User blog:Spikewitwicky/February 1, 2017 - Spike's Journal Entry



I hate being in the news. Okay - I admit, not all of it. The New Yorker profile was great - albiet painfully honest. Way way way way back, I remember happily appearing in Teen Beat when I was 16. But lately, it's been more like "Goddamnit, Spike - where are the Autobots?!" Optimus Prime has held firm in his belief that we should evolve as a species with as little interference from the Autobots as possible. His "basic" belief - if it's an earthquake, the 'bots sweep in and help out. If it's what we have now - with Cobra firmly occupying major cities, including Washington D.C. - it's more of a "it's regrettable, and I hope your people can mount a peaceful resistance" style of response.

Even though, this entire Cobra thing could be squashed in a New York minute if Prime were to deploy the full resources of the Autobots - without taxing so much as a circuit. Like...a "on the way back from kicking Megatron's aft, can you stop by D.C. and clean up Cobra?" style of response. So, I'm left to defend this action. Jumal has repeatedly criticized the Autobots for ignoring human suffering. I would love to right now say "Look, as much as I want the 'bots to help out, we have our own problems right now - like trying to save Cybertron." But I can't say that, because that would appear like the 'bots are weak in the eyes of the Decepticons. So...I'm basically here, muted. And to be honest, far more smarter and qualified people than me would have figured out a more elegant way to express all of this.

Which leads me to John MacLeod's well-publicized "firing" of me yesterday. His firing of me really isn't how this ambassador thing works. I was never PAID by the U.S. to be an ambassador. But his Tweets...ouch, they sort of struck everything that I privately doubt about myself "weak," "a joke" "woefully unqualified." And per MacLeod's recent MO, he happily announced Shawn Berger Jr. (aka douchebag) will be the "new" ambassador - continuing with his trait of hiring foxes to run hen houses.

Will other nations follow suit? I made the mistake of going on Twitter to see the reaction, and the only thing I saw was people who reinforced MacLeod's belief. One Tweet said "waiting for marissa faireborn to just fucking give up and clothesline spike witwicky." How Marissa came into this is anyone's guess.

I haven't heard from Crosscut. The Autobots are sort of focused on preserving Cybertron. So, this whole thing is definitely a "when you have a second" priority. I don't know if I'm an ambassador or not anymore. So, I'm just going to do my usual stuff today. Repair bay. Continue to do diplomatic stuff when I get relieved for my repair bay shift. And wait for the inevitable fallout.

In other news, I had what I guess was an "anxiety dream." I dreamt that I was back at the Ark. I was 15 or 16. But, dad had recently died of a heart attack, and Prime was consoling me. I don't know if today's stuff triggered the dream, but I felt utterly lost and totally alone - knowing the Autobots would still "protect" me, but weren't certainly going to "raise" me. And Ron and Judy already had their hands full with Buster.