User blog:Bzero/Neutral Vessels Attacked

The image of a burning orange spacecraft appears on-screen, while a portly-looking pilot sprays it with flame-retardant foam. The camera pans over to a small group of huddled Transformers, while a voice can be heard narrating, “This was the scene earlier this cyber-week after yet another in a series of attacks against neutral citizens. Those trying to flee Cybertron in the wake of powerful storms and cyberquakes have been prevented from doing so by Decepticon forces.”

The image changes to a small robot with a gold face and a blue helmet. A graphic pops up identifying him as ‘Gusher, Unaffiliated.’  The blue robot scowls. “This operation was a smegshow from beginning to end,” he practically spits. “My partner Pipeline and I have been trying to get off this fragging planet for an orbital cycle now, and we finally booked passage on this trashheap of a Junkion ship. After solar cycles of waiting, we’re ready to board at last, when who should arrive but the Decepticons.”

Gusher’s frown deepens. “First we saw Shockwave – the guy who ran Cybertron for most of the last four million stellar cycles and did a used-oil-poor job of it if you ask me. Then a little Decepticon started nosing us – I don’t know if it was supposed to distract us or what, but it did prevent us from getting on the ship. Which was a bonus, I guess, because the bit-brain of the pilot got his ship blasted by Shockwave, even while being covered by some weird freaky spider thing.”

“So, anyway,” Gusher continues, “I fragging give up. Until the Autobots can get off their afts to help us, we’re taking our Tanker Truck and heading back to Altihex. I don’t need this slag. Frag this.” With a disgusted expression, Gusher turns and storms off, joined quickly by an orange and red robot about his size. The camera tracks them as they join other beached neutrals, and the voiceover concludes, “For now, these and other unaffiliated robots are stranded on Cybertron, and seem to be losing hope.”

“This has been Slamdance reporting from the Hydrax Spaceport. Good night.”