidding." She says, rather horrified and cringing. "Oooooh sweet Solus prime you are not kidding." she'd pinch her nose bridge and start laughing nervously.'''

'''First Aid pauses. "I never used to be either until..." He says. "Until I've heard of people meeting and talking to them face to face. Stormfront and Soundwave both claim to have spoken to Primus himself. People say the Fallen is...well. Megatronus." he shivers. "I dont know if I want to believe. But its hard not to."'''

'''Starlock sighs, looking shell shocked. "Specially if the /fallen/ is running around." She'd say, knitting her ridges, looking down somberly. "...And I'm pretty sure if he's not stopped.. Harmonex isn't the only thing that will be lost again..."'''

'''Now there was a thought, a world ending scenario... She'd vring her arm up to hug herself and looked at Aid, noticing quite the change of personality.. More withdrawn.. and looked down, feeling lonely once more.'''

'''"...So um..What.. do you remember, of me?" She'd ask.'''

'''First Aid nods "Hes still running around trying to get revenge on the world for Solus Prime.." he says "He's quite mad now. But we have to stop him. We must. We've stopped Unicron himself before. We can do it again." he pauses. "I'm sorry, Starlock." he says softly. "The transition wasn't very clean. I do have corrupted memory files. I remember mostly..." he says. "I remember feelings associated with you. I remember you being very safe, warm. Easy to talk to. I remember admiring you a lot but.." He looks ashamed. "Im sorry, Starlock. I hope I don't disappoint you."'''

'''Starlock wouldn't say it but.. She was, and kicking herself at the /irony/ as well.. She'd stayed away from allowing herself to love herself, and be loved after what Moonseeker did to her, and then losing Siegebreaker.. only now for First Aid's crush to be the one thing he remembers, and /barely/ at that, not recognizing it.'''

'''She'd glance down. "...I won't lie, it.. is a bit saddening but... It's okay.." She'd smile at him sadly "...Yeah.. It's okay." She'd nod, patting his pauldron. "...You remember me, sort of, what matters." She'd grin.'''

'''First Aid offers "I'll work on it. I really will." he says. "You...you want a hug? I know I can't offer you too much of who I used to be. But I can offer you who I am now. I can protect you. I can help show you around. I can help you around the medbay."'''

'''Starlock lets out a weak chuckle, even more so at the irony of it all "I'd not mind it.." She'd smile. "And it's okay, I don't.. expect you to be who you where.... Much rather you be who you are, and not try to pretend to be someone your not." She'd grin, and offer out her arm for that hug.'''

'''First Aid gives a big hug and nods "I bet its weird. Like losing someone and they come back differently. Its been too long. Im glad to have you back. Or to meet you for the first time. Glad to make a new old friend." He says, his optic band glittering in a warm smile similar to what he'd give her at times before.'''

'''Warm.. Aid still felt Warm to her, and she probably felt rather cold to him... She'd hug him tightly, not wanting to let go, her finials drooping back. "Yeah.. Yeah that's exactly how it feels" She'd say softly, before pulling back to look at him.'''

“I look forward to getting to know you again." She'd nod, before something dawned on her. "...Could show you some of my old drawings of back then, maybe they could help some?"

'''First Aid nods "You draw? I'd love to see them." he says, very interested in this person that he knows but doenst know. He holds her tight until that coldness goes away, just letting her take in his warmth. "I love art."'''

'''IT was mostly due to her cooling systems, but emotionally... But, that does melt into something a bit warmer.. Once he pulls away, she smiles and takes out her sketchbook, which was still marked on thep age of her sketch of the crystal memorials for the dead in each city.'''

'''She'd start flipping through some pages, mainly to those in the barracks when they say quite, and she drew the scene there... Aid or Siegebreaker talking or interacting with others.'''

'''First Aid shakes his head. "Those barracks sure have changed." he motions to Siegebreaker. "Who is that one?" he asks. Oh Primus he doesnt remember.'''

'''Starlock frowns, when he doesn't remember Siegebreaker.. and the fact he was pointed out... "That was Siegebreaker, a bot I'd found before graduating from medical school, and being transferred to Deacon." she'd explain, she'd frowned looking at the picture somberly. "....He's gone."'''

'''She was now remembering.. Why she remembered the dead when everyone else forgot... Because being forgotten was the worst thing that could happen to anyone, alive, or dead..'''

'''First Aid winces. "Im sorry...the war has taken so many of us." he decides not to point out any other people. He points at the barracks. "Where was this?"'''

'''"This was the barracks back then." She'd say with a nod. "I know.. why I try to remember their names.. Who they where, that way they are not forgotten.. and prove they existed.. As well as maybe, find anyone they left behind, who may still be looking for them." she'd explain somberly... Her own loneliness starting to show as her optics started welling tears again.'''

She'd take a vent, trying to calm herself down, shoving the thoughts of how /no one/ would miss her, or remember her, out of her helm.

'''First Aid frowns at the tears. "Its okay to cry. You can. You've lost so much. I bet theres a lot of people around who still know you. Old friends to meet that aren't...damaged." he says softly.'''

'''Starlock looked at Aid point blank, and chuckled sadly. "Aid.. I'm not one to judge about someone being broken." She'd say with a smile. "I'm... Pretty broken too... You see my brain module is damaged.. I think.. Humans would call it brain damage.. Back then I kept it secret.." She'd explain.'''

'''"I didn't want /anyone/ knowing, or treating me any differently... I was.. Am, working with a handicap..." She'd nods affirmatively. "But I kept proving myself over and over..." She'd look to him. "It's okay to be broken.. and your no less because of such." She'd say, trying to now /cheer him/ up instead.'''

'''First Aid pauses. "Oh no its damaged? Maybe I can take a look at it. Im a pretty good medic." he offers. He seems happy and eager as long as hes helping someone as usual. "How does the damage manifest itself?"'''

'''"You'll sometimes notice i'll be slow to respond, sometimes do really /dumb/ things despite being really smart, it is from not thinking because my thought process /literally/ skipped over it, I sometimes get lost, and have no idea what I was doing, or where I am, and forget things and well.." She doesn't want to get into her anxiety and depression. "It's all small things, no one would notice and just see as...Parts of my personality." She'd explain.'''

'''First Aid nods clinically. "When did this happen?" he asks. "Its nothing to be ashamed of. We can work through it if you want." oh hes already on fixing something. He starts to tap his fingers a bit in his normal compulsive behavior.'''

'''"Dunno... Been there as long as I can remember.." She'd frown. "...Which isn't saying a lot, since I have information creep issues." She'd vent, but she did smile watching him, It was aid... It was still Aid, even if he'd been.. 'reset' as if it were, and as distant as he felt, he still felt like the Aid she knew.'''

'''First Aid gives his telltale headtilt which might be comforting but might also be a ghost of the past. "When do thse information creeps happen?" he asks, taking out a datapad and taking notes. His hands always have to be busy.'''

'''"Eheh.. Again, Dunno, I was originally forged in Harmonex, before Trypticon destroyed it.. so that makes me at least over 5 million years old." She'd say with a tired smile, knowing the head tilt.'''

'''First Aid pauses. "Trypticon's horrible. Right now hes parked in Tarn and hasnt moved in a while. Thank Primus we have metroplex to deal with him now. And Max when hes online." he says.'''

"Eheh.. Don't need to tell me twice, first time I lost someone, was during his destruction of Harmonex" She'd frown, remembering one of the first things Aid ever heard from her, the first time she'd gotten hurt.

'''"I had one friend at the time, A fellow Harmexian, I saw as a younger brother, and he saw me as an older sister and... He died that day.. my first death as a doctor and medic in training and in my professional life... I had nightmares of being over him trying to stop the bleeding and.." she'd drift a moment.'''

"...Just repeated, over.. and over again.. 'Please stop bleeding'"

'''First Aid holds his head a moment as a memory passes through him. "I remember..." his optics flash painfully as somethings seems to terrify him. "I've never had that happen. I've seen many human families see their loved ones die. just like that. War no matter what planet you're on is a horrible thing."'''

'''Starlock's finials perk up, and her optics bright, even glitter as he says he remembers, but she sees the fear and pain on his face and that glitter flickers out. "Indeed.. Indeed it is.. Are you okay?" She'd then suddenly ask. "You looked like...You saw something horrible."'''

'''First Aid whispers softly, staring off for a moment as he hits a strong memory. "He's back you know. He was behind hte nucleosis thing. Hes in hiding, they want to make him pay for his crime. Hes not ina position of power, not like last time. This time. This time, Starlock. We can bring him to justice."'''

'''Starlock looks confused for a long, long moment before it /clicks/ one trauma she'd tried to suppress but never forgot, even haunted her and added to her fuel to keep trying for many years, her optic twitches, and actually so does most of her body. "Pharma.." She'd whisper.'''

'''"What.. What did he do this time?" Also, did.. Did First Aid really remember that far a head already?'''

'''First Aid gets bits and pices of things but this memory seems to be one that hit him hard. He holds his temples again, his body trembling from the memories hitting him way too fast and way too hard. Who knows if he'll keep them or not. "The disease we recently discovered at messatine." he whispers. "Near one of his labs. I think. We think Pharma created it. It started to slow people down then froze them in place. Im..imager and Soundwave were both hit by it first but it spead throughout cybertron. It took us months to clear it up and just about a week ago we finally did. Everyones cured now but Pharma's still out there."'''

'''Starlock came over and placed her hands on his pauldrons, trying to keep from falling over, and as if it would help sooth him through it. "So it put them in a perpetual stasis lock?" She'd ask thinking, it was cured but with Pharma on the loose, that meant that plagues and any other kind of bioterrorism could be set loose on the recovering planet.'''

'''"Was.. Was there a motive? or just something of his that got loose or.." she was thinking fast, very fast, her optics going back and forth as she tries to sort her thoughts.'''

'''First Aid murmurs. "No it was worse then that. As the disease progressed it would cause them to become more hateful, more angry and aggressive. Even Optimus Prime wasnt affected. Pharma created it becasue he knew the main effect was the freezing." He says. "Its one way to end the war quickly. But he didnt know about the other effect, the aggression."'''

'''"Leave it to Pharma to be dirty and not think things though." She'd state tartly, rolling her optics with a sneer, but frowned. "..You didn't run into him.. Right? You never talked to him?" She now had a growing theory, a feeling, that now had her worried.'''

'''First Aid paues. "No no. I was beneath his interest but still. Knowing hes back. I dream about him, sometimes." he says.'''

'''Starlock gently hugs him, and keeps beside him. "..We'll get him this time.. I promise." Oh that dreaded P word, the one that got her so deep into the /first mess/ Pharma made... There was a steely look in her optic, one Past Aid would of known, as Starlock's commitment, and intent to do whatever it took to set things right, even if it meant.. Doing something horrible.'''

'''First Aid remembers that look. Its hard to forget it. "I remember the trial how you..." he trembles when she hugs him, holding her back. His grip is stornger then when he was younger, less awkward but still he's Aid. A little shorter, a little boxier. But still the same old aid in that earthbuild. "Starlock, I dreamed that I was the one to do it. That I held a gun to his head and ...thats just nasty. Why would I even think something like that."'''

'''"And I bet you never knew why... Did you?" She'd ask softly... Feeling his stronger grip, she almost just wanted to fall asleep there, as silly as it was, it.. It was somewhere familiar, and safe.'''

'''"...Anxiety, and PTSD make you have horrible thoughts and dreams like that, but you are not your intrusive thoughts." She'd say... Something herself had long had to come to terms with.'''

'''"... I imagine though.. It was from being angry at how things turned out, how he got away with killing so many... Putting us all through /hell/ and just.." She'd frown. "This miscarriage of justice for those that died..."'''

'''First Aid pauses. "Just a monster in my dreams. Never knew why it was so personal but now.." he holds his head again. "I feel like I want to end it. I wont to make sure he doesnt hurt anyone again and walk away with it. Im a Protectobot I protect its what I do. Letting him live is against everything I stand for and killing him is against everything I stand for in another way." he pauses. "I don't know if I was that way before, but Im a pacifist now, Starlock. I don't believe in fighting anymore."'''

'''"And that's fine.. I kept telling you, even back then, you don't have to fight, just to defend yourself, and others in your care." She'd smile softly.'''

'''"I understand though... Pharma... Pharma is someone to dangerous to keep living, this is something I thought then, and something I still think now..." She'd look down somberly at her hands thoughtfully.'''

'''"...So let me be your knight once more... And let me use my power once more." She say cryptically.'''

'''First Aid holds his head again, something makes an audible popping noise as he does so. "I dont know what I was like before. I know I was young and scared. I probably wasn't very good company. I wish a hero from your past had shown up not just some kid."'''

'''First aid nods. "You know what. Theres a human word I wanna use if you dont understand I'll explain it. "Fuck Pharma. Right in the tailpipe." he nods. "You heard me. Fuck him."'''

'''First Aid looks to Starlock. "Together we can get him. I know we can because we're Autobots and we don't let people like that go anymore."'''

'''Starlock stares at Aid and just /bursts/ into a crazed witches cackle of laughter, and snorts, there was something he had not heard in sometime. "YES!" She'd shout, throwing her hands up and spinning on her pedes.'''

'''"We'll find a way to set things right, /thats/ who we are, /thats/ who I joined." She'd grin, a fire having been ignited in her.'''

'''First Aid nods "I signed up because.." he really can't remember that far. "Well. When I was reactivated, I took my oath and rejoined because I want to protect people. I cant think of a bigger threat than Pharma." he says. "Its good to see you so happy, Starlock." he beams.'''

'''Starlock placed her hands around First aids, she still had her dainty, medic-artist hands, weak, but still trying. "...Because you wanted to help." She'd grin, remembering some of their long extensive talks in the barracks, on top of decon..'''

'''"...I'm happy, to be happy...And I have you to thank." she'd smile. "...I came back, because I wanted to help, I want to set things right, and I want us to finally be able to live in peace, I can't do that up in space... So even if I am about to lose my home, again, I won't give up."'''

'''First aid has those flexible, very sensitive medic hands like ratchet does. When she touches his hands, he warms right up, putting his hands around her small ones. "Yeah. I can't just sit still and watch the war around me, no matter what I believe. I have to do something to stop it."'''

'''"And I have you to thank that Im happy tonight too. I know you wont give up. I remember that you are stubborn. I remember admiring you a great deal." he says. "If It hurts too much to be close to me now that I'm different, I understand. But remember I have always respected you."'''

'''Starlock grins, chuckling. "What did you expect, of the femme that gave megatron the rudest Cybertronain gesture possible?" She'd say almost proudly, and laughed, and placed a hand on her hip platting, and a finger on his for head. "Did more the respect.. and I was always aware of it.. Just.. never knew how to address /it/" She'd say vaguely, with a grin.'''

"...Like I said, I rather you be the you, you are now, and no one else, because you are still Aid, but you've grown, even if you can't remember."

'''First Aid chuckles. "I remember that. I ... I remember it." He pulls his hand away. Hes not in any pain and he does rememer that bit. "I don't rmemeber everything but a lot of its coming back when I talk about it." his forehead is very warm to the touch even through his helmet. "Im going to write it down so even if it doesnt stick around. I wont forget it. I never want to forget you again."'''

'''Starlock smiles softly, even giving a bit of an impish grin. "Remember our awful first date?" She'd almost start laughing, if she was gonna be /cursed/ remembering that, oh by the gods she was going to be sure /he/ remembered it too.'''

'''Starlock nodded. "...Cool" She'd say simply with a smile, before yawning.'''

'''First Aid chuckles. "Oh Primus I do. I hope you found someone better. I was such a virgin." he says. Oh man he knows that word now too.'''

'''Starlock laughed. "Leave it to Blurr and Hot Rod to make things awful." She'd smile, before she grew more somber, but still smiling. "...Ehh. Not really.. I was in love with siegebreaker since the day I met him and.. Well now he's gone." She'd say, looking away.'''

'''"Was hard for me back then because I felt I was unworthy of being loved by myself or anyone else." She'd explain. "...Just..felt I was /tainted/ by what Moonseeker did to me, and thus not allowed to know or understand what actual love would be like." She'd sigh. "...It was dumb." she'd smile at him, she could say the L word now too!'''

'''First Aid winces as Starlock explains that. "I only fell in love once and I kinda let it go becasue I wasn't really good enough for her. She deserved someone better then me, someone more experienced. I was a kid back then and kinda awkward." He says. "Now?" He says. "Well. I'm always working either saving humand or Autobots." he says. "I wouldnt do that to anyone. Wouldn't let them fall for someone who can't be there for them."'''

'''Starlock chuckld and just sighed, shaking her helm, looking at him. "...Ehh Who knows.. We don't know the future." She'd say simply with a grin, but oh there was an irony growing. "...Like I always said, fate can screw itself and die, we make our own damn paths in life..." She'd smile. "Never count anything out, unless your sure it's impossible." She'd chuckle as she put her finger to her lips, and winked.'''

'''First Aid tilts his head. "Its not right to do that to anyone." what hes STILL never been with anyone? Oh aid. "Just watching Springer work his way around this base is enough to wear me out in that regards. Careful hes quite the femme's mech." he warns'''

'''"Noted." She'd say, laughing. "Springer isn't my type anyway, I rather more the mature, stoic, realistic types, but aren't so hard-ass, they can't have fun." She'd chuckle.'''

'''First Aid chuckles. "He's pretty to watch you know. The hate to see them go but love to watch them leave type."'''

'''"A walking disaster, you mean?" She'd laugh.'''

'''First Aid chuckles. "Train wreck. Sometimes you can't look away." he laughs. "Oh Primus, we're horrible."'''

'''Starlock laughed. "That we are... But we're horrible together, that's what matters." She'd smile.'''

'''First Aid smiles. "Yeah. Togehter." He says. "I missed this. I didnt know I did but. I missed this." he whispers softly. "I had a crush on you back then you know." he says "Im sorry. That must hav been embarassing."'''

'''"I missed it too." She'd chuckle, and vented a huff. "Like I said.. I was always aware you did I just... I didn't know how to address it due to what I explained.." She'd nod. "Man I even asked Blades and still couldn't do anything." She'd laugh.'''

'''"...Honestly though..? I think.. Part of me also liked it and just.. didn't want to acknowledge it, due to being scared, as well.."First Aid blinks. "Wait what you asked Blades about..." He blushes brightly and is quiet. "Starlock.."'''

'''She chuckled. "There's a reason it's hard to surprise me, I pick up on things quickly." She'd smile, and vented.'''

'''She looked right at him. "...I'm proud of you Aid, you've come so far." She'd smile.'''

'''First Aid looks back. "I know. Im proud of you too. We stand side by side as Autobots now. Theres no one else I'd rather fight with. I'd rather spend my time..." he catches himself. "Sorry."'''

'''Starlock smiled. "I know... It's okay." She'd grin. "...Tell you want, give it a couple weeks, lets get to know each other again, see how things go." She'd nod, given if they even had that time but.. Ahh, she said it herself, they couldn't predict the future.'''

'''First Aid nods "Okay then." He gives a thumbs up "Im glad to have a friend back. If thres anything I dont remember let me know about it ok?"'''

'''"I will.. But with the big things coming back.. the small will surely follow." She'd nod. "Don't hurt yourself, alright?" She'd add with a nod.'''

'''First Aid tilts his head. "If you do I'll be here to fix you up." he says softly."'''

'''Starlock smiled. "Thanks." She'd say softly, looking down the hall. "So.. Barracks, see if they have a suit I can stay in again.." Oh she hated staying in the base...'''

'''First Aid tilts his head. "Yes yes they should have plenty of suites. I normally sleep with my brothers, but I can and should bunk out here tonight. My head feels real funny from all of that and should probably run a few scans to make sure the files stay in place. Like I said I'd hate to lose them again."'''

'''Starlock nodded. "Don't worry about waking me if you need help then, I'd be glad to." She'd smile.'''

'''First Aid takes off his helmet. "I'll be okay. Just have a few wires loose but don't we all?" his left audial leaks energon a little bit but he doenst seem to mind. A small price to pay for what he learned tonight. "I'm going to get some rest and repair time." he says. "But before I do Im going to write all of this down."'''

'''Starlock nodded again, her optics widening, seeing the energon leaking from his audial. "...For you do, let me let you get that energon to stop bleeding out" She'd knit her ridges, Starlock, despite maturin,g was still Starlock, after all.'''

Starlock says, "right?'”

'''First Aid is a little more mature, so he actually lets her look at it. "Allright. I think my neural net had rework some things to bring those memories up. Its amazing how the brain module works isnt it? Think you forget everything and something sets it all back in place."'''