User blog:Sabels/Interrogator's Journal

07-16-2018

"Always assume somebody's watching"

Everybody is watching in this day and age. We have computers that easily fit in our pockets with more power than Sputnik. The average person has access to everything, any time, any where. I kinda feel obsolete. Maybe I can't hack it any more. I also realize that I am redundant. I always have been. There are specialists with greater in-depth knowledge who are able to focus their time and energy on one thing at a time. They are like lasers and I am like a shotgun. Maybe some time on light duties will be good for me. I know it already has been. I have time to think and meditate and I am trying to tame my inner Dragons.

Who knew a book by a civilan could sum up decades of training and learning? I was in the bookstore looking for other things I might have missed. I found a book on Magic Words. How to hypnotise people by talking to them. Once again, who knew? I spent hours in that bookstore.

The night of the 14th, I lost it when an Alley-Viper mentioned wanting to become a cyborg. We were speaking to Over Kill, whom I reactivated. Command isn't going to have kittens or shit bricks when they find out about that, they're going to pass the whole house and fallout shelter.

Back to the 'freak out' as my Gunners called it. I'd given them some time off so I could take care of some business in Switzerland so they had went out and brought women back to their room. I'm sure I don't need to say more than they were just wearing pants when CG 1930 called them for you to know what they were doing. I had broken open a liqour cabinet and was drinking God knows what when they got there. Any way, they took me back to their room and got the bottle from me. Those poor women didn't know what to make of any of this.

I went to sleep...

No, I passed out.

It's better than blacking out and waking up with bruises and other injuries in the hospital.

I awoke to the sounds of the women leaving. You don't need to be a light sleeper to be awoken by a loudly whispered arguement about one side 'needing to go to work' and the other side 'not wanting to wake the main dude'. I was going to go back to sleep, but then the women tried sneaking out in platform combat boots. At that point, I knew I was awake for the day, so I got up. That scared the women, who ran off.

I don't blame them as nobody wakes up from passing out looking human. Plus, I admit, I wasn't happy.

My gunners had their guilty looks on but I reassured them everything was fine. Gargoyle started cooking breakfast for us and I went to shower and make myself look presentable. By the time I had gotten out of the shower and gotten dressed, breakfast was ready and we ate.

While my Gunners were readying themselves for the day, I noticed two things in the room that shouldn't be there. Those would be the women's messenger bags. When my Gunners had gotten dressed, they noticed I was going through their bags. I was making sure that the bags hadn't been left on purpose to spy on us. Finding nothing, other than each having a laptop (which I checked) and their cellphones (which I also checked). My Gunners watched me and I could tell they were uncomfortable about what I was doing, but they knew it was necessary. I asked them if I knew where they worked and Big Shot said he did and he would take me there. Gargoyle said he had stuff to do and would stay behind.

I should have been suspicious at that.

I apologised to them when we got there and though they were nervous, they graciously accepted my apology. Feeling bad, I left my Big Shot to calm them down and looked around the shop. It was a New Age store with the usual assortment of things, but I was drawn to the Astrology section. I found something I didn't know existed: books that explained the Psychological theory of Astrology, particularly Archetypes and Symbolism. I picked out the two I thought were the best and brought them to the counter to pay. Everybody there looked more relaxed and as one of the women was rining me up, her friend told me that if I was interested, there were two tarot decks she could recommend. While conducting my investigation of their bags, I had noticed that this one was a Psychology Major at the local College and was intrigued so I asked her to show them to me. As I held the boxes and read the backs of them, I asked her why she would suggest these out of all the others. She said she had written her final on those decks for her Psychology class her Sophmore year. I asked her what grade she got and when she said an 'A', I figured that was good enough. As she added those to the books, I asked her if she still had that paper and she seemed surprised, but she said she would email me a copy. I told her I was between email addresses at the moment, but Big Shot gave her his.

I hope she does email it, as I got the feeling that it would be awkward of me to remind her in a few days if she didn't.

When we got back, I noticed there wre things missing. Namely the liqour. I also noticed that my belongings had been torn apart. Gargoyle had a cautious look on his face as behind me, Big Shot ordered me to sit down. Neither of them had even thought of that before, so i knew this was going to be bad. I won't go into details, but needless to say I am now on liqour, cigarette, and marijuana rations. I never thought I would get this bad. "Somewhere along the way you let the whole thing slide" the song goes and I have been letting things slide. *sigh*

Storm Shadow was right, I do need to freeze time while looking at the other three dimensions.

I realize that managing my time is something I need to work on. There is a term for what I believe Storm Shadow is talking about in Psychology - Mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.

Somewhere along the way I let the whole thing slide.

I was thinking of burning this, but I think i want to keep it as a way to guage my progress. maybe I should get one of those nice leather journals like Sebastian carries around. I won't write anything secret in it, just keep track of what's going through my head.