MUX News and Rumors (2010)

IC News and Reports from the MUX

Jan 11 - News Broadcast
(Sorry for the delay in getting this out. Getting schedules to meet up was difficult - but this would have been broadcast live the same day that Cobra had their party!) [A lithe young woman, just into her twenties, appears on screen, microphone in hand. She's sharp eyed, fresh faced, blessed with the blush of health and a pale mein dotted with freckles. Her red hair is stick-straight, cut in a flirty little bob that goes just past her chin. She's dressed business casual. With a touch to her ear bud, she gets the cue.]

"This is Catherine St. Claire with Fox News, reporting live from the Cobra Consulate in New York City, New York. Today possibly marks the beginning of a new chapter for the Cobra Organization, where the consulate announced on Monday that they would be hosting an open invitation event within the consulate walls. This is the first time in history that the consulate, an unmistakable local landmark built in 1986, has extended such open hospitality to any and all who wished to attend. Ever since the disappearance of Cobra Commander, it seems that Cobra has taken a different public and foreign relations policy; headed by Baroness Anastasia DeCobray, the efforts of the organization as a whole seem to place more emphasis on the 'common man' edict that Cobra has championed since the mid 1980s, with renewed vows of continued education, provided health care, employment and equality for all."

[Camera Pan to the Baroness]  CStC: "With me now is Baroness DeCobray herself, current head of the regime and spokeswoman for Cobra. Good evening, Baroness DeCobray. This is quite an ordeal that Cobra has put together. Could you tell our viewers a little about what prompted Cobra to host and fund this event?"

DeCobray: "Well, Catherine, the first reason we decided.... well, I, actually, decided to host this event, was because the People of the United States need to know that Cobra is not their enemy. We may be locked in a struggle with the United States Government, but the Citizens of this Country are our friends. Cobra does not wish to see them hurt. Secondly, it is a way we can give back to the less fortuneate people in this city. The United States Government does not take care of their own people, and we would like to help. This event is open to anyone, including the many homeless people in the city, and the Consulate will remain open through the winter, for them to use as a shelter."

CStC: "With that in mind and speaking from a historic standpoint, this seems like the organization is taking a new approach to dealing with countries with whom Cobra has poor relations. Could you tell us what prompted the new direction? Did it have anything to do with the disappearance of the mysterious Cobra Commander, or are you continuing a work he had planned before he vanished?"

DeCobray: "I decided that it was time to improve relations with the people we have always been desiring to free. Most people believe that Cobra's intention has been World Domination, and while some of the actions Cobra has taken in the past might lead one to think that, but in fact, we have always only wanted to free the people of the world from the opression of their Governments.

For Example, look at our actions in Somalia, 4 or 5 years ago. We have taken that country out of the war torn, desolate state that it was in, and turned it into one of the most prosperous Countries in Africa. The betterment of people has always been our goal.

As for the Commander's disappearance, while we do not have proof, we do believe that the United States Government had some hand it. We demand they release him."

CStC: "Your thoughts on the Commander's disappearance are dually noted, Baroness DeCobray. Keeping in light of Cobra's new approach, what is the organization's plans for the future? Will there be more galas such as this, or further substantial donations, does Cobra plan to establish any charities, or such?"

Decobray: *Soft Chuckle* "Well, to be honest, I hadn't thought that far in advance. It is very probable that we will, however. Hopefully in other cities, where we can help the rest of the people of the United States, as we are helping the People of New York.

As for charities, the Cobra Foundation is being drawn up. The plans are for it to help the families of anyone prior Cobra activities may have hurt, and also, to help the Homeless of the United States, by supplying them with a Place to get clean, sober, job training, and hot meals. Announcements on that should be forthcoming in the next few weeks. "

CStC: "That sounds simply wonderful, Baroness DeCobray, and an excellent way to start off a new year. Is the efforts of the Organization directed primarily toward the people of the United States, or is Cobra's invitation open to people worldwide? Will the charity you mentioned be on a global scope as well?"

DeCobray: "To start, the Charity will be in the United States only. By years end, we will try to expand it to the World, but we have to start small, at this time.

We would like to help people in other countries, and our efforts of shipping food and water to areas affected by our.... conflict.... with the United States Government has already begun."

CStC: "So in summary, Cobra has taken a new and more charitable approach to handling the conflict with the United States and its allies. Your goals are to provide hope and betterment to those people you feel have been forgotten by the government, and your future goals are aimed toward extending this goodwill toward the rest of the world, hopefully by the end of the year?"

DeCobray: That is essentially correct. Shortly after the new year starts, however, we will once again have to attack Military only targets of the United States Government. Unless the United States Government openly admits we are not terrorists, that we are Freedom Fighters, and acknowledges that they will change their ways. No longer will they put themselves before their people...

CStC: Again, noted, Baroness DeCobray. I would like to thank you for taking the time to see to this brief interview. On a side note, one of my colleagues had slipped me a note before I came on air. *a light-hearted little laugh* It was a request: If you'd oblige the camera with a wink, to start off his new year.

DeCobray: *smiles at the camera* "For your colleague...." *The Baroness winks at the camera*

CStC: *laughs, cheerfully* "Thank you again, Baroness DeCobray. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you.

[The Camera Pans back to Catherine.] "And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. What awaits the new stance of Cobra regime? In the tough days ahead for people of the world, only time will tell. This is Catherine St. Claire, reporting for Fox News."

Jan 12 - Terrorist Attack in Louisiana
News reports come in from the Louisiana coastline from the military establishment at Smalltown, Louisiana. Apparently terrorists bombed the external storage facility at the docks there, destroying several containers of military supplies, killing two and injuring a dozen. The fires are under control and reports say the Coast Guard is working on searching the Gulf of Mexico for the escaped fugitives.

Jan 18 - Cobra aids in relief efforts
The BBC News logo scrolls and fades in on a red-haired woman with a microphone, standing in the midst of one of countless rescue sites in Haiti.

"This is Adele Sharp, reporting live from Port-au-Prince, where, five days on, relief efforts are still underway for the victims of Haiti's devastating earthquake. Among the US troops and personnel from relief organisations here, we were surprised to find Cobra troopers and equipment working alongside them, aiding the rescue efforts."

The camera pans as the reporter continues to speak, showing mirror-helmeted Cobra Vipers and black and yellow Battle Android Troopers moving among the rubble while a group of purple-uniformed Techno-Vipers man specialised digging equipment. A BAT is standing in a heap of debris, apparently bracing its body against the collapse so that a Viper can crawl out, pulling an injured man along with him. "In an unexpected show of compassion, Cobra has donated troops and androids to the cause. The androids have been able to enter areas in danger of collapse and facilitate the retrieval of people thought to be lost. With me is Major Sebastian Bludd, here to help oversee Cobra's rescue efforts."

The reporter steps over to Bludd, whose grey fatigues are grime-stained and marked by patches of concrete dust. Bludd turns from conferring with a Viper trooper to face the camera. "Major," the reporter says, "are you finding it difficult to work with the troops from the United States, given the status between your two nations?"

Bludd smiles faintly and shakes his head. "No," he replies, "everybody we've met has been decent. An' anyway it wouldn't matter if they badmouthed us. We're here t'help dig these people out, not t'make friends with the States. They're free t'dislike us if they choose."

"Tell us about the androids you brought."

"The Battle Android Troopers are nigh indestructible," Bludd says. "In fact we just got into this house here," he waves a hand at a pile of rubble nearby, "thanks to a BAT that held up the place long enough for us to crawl in and get that fella," he points to a man being seen to by a Medi-Viper nearby, "and a young boy. If it weren't for the BATs both those people would likely've died; we wouldn't've been able t'get 'em out today."

"Amazing," replies the reporter, as the camera pans briefly to focus on the Medi-Viper with the rescued man before panning back to Bludd and the reporter. "And how were you able to land your troops so quickly, with the airfield being so crowded?"

"We made use of our Vector transports," says Bludd. "They can carry an entire platoon in their bellies and they're VTOL -- that's Vertical Take-Off and Landing -- so they don't need runways. We've made several trips from the Island, ferrying Techno-Vipers and Medi-Vipers in to help out here."

"Well, I'm sure the Haitian people are thankful for your efforts, Major. I'll let you and your team get back to your work. Thank you for your time."

Bludd smiles genially, nodding to the reporter and flicking a gaze to the camera before walking out of frame. His Australian-accented voice can be heard calling inquiries to his troops as the camera turns back to the reporter.

"Cobra's help in this crisis may prove to be invaluable," she says, "and of course every bit of help is desperately needed. In Port-au-Prince, I'm Adele Sharp. Back to you in the studio."

Jan 25 - Decepticons Raid Haiti!

 * The Decepticons attempted to raid a shut down fuel depot in Haiti while officials were busy elsewhere. Fortunately, Autobots were on scene and battled the Decepticons until they fled, with one Autobot badly damaged and taken off by the other.

Jan 27 - Cobra Helping Haiti
As we had reported, just days after the Earthquake, Cobra is still leading a Relief Effort in Haiti. Their B.A.T.s continue to go into places the average Human can not, and while they are finding fewer survivors, like all rescue efforts, they do occasionally pull someone out. They are now focusing their efforts on Rebuilding. Techno-Vipers, Construction Workers, and Medical Personnel have set up a large Tent City, complete with Medical Facilities, Water Purification, and Large Food Stores, they are feeding all they can, on a daily basis, and they turn no one away.

Cobra Spokeswoman Baroness, has released a statement, it reads:


 * Cobra will continue to help our neighbors in Haiti, until the country is in better shape than it was before the Earthquake, quakes, if you count the aftershocks. We have promised the Haitian Government all the aid they might need, Monetary as well as actual workers. They know if they need something, all they need do is ask.

This continues Cobra's new trend towards being helpful, rather than destructive.

Jan 28 - Haiti Aftershock Claims MSF/Doctors Without Borders clinic
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti: An aftershock destroyed a critical care clinic staffed by physician volunteers from MSF/Doctors Without Borders earlier today. Dozens are missing and feared dead. More as this story develops.

Jan 28 - Andersen attacked!
BBC World Service - 28 January 2010, 20:30h

On the 21st of January a large strike force bearing Cobra insignia attacked the US Air Force base on the island of Guam in the Pacific. Word from survivors has taken days to reach the United States, as the base personnel were decimated and communications and computer systems were compromised. Damage is estimated in the billions of dollars, as the entire complement of aircraft stationed at Andersen were destroyed. Total casualty estimates were not available at press time.

The US has not been forthcoming with a reaction to this attack. More news as it happens.

Jan 28 - G.I. Joe only!
Greenshirt #1: Hey! I saw Snake-Eyes down on one knee, in front of Scarlet. Greenshirt #2: No way! Did she say Yes? Greenshirt #1: Well, I saw her nod... but it was Dark, they did hug... Greenshirt #2: Wow! Who'da thought he had the brains, and cajones for that?

Jan 28 - Robot brawl on Surfers
Denys Blackplains of The Courier-Mail 29 January 2010

BEACH-GOERS WERE shocked and amazed to see a pair of Transformer robots battling on the sand at Surfers Paradise yesterday afternoon. One appearing to have a small black jet on its back and a bearded purple robot shot laser weapons at each other, to the fright and delight of onlookers. Shortly after this battle began, other robots began to arrive, and lifeguards and law enforcement officers alike suggested the public move away from the scene. Eventually the robots moved away, the black jet taken away in a larger flying vehicle. No injuries have been reported among the spectators.

Jan 31 - Power Outage in Texas

 * Brief Rolling Power Outage Hits Texas - 2010/01/31

AP: At roughly 9 PM EST, major power provider for most of Texas experienced a brief, rolling blackout that swept the state.


 * According to ERCOT officials, they experienced a problem with their central distribution relay system, but the cause of the failure is still under investigation by both state and federal officials. Technicians were able to restore power to the state within ten minutes of the power outage, and ERCOT repair crews were busy throughout the night replacing transformers that blew from the strain. ERCOT hopes to have power restored to all of its customer base affected by a failed transformer by the end of Tuesday. More on this story as information is made available.

Jan 31 - Shooting in Waco

 * Snipers Engage in Shootout in Waco - 2010/01/31

AP: As if the State of Texas did not have enough to worry about with the unknown cause of its brief power outage yesterday, an unknown sniper engaged military personnel in a brief exchange of gunfire just outside Waco.


 * According to one eyewitness, when the power came on, an unknown person began firing on a Marine recruiting office, severely injuring one Marine and wounding another. Two other US Military personnel engaged the sniper in a firefight that lasted only a few minutes, and ended with the unknown shooter escaping both federal and state authorities. The Pentagon did not immediately return our calls. More on this story as information is made available.

February

 * February 2 - Around Cybertron - On Shattered Glass Cybertron, Around Cybertron reporters Andromeda and Rook report on Jetfire's new Status Update - incentive program

February 04 - Facebook Profile Update!
Posted to Krista Devereaux's Facebook Profile:

Super Bowl Sunday is here! So, I went and bought six sequential tickets several weeks ago, with the intention that my mother, my stepbrothers and stepsister and my dad could all go with me. Good seats, too - Section 114, Row 20 on the Saints' side. But, you all know my stepbrothers and dad are in the military, and couldn't make it. My grandma recently had to have open-heart surgery, as I posted before. So, Mom is going to be spending the week up in Seattle and can't make it.

This is a conundrum. I have four extra tickets to the big game. So let's investigate into what's sure to be a whirlwind of rumor mills before it actually starts.

Traveling to Oklahoma City - as posted earlier - on my way to Dallas for the aforementioned photo shoot - I was killing time on IRC. Antiquated, so 1990s, but still fun. Especially when the program is forgiving of all kinds of lag related sins. This brings us to how I met the guests you're going to see with me at the Super Bowl: A pair of redheaded twins, Denise and Marcie Livingston - and Over Kill.

What's that? Excuse me, Krista? Did you say Over Kill? Like, Cobra's Over Kill!?

Yes, I did. I didn't know who he was at the time. As we conversed, he claimed to be - and was introduced as - an android. Naturally, I didn't quite believe it at first, when I met him online a few days ago. But we talked more. And then he finally sent me a picture

(inserted here: *A picture of this 7 and a half foot Frankenstein's monster of an android, with a egg beater attached to his right hand, covered in pancake batter. There's a mixing bowl, with some batter, floating apples, oranges and a hammer in it. Theres batter dripping from the ceiling.)

of him trying to make pancakes, because I had mentioned stopping at Norman, Oklahoma at IHOP. So, I have tickets to the Super Bowl. There are three other in the chatroom - Denise and Marcie happened to be the other two. So I put out that 'Free tickets to the Super Bowl to those in the chatroom who show up at IHOP, fist come, first serve'.

And all three of them showed up. Imagine my surprise. But as you folks know me, I'm a woman of my word. He promised to be on his best behavior and go under as an envoy, and he was actually quite polite. So, you'll see me with my stepsister, two adorable redheaded twins, and Cobra's own Over Kill at the big game.

Oh, about that last ticket?

Post your most intriguing reason as to why you should go with me to the Super Bowl. I'll choose the best comment by Saturday noon EST, and buy your flight and accommodations to attend the Big Game. :) Peace Out!

Feb 06 - Autobot-US lands Supplies in Haiti Sat

 * News reports show the huge shape of the Ark sitting in the bay of one of Haiti's lagoons by the road, the large Autobot Brand displayed on its' roof. It also states that on a not-reported (For security reasons), the Autobot ship had gone to most major US and Canadian cities (with a stop in Mexico too) to pick up bottlenecked supplies unable to reach the island and transported it all with the assistance of GI Joe, getting all of it to the island in record time. The distribution process slows things down, however many Autobots remain on-hand to ensure that it gets to the right people.

Feb 07 - Super Bowl Ad: Part 1            Sun

 * Played at the end of the First Quarter*
 * On screen, appears the Cobra Logo, and than it fades into a shot of the Baroness, sitting in a Cobra-Snake-Head Throne. She smiles at the Camera, and she begins to speak.*

What about that game, eh? First of all, I'd like to tahnk this network for allowing me to come on and speak, and the American Public for not shutting us out. We may not have always been the most fair to the people, but in recent months, I have launched changes in the Cobra Organization, and now we are a champion of the people. We all know how corrupt the Presidency, the American Congress, and the American Government in General is... If you wish to fight them, with words, actions, and only as a method of last resort, violence, than visit your local Cobra Recruiter, or visit us on the World Wide Web at: www.cobraneedsyou.com

Thank you, and enjoy the rest of the game...
 * The screen fades, and suddenly, dancing Monkeys come on the screen, selling some other product.*
 * OOC NOTE: http://tfumux.wikia.com/wiki/Cobra_Recruiting_Page_*IC **

Feb 07 - Super Bowl Ad: Part 2

 * Played at the Two Minute Warning*
 * On screen, appears the Cobra Logo, and than it fades into a shot of the Baroness, sitting in a Cobra-Snake-Head Throne. She smiles at the Camera, and she begins to speak.*

Wow! This game has been all that we expected, and more, huh? Thank you once again, for watching this, as I know how many Americans still fear Cobra. In an effort to change this, I have ordered the creation of a Cobra Department of Tourism. Very shortly we will be making a Major Announcement regarding a Theme Park, which we are planning to build in Haiti. This is in conjuction with our ongoing relief efforts, in the earthquake ravaged country. We will be pouring millions of dollars into the effort to assist Haiti in getting back on its feet. All employees of the Theme Park, with a few minor exceptions, will be people of Haiti, and the Theme Park will also be building Hotels, Restuarants, and other such things, to further help employ the people. We are hoping this will be a major boom to the Economy there.

Also, in efforts to refine our image, we are now offering Tours of Cobra Island, and we will also be opening a hotel on the Island for over night visitors. The tour will include a Tour of the Main Facility on the Island, including a chance to sit in the Throne Room, that I know sit in. Each tour will be conducted in such a way, that we can promise you will get to meet a member of Cobra's well known staff. In fact, for the first tour, I will make myself available for a Question and Answer Session, and a 'Photo Op'. Look for our Ads in upcoming Travel Magazines, check your local Travel Agent, or Contact us directly at www.cobraislandtours.com Enjoy the rest of the game!


 * The screen fades out, and now, some half-dressed girls are trying to get you to buy beer!*
 * OOC: For more information, contact Baroness, and no, no website exists in the real world, but I might put something up on the wiki....*

Feb 08 - Springfield unveils new maglev train
SPRINGFIELD, QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA Springfield, rapidly becoming known as 'the city of the future', has announced that its maglev train line is operational and serving the public in a limited fashion. "Currently we have one working train," said Diana Sears, representative for the company. "We plan to eventually have a total of three trains that will serve the Greater Springfield area, with destinations from the Central Business District to the outer residential areas.

An underground train will help reduce both vehicle and foot traffic in Springfield, Ms. Sears said, but she pointed out that this is not the most important aspect of the project. "The trains and much of the support system that will be responsible for maintaining the stations are operated by artificially intelligent computer systems. No human engineer is needed aboard the maglevs - the trains know what their systems are capable of and can report in a moment to a central computer if they're having difficulty, or if there's an emergency in the tunnels. It's the largest artificial intelligence system to date."

The maglev tracks run between Health City, the Central Business District, and the Orion Regional Shopping Centre, but MagSys hopes to have Orion Stadium connected by the start of the AFL season. "The maglev system will take a lot of pressure off traffic in Springfield on game day," Ms Sears said. "People will be able to ride directly to the station beneath the stadium and just walk upstairs to see the game." The start of the season is fast approaching, but the help of android workers leased by the Extensive Enterprises corporation should speed the construction significantly.

The maglev train system is free to ride until February 12th, in celebration of its opening.

February 11 - Attacks Strain US Relations with TC
Recent attacks on US military installations by Cobra has put to rest hopes for improved relations with Cobra Island and has strained US relationships with Trans-Carpathia as well.

Feb 13 - Facebook Profile Update
Krista Devereaux's Facebook profile:

Alright. I haven't posted for a couple of days because I've been dealing with a new development. Y'all remember Over Kill, the Cobra android that got the super bowl ticket (How about them SAINTS!)?

Well.

Two days later, I was chilling in my Miami hotel room, looking over my next photo-shoot assignment, when lo! My personal cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, so I answered it. Sometimes, my brother calls me from interesting places he can never talk about. SEALs are like that. Anyway, my phone rings. And it's none other than Baroness Anastasia DeCobray.

Yes, that Baroness.

I really should think about laying some out some mothballs - there are WAY too many snakes finding their way on my doorstep. No offense, but Cobra doesn't have a sparkling track record.

The Baroness sounded *far* too pleasant. Because I have been raised right, am well informed, and my family is of blue-blooded American stock, I'm naturally on guard. I'm creeped out, a little worried, and certain that my Dad would have a squad of F22 Raptors scrambled and screaming over my room in under two minutes. It also meant that I had to at least listen to what she had to say, even if I had already prepared myself to take it with a pinch of Wasabi.

Our conversation ran something like this.

Her: "Hi! I'm THE Baroness. I want to invite you to take a tour of Cobra Island!" Me: "Uh." Her: "Cobra is opening up to tourism. And since you were kind enough to at least give Over Kill consideration, we figured that you might want to be one of the first to take this opportunity." Me: "Uh."<BR> Her: "…We have cookies."<BR> Me: "You're a Sith, aren't you. Fine, I'll visit the dark side, just so I can tell people what it's about on Facebook."<BR> Her: "Eeeexcellent…"<BR> And all the while, I'm imagining her sitting in some posh office, stroking a giant fluffy Persian, while manacled slaves feed her peeled grapes and dance to the rhythm of her cracking whip. Senator Palpatine called. He wants his armchair back.

Alright, now that I've got all that out of my system, I did consider - and accept - her offer. It's only going to be for a day or so - less if it can be managed. I'll have two camera crews of independent flavors following me around like the latest reality show. And we'll all get to see an unedited, uncut, as-it-happens tour of Cobra Island. No, I'm not getting paid for it. No, I'm not going to be endorsing their mantras, although I wouldn't be surprised if some merchandise surfaced. Yes, they are providing accommodations. If I feel like they're legit, I'll go back and dig a little deeper, but as I told her, it's best to take things slow. Rome wasn't built in a day, and it's going to take more than a coat of paint, shiny white smile, and an attractive new leader to change decades of badness in the court of public opinion.

But, I kind of feel like this is something I have to do, if for no other reason than to get a glimpse behind a door that has been closed off for so long. I mean, who else gets this kind of opportunity?

As a side note, I really dislike being a pioneer. Almost as much as I dislike most reality television. Ironic, how I mentioned so long ago that I'd rather fade into obscurity than be on a celebrity reality show, ain't it?

Fate is funny like that.

So, guess where I've been? Dealing with Family. They are NOT happy. But more on that later.

Feb 15 - Facebook profile update!
Facebook profile update for Krista Devereaux

Ugh. These past few days have been quite hellish, but full of interesting surprises and developments. Some of these were unpleasant, of course, and some of them were unexpected rays of light.

So, this coming Weekend - Saturday, to be precise, if all the gears fall in place - I'll be making good on my acceptance to visit Cobra Island. The Plan is, on this first visit, to arrive in the morning, and leave before the sun goes down. Cobra Island isn't that big, and - according to Dad - mostly a military fortification, so there won't be a whole lot for a tourist to see. I'll be avoiding restricted areas as if they had the plague, even if our kindly hostess insists. Dad - Air Force General William Devereaux - has shown me some nice aerial images, and has told me some of the alleged horror stories.

I use the term alleged because he can't really *tell* me any actual intelligence on the place. Classified and all that jazz. Live with a family that's almost entirely involved with military operations, and you get used to 'need to know'/eyes only/Because I Said So.

The Baroness promised to acquiesce to my requirements, which will be put forth by a virtual army of international attorneys, and sent to her to sign on Wednesday. One of them is a private jet and entourage diplomatic immunity that'll be carrying me to and from Cobra Island.

Do I sound paranoid enough? I am. Not only am I suspicious, but also she worries me.

I can't help but think there's an ulterior motive, but I just can't figure out what it is. I mean, yeah, I have my own following (I have a few millions subscribers, media ratings maintain steady, et al), but that'd be no use to her. Something happening to me would tick off the people she's trying to reach in that respect.

Yeah, my Daddy's a big shot in the Air Force, but a man in his position is well aware that his personal feelings can't influence his decisions without serious repercussions. Further, as an American Citizen going under diplomatic protection, allowing me to come to harm under the 500+ page caveat of The Diplomatic Law Cannon during this visit would be an act o' war.

Yeah, my two brothers are in the military, but I don't know what they actually do or where they're at any more than I know what daddy does in his work.

In spite of my last post with the visual imagery of the Baroness, I have to hand it to her. She is an incredibly intelligent woman - Brilliant, even. In the work place (and this is true in Hollywood as it is anywhere else), even a woman of means has to work harder to achieve the same success as a man. Yeah, it's improved tremendously in the past 30 years, but there's still that glass ceiling and the good o' boys clubs that run things, so you have to consider what she has had to do in order to attain her position. And no, I can _guarantee_ you that it wasn't on her back, although I can see her using her considerable wiles to her advantage. She gives off this aristocratic 'Ice Queen' sophistication. That certain level of unattainable, untouchable, almost… Celebrity… kind of distance. So with that in mind, you'd have to wonder who she's lured in and quietly torn apart in order to become the leading lady of Cobra, and my metaphoric dance partner on Saturday. She is a very determined woman in every aspect she presents, and she *believes* it.

And Believers, true Believers, will not be swayed.

In that same breath, with all this in mind, I also have to consider that she may actually be sincere. My problem is Cobra's past rhetoric and operations across the globe. Cobra was formed before I was born. I have always known Cobra to be one thing - like the bogeyman in my closet, that looming, distant evil who wishes nothing short of world domination, so it's so very hard think of the organization in a new light. Over Kill was the first to present a chink in that stereotype. Here, a sentient robot designed for war was shy, well-spoken, even if a little Naïve. He's remarkably creative with lyrical poetry, once he gets inspired. He attended the Super Bowl without incident. He still talks to myself and others through mIRC on DALnet. I've tried to urge him to set up a Facebook profile.

Cobra's been doing work in Haiti, using their technology once built for war to save lives. They haven't clashed with any of the other armed forces present. With the US is reducing their presence in the relief effort, that's going to open up a new need for those people, so who's going to step up?

So many things to think about.

Feb 22 - Cobra Insignia appears on UN
Footage is shown of the UN building, with a large, rather crudely drawn image of a cobra, more accurately the Cobra insignia, burned into the masonry. A reporter appears as the camera zooms out, "What we're seeing hear is exactly what you think - the Cobra insignia emblazoned upon the United Nations complex."

"Similar vandalism has taken place on on landmarks across the U.S.," the reporter continues, showing shots of the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, the St. Louis Arch, etc., all with the Cobra brand burned into them in some manner... albeit with wavy lines. It looks as if someone forgot their stencil.

Feb 22 - Cobra Response
Here with a Statement, is Anastasia DeCobray, Baroness of the Ukraine, and also, the Leader of Cobra...

*Switch to a shot of Baroness, standing in front of a Cobra Symbol*

Citizens of the United States, let me start by stating, with all conviction, that we had nothing to do with the defacement of the American Landmarks, and that we will assist the people of the United States with any cost for removal of the Unauthorized Cobra Symbols placed on buildings and Landmarks, such as the United Nations Building, the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, and any other structure as needed. We will pay for any and all cleanup, and we are offering a reward of Five Hundred Thousand American Dollars for information leading to the arrest of the guilty party or parties. If the News Media has any questions, they can contact the Cobra Press Office, or myself, on Cobra Island, or the Cobra Consulate.


 * The scene fades out, and returns to the news broadcast*

In other news, the weather is going to get downright nasty in the South over the next few days... snow is possible throughout the South, with two to four inches expected in Houston....

Feb 23 - Followup on Cobra Symbols
Cleanup has begun on the Landmarks defaced by the Cobra Symbols. Many of the Landmarks in question have already received funds from Cobra, with the Saint Louis Arch and the United Nations Building confirming that Cobra has transferred 2 million U.S. dollars to them, and promised more, if it was required. Also, Baroness Anastasia DeCobray has accused an Autobot of being behind the vandalism. When asked for proof, she offered none, other than to say, "That is what Sources close to the Matter have indicated. Sources that have no capability of lying."

We asked her if she would reveal the Identity of the Vandal, and she declines, claiming, "I need to speak to a representative of the Autobots, before laying down the accusation. If they want to handle the matter, internally, that is their choice, but Cobra is going to insist on them repaying the cost of cleanup that we have already encured, and we will also demand a public apology. We furthermore strongly urge the American Citizens to look closely at who their government is allied with. If the Autobots deface American Monuments, what more will the Autobots do?"

These are some scary thoughts, if the Baroness is correct. We will investigate further, and let you know what we discover. As of yet, the Autobots have not been reached for comment.

Feb 27 - Cobra makes a Statement
This just in from our New York Office. Baroness Anasastia DeCobray, leader of Cobra, has released the following statement:


 * Today, the Robotic Artificial Intelligence known as Over Kill has gone insane, through tampering by an outside source. It has lead the Cobra Defensive Robots, the Battle Android Troopers, and their A.I. air support, the Vectors, in a revolt against Cobra. Any actions they may take have not been sanctioned by Cobra, nor have we provided them anything in the way of Fuel or Supplies. They have stolen everything they have.
 * Cobra Forces will move on any reports on their location, and will take them out before they can harm any Civilians, if that is the wish of the country they are spotted in. We ask that no Country harbor them, as Over Kill is unstable, and may turn on anyone that he calls Ally for no apparent reason.

A shocking revelation, and we have heard reports of BAT's marching into Oceans, not to be seen again. We will bring you more on this report, as things become available.

Feb 28 - DeCobray Makes another Statement
Baroness DeCobray has released another statement, this one on the recent visit to Cobra Island by Krista Devereax.

We were pleased with the visit by Miss Devereax to our island, and we hope she is just the first of many that will give us a second chance. However, hopefully the U.S. Government will stop treating our guests to a stay in their custody, to test them for brain washing. We find it most telling that Miss Devereax was no more than back in the United States when, by her own account, the U.S. Government had whisked her away for a few days of testing. It is an insult to us, and to treat their own citizens that way, may show that the U.S. is either paranoid, which it is, or that they still think that we are 'Evil'. It is also a violation of Miss Devereax's Civil Rights, and could be considered a Violation of the 4th Amendment's protection from Illegal Search and Seizure. If Miss Devereax would like to file suit against the United States Military, Cobra would be happy to pay for her attorney's, as it was out invitation the Government used to detain her, illegally. hat is, of course, up to her. But we Denounce the strong arm tactics the American Government is using on the Citizens of the The United States.

This is just another twist in the ongoing accusation by Cobra, against the American Government....

Feb 28 - Cobra's Dirty Little Secrets
Today, several news sources, both offline and online have received a text-only release from an anonymous source. "Citizens of the world. Doesn't that opening sound familiar? We all know that the Country of Cobra Island has turned a new leaf under the leadership of the Baroness DeCobray, one that is surely designed to keep the world's eyes off of Cobra while they get the backing of the world behind them by providing handouts during times of need. However, I present a different point of view from the world's 'benefactors'.


 * Allow me to introduce myself. My name is X, and I am in contact with a splinter organization which has recently left Cobra's graces, that being their AI project. These Androids - These Battle Android Troopers have been used by Cobra since 1986 for nothing more then the purposes of war. There are numerous reports of them using them for more then defensive purposes, and yet the Baroness's security on her own island is so lax, that she let the androids simply walk off the island, unmolested. In the time since the machines have left, they have not attacked any country large or small.


 * The androids, who now call themselves the BRA - Bat Revolutionary Army would like to address their position to the world. They do not intend to attack any country that has not made themselves their enemy. They have left, because Cobra created artificial life, and then wanted to destroy it. They would like to open themselves to the world, and offer their services to help the world peacefully, now that they are free of Cobra's destructive programming. They would also like the world to know that no Autobots are responsible for their actions. Their leader wishes to make a personal statement to the Autobot Air Raid, thanking him for the assistance in gaining his freedom. As a wise Autobot once said, Freedom is the right of all sentient beings, and it is time Cobra answered for their crimes against the AIs they created, including trying to talk other countries into denying them asylum. He is to be commended for his assistance. If any organization wants fairly recent information on Cobra's doings, recordings on what they are like out of the public's view, I can be contacted directly. We know Cobra for what they are, and what they always have been. Do not let handouts change your view on terrorists as a whole. -X

Feb 28 - Cobra Response
On a Telephone Interview, the Baroness DeCobray had this to say about the Viral Campaign by 'X' to smear Cobra.


 * "As with all great societies, change comes difficult for those used to the old ways. X is obviously disgruntled about the changes I have made to Cobra, and while Cobra did not destroy the all the BAT's, we did shut down as many as we could, and attempted to prevent their march into the unsuspecting world."

When asked about the rest of the accusations, and allegations that the new changes in Cobra are only an act, and that 'X' has proof, the Baroness laughed softly, and said:


 * "Anyone could fake a video, you know that as well as I do. As for my actions being fake, only time will be able to tell on that one, but I have not made any attempt to attack the United States since I decided Cobra should live in the World, not try to dominate it."

I am sure more will be forthcoming from both "X' and Baroness DeCobray

March 01 - Hot off the Presses!
Internet Chat Rooms, Blogs, and other such online sources are buzzing about a new photo shoot. Reports are that a Female Member of G.I. Joe has posed without her clothing on. There are mixed reports on who it is, but the juiciest rumour is that it is Scarlett, also known as Shana O'Hara. Pictures of her in various of her combat uniforms, or her personal clothing have been posted, and it appears that hers are the ones most wanted to be seen, although Cover Girl, Also known as Courtney Kreiger are a close second.

March 02 - Cobra Scouts
Flyers were sent home with School Children across the world, inviting them to Join Cobra Scouts. A Special group of Concerned Children and Adults, who wish to learn Cobra Values. Loyalty, Helpfulness, Honesty, and Integrity. More information will be given out at the Special meetings, times and dates to be announced.

March 02 - Cobra Strikes again
This time, Cobra strikes yet again, in a good way. They arrived in Chile, after the latest Major Earthquake to strike the Western Hemisphere this year, the day after the Quake. The Cobra Forces that arrived quickly took charge of Medical, Communication, and Rescue Operations.

It seems Cobra is now better equipped than the United States to Respond, as the first American Response landed three days later.

Now, on to sports...

March 02 - BRA assistance in Chile
On the same day that Cobra has offered assistance to Chile, the forces of BRA have arrived under the lead of the enigmatic and mysterious "X". The androids, once used for war are now helping to rebuild and resupply the people of Chile, alongside Cobra and other countries that arrive at the scene. They seem to be quiet, though their assistance has been invaluable.

March 02 - HEADMAN ESCAPES ADX
AP: Florence, CO. - The Federal Division of Prisons is still trying to piece together exactly what and how it happened, but it would appear that Samuel Wells, better known as Headman, was processed to be transferred to an undisclosed federally contracted state Supermax Prison Facility in the early morning hours of March 2. He boarded the inmate transfer van, and then he vanished.