User blog:Spikewitwicky/March 8, 2016 - Spike's Journal Entry



Wheeljack's lab is cleaned. Looks like this entire Dr. Arkeville issue is finally put to bed.

Some other housecleaning, Typhoon came in and talked about Freeque, apparently, he's having some adjustment issues. Issues that involve threatening to bite a person's hand off in a pet shelter, so...I'll be doing some diplomatic clean-up over the next few days, and informing Freeque that threatening people with dismemberment isn't our style. I remain optimistic. This was a misunderstanding. But the more pessimistic/realist in me is afraid we may have another Twin Twist on our hands.

So, dad had a talk with me. He was disappointed in how I handled things with the Dr. Arkeville situation. As I predicted, he views someone's lab/workstation as their own, and off-limits to meddling unless someone asks for permission. He said I overstepped my authority to exact revenge on Dr. Arkeville. If anyone is reading this after I kick, and if this is for whatever reason still remembered (I highly doubt it) - I have to adamantly say this is not the case! I've learned enough from Crosscut's school of diplomacy to remove myself from the situation. Dr. Arkeville is like a master chess player - 10 moves ahead of everyone else. I've always been leery about us using Dr. Arkeville's technology for us. His technology may help the Autobots now, but a few months down the road, it could easily turn on us. One of those times where he devises another invention...to 'link up' with the previous invention he did a year ago, but then, when combined, that invention that helped the Autobots could devastate them during the worst possible moment.

Anyway - this was a thought-out decision on my part. I got Crosscut's endorsement - he wouldn't endorse it if I flew off the handle. Now...the way I handled it...

Dad thought I abused my new power, by not respecting the chain of command. I ignored Wheeljack, and went unilaterally, taking advantage of the Autobot's trust in me. And the thing that hurts... is that he's right. Did it feel good going over Wheeljack's head? No. Did it feel bad? No. The weird thing...I didn't even think of it. And I'm guessing that's how abuse of power starts. I'm so used to seeing people like Starscream, and Sheikh Mohammed flaunt their power in outrageous ways. There's no way that I'm in that category. But...like most abuse of power, it starts small - like in my case. I needed something done, STAT. I didn't have time to go through the chain of command. Dad said that there were some young commanders in Korea who acted the same as I did. I remember working for a few construction gigs after college, and seeing some young prick totally throw their weight around. I so don't want to be "that guy" - and will do everything in my power to make sure that this never happens again.

I'm glad I have someone like dad who can see stuff that I'm occasionally blinded to. And that leads to a far more depressing reality. Yesterday, he looked frail. More frail than a month ago. I went to see Zootopia with Megan yesterday - after I was done cleaning Wheeljack's lab. Two years ago, dad could have gone with us. He may not have enjoyed the cartoon, but he would have enjoyed hanging out with his grandaughter. And when he came back to Autobot City, he'd be tired, and ready for bed. Yesterday... asking him to accompany us would have been as realistic as asking him to run a 10k in the desert heat.

All he did was go into the repair bay two days ago, listen and revel in the adoration of a few Autobots, give me an earful. But even that level of activity exhausted him to the point that yesterday, he spent the majority of his time in bed. I've realized over the past few years, I keep saying - to no diety in particular - just give me one more year, just one more Thanksgiving. Now, I'm pretty much realizing how futile and a waste that request is. Death doesn't exactly say "Oh, this year is bad for you? How about 2018?"

Dad isn't getting older. He's dying. And I'm nowhere ready to let go, but it looks like I'm going to have to - sooner than later. Buster has spring break this week. I'm going to ask him to come down, and maybe Uncle Ron and Aunt Judy as well. He's been in this situation before, but yesterday, he had this weird "acceptance" about him - like he's happy at all he's accomplished. He's not going to see Megan graduate from high school. And he's ready to go onto the next journey.

I tend to avoid the morbid, but as his power of attorney, I'm going to have to unfortunatly start talking to him about what he wants for his funeral. He's reached a point of near legendary status on Cybertron. To the point where they want to give him a full 'Cybertronian funeral' - like when Alpha Trion was sent to join the universe. For this - his body would be placed in a bearer, and he would be shot into space, continuing his journey. I feel like his explorer heart would welcome this. But at the same time, he's also very much a down-to-earth guy (no pun intended) - and if given the choice, he's ready to be placed right next to mom, his true love.

If I were an odds man, I would say there's a 50/50 chance he'll live to see the next Memorial Day, and a 40/60 chance he'll see the next Christmas. Even though I got the business end of a lecture yesterday, his mental faculties were still very much present, for which I'm grateful. But as we talked, his look was unmistakable. He's ready.