Major Bludd

"When you're feeling low and woozy/ Slap a fresh clip in your Uzi!/ Assume the proper firing stance/ And make the suckers jump up and dance!"

MAJOR BLUDD received initial military training in the Australian Special Air Service. He later joined the French Foreign Legion. Worked as a military advisor in a number of countries and is currently wanted for crimes in Libya and Zimbabwe. He is proficient with every form of infantry weapon in current use. Bludd has a tactical mind like a steel trap. He is a qualified expert in all NATO and Warsaw Pact small arms. He also writes poetry... very badly:

"A mercenary's job is a heartless one/ I'm a soldier for hire, like a pawn-shop gun/ My ruthless tactics keep you on your toes/  'Cause I fight 'em all, whether friends or foes!"

Canonical/Pre-MUX/Theme History:
"All my life I've wanted to walk down the street with two million dollars in a Gucci bag. Now hand it over!" -- Major Bludd (Comics history from Bludd's article on JMM's GI Joe Comics Homepage)

Sebastian Bludd is one of the most infamous mercenaries in the world. He has worked as a terrorist, assassin and soldier-for-hire. His only loyalty is to money, and he has been known to turn on his employers if he finds a better opportunity. Bludd's expertise (and rank of Major) comes from his initial military training from the Australian Special Air Service. He later joined the French Foreign Legion, and finally became a freelance military advisor. He soon discovered that there was more money to be made in using his skills in the service of criminals, terrorists and revolutionaries, and his life as a mercenary began. Over the years, Bludd has also been known for writing poetry...bad poetry. (Though the Baroness once described his poetry as "quite beautiful".) He is possibly the only poet ever to use the word "Uzi".

By 1983, Bludd was wanted for crimes in Rhodesia and Libya. That same year, Major Bludd was hired by Cobra Commander to join his organization. The Commander kept his true agenda a secret: he had hired Bludd to kill Destro, fearing he could and would usurp his command.

Shortly afterward, Bludd participated in a battle against the G.I. Joe team in Washington, DC. He manned the turret of the HISS tank that was being driven by the Baroness. In the midst of the battle, Cobra Commander ordered Bludd to kill Destro. The Major took aim at Destro, but the Baroness realized what he was about to do and swerved, ruining Bludd's shot. The out-of-control tank crashed, and Bludd ran from the burning wreck, leaving the Baroness trapped inside as it exploded. The Baroness survived, but was badly burned by the blast. In the aftermath of the battle, Bludd made his escape, realizing Destro knew he had tried to kill him. Cobra Commander insisted that Bludd acted alone to keep the Baroness for himself. Bludd, meanwhile, made his way to a bus terminal where he hijacked a bus filled with passengers, including another fleeing Cobra agent, Scar-face. The Joes Stalker and Grand Slam caught up with the bus on motorcycle, as Bludd fired upon them. Bludd was taken by surprise when Grand Slam climbed atop the bus and smashed through the windshield, swinging inside. Bludd was momentarily distracted when he recognized Scar-face on the bus, allowing Grand Slam to subdue him. Once in custody, Bludd was taken to the hospital to be treated for his injuries. There, he learned the Baroness had survived the explosion the night before. He attempted to escape but was stopped by a patient -- Hawk. The Joes' leader had been shot during the battle and was being treated there. He had refused to give up his sidearm, and was able to recapture Bludd.

The Major was later brought to Joe headquarters along with Scar-face and an unconscious Baroness. While they were in custody, Cobra staged a massive attack on the Joes' base. During the confusion of the battle, Bludd knocked out Doc while still handcuffed to the bars. Taking the keys from the Joes' medic, Bludd unlocked his own cuffs, and planned to escape with the Baroness in a Cobra FANG helicopter that had landed on the roof. It's pilot set explosives to destroy the fortress perched atop the Pit. He also decided to leave Scar-face in his cell, but Bludd was soon stopped in his tracks, held at gunpoint by General Flagg. Scar-face then kicked the pistol from Flagg's hands, allowing Bludd to pick up the gun and fire on Flagg, killing him. Despite Scar-face's help, Bludd still left him behind and took off with the Baroness (though he promised to write a poem about him). Scar-face was later killed by the explosion that destroyed the fortress.

Eventually, Major Bludd made his way to Switzerland with the Baroness. He brought her to the Bern Institute of Reconstructive Surgery, where Dr. Hundtkinder restored her badly burnt face. While the Baroness recovered, Bludd made a phone call to Cobra Commander and demanded a ransom for the Baroness, threatening to tell Destro that he had been hired to kill him. The Commander was enraged, but had little choice but to pay him. The Commander made his way to Switzerland, allowing Destro to still believe the Baroness was dead. Once the Commander arrived, the Joes appeared, having been keeping Bludd under surveillance. In the fight that followed, Bludd and the Baroness escaped with the Commander's bodyguard, Storm Shadow. The Commander was captured by the Joes.

Bludd and the Baroness returned to Springfield, where Destro was ready to kill Bludd for the attempt on his life. Fortunately for Bludd, Destro was taken aback by learning the Baroness was alive. Using the Commander's treachery and his feelings for the Baroness to manipulate Destro, she and Bludd planned to take control of Cobra in the Commander's absence. Their only stumbling block was Storm Shadow, who freed the Commander from the Joes. After the Commander returned to Springfield, Bludd was thrown into a jail cell for his treachery. The Baroness soon offered Bludd his freedom, in exchange for his help in planning the assassination of Cobra Commander. They sought out a boy named Billy, working in Springfield's anti-Cobra underground resistance. The brutal Bludd turned Billy into an assassin and provided him with the weapon to kill the Commander. The stage was set, and at a Cobra rally, Billy approached the Commander as a Cobra youth, holding a bouquet of flowers. The Commander was about to be gunned down when Destro stopped the boy from firing. His explanation was more surprising than his actions. He had recognized the boy -- he was Cobra Commander's son. In the inquest that followed, Bludd was pleased that the boy refused to give up his accomplices. After the inquest, Major Bludd eventually stopped working for Cobra altogether since the Commander knew he could no longer trust him. He contined his career as a mercenary, and was not seen by Cobra or G.I. Joe for years. After the apparent deaths of Destro and the Commander, Bludd was hired by Serpentor to pose as Destro in order to infiltrate his castle in Scotland and steal his copy of the plans to Cobra's Terror-Drome launch bases. The real Destro arrived home to discover the imposter, and with the Joes' help, he overcame his castle's defenses and beat Bludd in a fistfight. It's not known what Destro decided to do with Major Bludd, but the mercenary returned to his career some time after his defeat in Scotland. He had no contact with Cobra for the next several years.

Major Bludd resurfaced in the Eastern European country of Borovia amidst the chaos that followed the collapse of the Soviet Union. Snake-Eyes had been sent into the nation to rescue George Strawhacker, a member of the state department who was being held in a Borovian gulag. General Thurston Crowther, head of the committee of generals known as the Jugglers, sent Snake-Eyes on that mission, but he also secretly hired Major Bludd to kill Snake-Eyes. Strawhacker had been leaking false information to the Soviets, and if he returned to the United States, the false information would have been suspect. At the same time, Snake-Eyes' rescue attempt was staged so it would appear someone had tried to rescue Strawhacker. As the he arrived in the midst of ritoing Borovians, Bludd assured Metz, the man who hoped to be leader of the new Borovia, that his mission was for the good of the people of his country. When Strawhacker was killed anyway, Bludd opted not to kill Snake-Eyes, since Strawhacker's death made it unnecessary. He then sold out Metz by telling the people his plans. Bludd's actions could be perceived as honorable, but Snake-Eyes was becoming a hero to the Borovians and if Bludd killed him, he probably wouldn't have made it out of the country alive.

Years after the incident in Borovia, Cobra Commander called upon Bludd to work for Cobra, but Cobra forces in Europe fell to a unified attack by regular military forces soon afterward. In the wake of this conflict, most of Cobra's "high command" disappeared. Bludd himself was captured and thrown into prison at Fort Leavenworth for two years until he escaped during a prison riot he himself incited. G.I. Joe, meanwhile, was disbanded, as well. Back in business, Bludd continued his mercenary work over the next few years. In 2001, Bludd was working for the former KGB agent, Colonel Nikita. Duke, the former Joe now working for a secret government agency, tracked Bludd down on orders to arrest him for various crimes including the murder of General Flagg. After Bludd sold weapons to a group of men in Italy, Duke arrived to arrest him. After a long chase, Bludd escaped by diving into the water from a high cliff. Duke didn't expect anyone could survive the fall, but Bludd managed to. While searching the house the Major had rented while in Italy, Duke came upon a surprising message that Cobra Commander was arriving in America. The Commander had reemerged and called a meeting of his former lieutenants, including Major Bludd. Bludd was surprised when Destro forcibly took control of Cobra from the Commander, but as long as he was paid well, he was willing to fight on the side of Cobra, whoever was in charge. Eventually, "Destro" was revealed to actually be the arms dealer's son, Alexander, and his forces were eventually defeated by G.I. Joe. Bludd evaded capture like many other Cobra agents, but received a message to meet whom he thought was a potential client at a warehouse. Once there, he was surprised to find other Cobra agents, and learned that the Commander had summoned them, determined to force them to pay off their debt for betraying him and working for Destro (no matter who he had really been). Storm Shadow was used as a threat for them to stay with Cobra and never betray him again.

MUX History:
Bludd was in command at Cobra's Colombia base for the last year or so it existed. He spent most of his time trying to figure out what makes Over Kill tick, and how to keep the android and his army of BATs and Vectors from storming off and forming their own army with Cobra equipment.

TinyPlots

 * Bludd was one of the characters swept into the past during the Gold Rush TP.
 * He allowed Pathogen to think he was mindswapped with General Hawk during the Mindswap TP.
 * He led the attack on Jem's reunion concert and subsequently bargained the singers for holographic technology from Starlight Studios.
 * He designed and led the plan which trapped several Joes at Cobra's Colombia base just as it was destroyed from within with planted explosives.
 * He led an assault on Luminous' fortress and was stunned by her deadly, otherworldly beauty during the Luminous TP.
 * He participated in the capture of the unmanned drone during the Drone TP.
 * He led the assault on Boeing in Chicago and a little town in Indiana as part of Operation: Eliminate Hope.
 * He hunted down Eli Vanderpool for Extensive Enterprises during the Vanderpool TP.

Recent Activity
Major Bludd stayed on the sidelines during the brief almost-Cobra Civil War. Just before the not-war failed to break out, he made a very lucrative deal with Destro and as a result became the commander of Over Kill and his BAT and Vector forces again. This time he's making a pretty penny for it, though. He also retrieved Destro from the scene of a Decepticon attack on the CNN building in Atlanta.

Bludd was injured at Scarlett's hands during an attempt to seize a satellite in Florida.

Near the end of December, he went to Wales: partly for business, but mostly to get away from the havoc that was brewing on Cobra Island.

2007

 * May 16 - Encounter in the Jungle - Over Kill apparently hits the jackpot when Lifeline agrees to take him to the Joes' Brazilian base. But is the medic telling the cyborg the truth?
 * May 17 - Cyborg Retrieval - Nightgaunt's finally tracked down Over Kill and has the chance to destroy the traitor. Major Bludd and his Vipers have other plans for the cyborg.
 * May 20 - Building Building Burning Bright - Mistress Armada succeeds in obliterating Cobra's abandoned warehouse base, but once the mission is over, the trouble begins.
 * May 28 - Over Kill Remade - Major Bludd visits the new and improved Over Kill v. 5.0.
 * June 21 - Vanderpool Intro: Tomax and Xamot offer a contract to Bludd, with a handsome reward for its successful completion.
 * June 25 - Assault on the Citadel - Luminous leaves her fortress unexpectedly, and Cobra is right there to take advantage of her absence.
 * June 27 - A Brand New Over Kill
 * July 6 - Tele-Viper Showdown - A casual chat between Major Bludd and Over Kill is interrupted by unusual noises on the roof. Is it ninjas in the air ducts? Or something else...?
 * July 13 - A Little Chat - Major Bludd has a discussion with Lifeline about a former patient of his.
 * October 9 - Synthoid Showdown

2008

 * January 17 - Snapdragon Takes Her Leave - Snapdragon requests a leave of absence from Major Bludd.
 * January 18 - An Evening at Camp Crystal Lake
 * August 18 - A Deal Gone Bad - Cuffs and Kilroy try to stop Major Bludd's weapons deal.
 * September 18 - A Chat in Medical - A few Cobra characters discuss life, aging, and puffins in Cobra's medical center.
 * October 13 - Scanner Discussions - Major Bludd discusses the Brainwave Scanner with Dr. Mindbender. Baroness and Major Bludd discuss the past, the present, and the Brainwave Scanner.
 * November 24 - Ace Attempts a Rescue

2009

 * February 11 - Boeing Assault
 * February 26 - Colombia Invasion
 * February 26 - Colombia Invasion - Duke POV
 * June 19 - Megatron Scans Nyiragongo‎‎‎
 * August 24 - Rescue Plans: Destro, Major Bludd, and Wild Weasel discuss what to do about Cobra Commander's disappearance.
 * November 1 - Planning for a Pruning - Major Bludd, Over Kill, and Tele-Viper 742 discuss the recent BATnet hackings and the elusive Rose/Malaysia.
 * November 10 - Geo-Recon Satellite Capture Attempt : Major Bludd and Over Kill attempt to seize a new satellite from Cape Canaveral.
 * November 13 - Ominous Portents - A Tele-Viper brings Bludd a report that may spell trouble for Cobra.
 * December 19 - Big Trouble in Little Cardiff - On a shopping outing, Pennington and Major Bludd discover they're in demand ... and not in a good way.

Oct 12: Destro recovered
-- To: Command


 * I went out tonight to retrieve Destro from the scene of what appeared to be a Decepticon attack on the CNN building in Atlanta, GA. His Dominator had been disabled and partly buried under rubble from the damaged building. An Autobot did the heavy work of unearthing the vehicle (and in the process discovering two dead Iron Grenadiers). I collected Destro and returned him to the Island, where I admitted him to Medical. He was alive but unconscious when I admitted him.


 * For details on his condition, please contact Medical.

-- Maj. S. Bludd

Oct 30: Possible BATnet tampering
To: Command

Re: BATnet hacker

Major Bludd reporting.

I've been made aware of an anomaly within Over Kill's directives that appears to have started just after I made contact with 'Rose', the hacker responsible for infiltrating the BATnet. I have teams of Techno- and Tele-Vipers working around the clock to discover the exact nature of the anomaly.

I will make further reports as more information becomes available to me.

Nov 12: Geo-Recon Satellite
To: Command

Re: Geo-Recon Satellite

Major Bludd reporting.

Over Kill and I took a pair of Vectors to Cape Canaveral to attempt to seize a satellite that was being made ready for launch. While the local security was lax, we encountered the Joe agent Scarlett at the scene. There was some kind of problem with Over Kill: he became unresponsive soon after we arrived. I recommend he be given a thorough maintenance by Technical - perhaps the recent BATnet troubles have contributed to this error.

I engaged Scarlett while the Vectors set about taking possession of the satellite. Unfortunately I was unable to hold her off and was forced to flee the scene without the satellite.

I am informed the knife wound Scarlett gave me will keep me off active duty for at least a few days. Medical has the details on my injuries.

Nov 24: Incident in Comm-Tower
To: Command

Re: Incident in Comm-tower

Major Bludd reporting.

Tuesday evening I responded to a commotion over the primary comm channel. Tele-Viper 742 reported the death of another Tele-Viper, number 528, in the comm tower. Medical will doubtless have a report on the physical details. I observed no one leaving the scene and no one apparently saw who committed the murder. A red handprint was left on the wall near the Tele-Viper's station. I have ordered the print identified and an investigation is underway. No one else was harmed; no other injuries or incidents related to this one have been reported.

December 11: Strike on US shipping succesful
Crush Depth and I took a Moray out to take a potshot at a cargo ship at the Bay of Tampa on the 11th of December. On the Baroness' orders, no fatal casualties were inflicted. We took great care to destroy only the cargo crates the ship was carrying. Tele-Viper 742 was able to disrupt Coast Guard communications long enough for us to complete our mission. We were attacked by a helicopter on our return to Cobra Island, but we managed to destroy it with little difficulty.

December 27 : Transformer available for R&D testing
To: Command

From: Major Bludd

Re: Unknown Transformer available to R&D for exploration

An unknown Transformer, with whom I have spoken before, has agreed to come to Cobra Island and be examined in exchange for some supplies. I have left him in the hands of the R&D department. He is called Turborat and appears to have no allegiances to either the Autobots or the Decepticons. I have been cordial in all my dealings with him, and I encourage R&D staff to treat him as a guest, inasmuch as he's not to be permitted to leave until they're satisfied with the results of their testing.

Personal Journal
December 23, 2009

Players
Major Bludd is played by one of our esteemed admin.

Shattered Glass
In the Shattered Glass universe, Lt. Bludd is a writer and caring father.