2014

Jan 02 - Spiked pit

 * While it was a general rule that parties in the PIT, such as the celebratory Christmas/holiday party, are dry bar ones, sometimes things can get out of hand.

Alert staff quickly realized though someone had heavily spiked the punch at the new years' eve party, although it was too late for several greenshirts and Joes who ended up somewhat inebriated at a fast pace. The offending drink was quickly removed, replaced, and put under guard, and security is acting to try and find the culprits.

Slipstream claims all innocence.

January 3 - Take A Chance

 * Snake-Eyes does an impromptu spar with Chance.

January 3 - Sim You Later

 * Snake-Eyes gives Nightingale the show of a lifetime. Also? Push-Ups.

January 5 - Debriefly

 * Snake-Eyes decides to do a little recon after chatting with Wild Bill.

January 8
Sutherland Munitions Works is acquired by MARS and the name shortened to Sutherland Works.

January 9 - New Church in Waco, Texas
Almost overnight, a new church has sprung up in Waco. I've heard they worship Snakes, or something.

January 10 - Fight in Rockefeller Plaza
Dateline: January 10, 2014: 12:14 am BREAKING NEWS

A fight just occurred in New York City's Rockefeller Plaza. The combatants were a human female, red hair, and in a uniform that appears to match that of Scarlett, of the United States G.I. Joe team, and a Robot.... This Robot used advanced weaponary, including a missile launcher.


 * Footage of Scarlett and Over Kill's fight is running while the newscaster is speaking. Scenes include Scarlett taking a Machete to the shoulder, Over Kill firing a Rocket Launcher that goes over Scarlett's head into a building, Scarlett using a katana to cut Over Kill from Crotch to stomach, sweeping Over Kill to the ground, straddling him and shoving a knife in his chest, shooting him in the head, and finally punching him and Over Kill shutting down*

It appears that Scarlett was able to disable the robot, before a G.I. Joe helicopter took her from the scene, and an unknown unit of troops took the robot away. The Department of Defense has released no statement, and no one from G.I. Joe was available for comment.

We do know that the building that was hit by the rocket launcher was an office building, but at this time, the loss of life has not been disclosed.

In other news, the record cold blast continues to bring freezing temperatures across the northern parts of the United States....

January 12 - New Cult, or New Religion?

 * Written in the Editorial Section of the Waco Tribune Herald, and also carried in the Houston Chronicle and the Dallas Morning News*

Is it a Cult, or a Religion? By Herman R. Trumpletter

The Mount Caramel Center, just NorthEast of Waco, known as the sight of the Branch Davidian Cult's last stand against the United States Government (The ATF, FBI, and Texas National Guard), has a new owner. It is called the Church of the Coiled Serpent, and it is teaching love and harmony, and asking 'What Would Christ's Commander Do?" Now, I can not hazard a guess as to who this 'Christ's Commander' is, nor who is running the place. All I know for sure, is that when I went out to speak to someone, the Compound is once again, surounded by walls, and there is a gate, where you ring a bell.

Once you are let in, you are escorted by an acolyte, to the two story building, which is done in modren furniture, not really looking much like a church. The female acolyte I spoke to was in her late 30's, black hair, blue eyes, looked like your typical wid-western woman. She was rearing a red robe, with a hood, but there was something that stood out. She was a cyborg. One eye, and both hands had been replaced by mechanical parts. I tried to get her to talk about them, but she only would say, "It happened in my previous life". She only identified herself as 'Priestess Diana', and refused to give any further information about herself, saying only that she had been saved by the church, and she was here, in Waco, to help save others.

I asked her about the Church, and what teaching it followed, and she told me it followed the New Testament, the Old Testament, and the question, "What would Christ's Commander do?". When asked who was Christ's Commander, she smiled, and said, "I am. You are. Everyone is. Everyone can be a Commander for Christ, if they will only take up the call, and remember that leading by example is Christ did, and if we can only do the same, the world will be better for it."

I left after a short tour, but I can help but wonder, why choose the location they did, if they have no other motives? Why choose the Coiled Serpent as their name, if they are a Christian Church? Do they handle snakes?

I have heard rumors of people that have joined, and have never left the compound. I have heard of wealthy people joining, and their entire fortunes being donated to the Church.

I ask again, is this a Church, or is it a Cult? We here in Waco have had experience with a Cult, and what can happen if the Government wants to shut it down, dare we wait for another Feb 28, through April 19, 1993? I know I, for one, don't. We can nip it in the bud, now, if they are a Cult, and we can see about making sure the Government knows they are not a Clut, or of any danger to us, if they are a Church.

If you have any comments, please send all of them to my email address, or to me here at the newspaper.

January 13
First Aid was able to reverse the effects of the Dweller virus on the Weatherbots, using a modified version of the cure developed by Jetfire and Starscream.

January 14 - GI Joe Mobilizes to thaw out the US

 * Reports have come in that along with the standard army and air force, GI Joe has mobilized its' own forces to assist with delivering fuel, food, and manpower to dig out snowed-in Americans across the nation. Utilizing Hercules aircraft, helicopters and snowmobiles they have been active for at least twenty four hours, starting in the hardest-hit areas and moving out, focusing on those who were in the most dire need and were furthest from 'rescue areas'. Some people who's houses had begun to collapse in as well were also air lifted or assisted to local evacuation centres.

January 19 - Introducing Nightingale

 * Scarlett inadvertently designates Dr. Miller's Codename.

January 19 - Dee to the Rescue?
Deanna is out late, and meets a Nightraven. 'Can I keep it Momma?'

January 21 - Explosion in Rural Pennsylvania
Late Tuesday afternoon, the rural area of Old Shoe Township was rocked by a large explosion. The blast originated at a fracking site. Reports say that a heated battle between Autobots and Decepticons caused the explosion, although there is currently no video evidence at this time. We'll keep you updated as details come in.

February 6 - Battle Plans
The Baroness discusses her upcoming 'invasion' of Frusenland with first, Interrogator, and later, Major Bludd.

February 08 - News Report

 * >mentioned at the end of a Broadcast<

The annual 'Reindeer Festival' will be starting this week in Frusenland. Prime Minister Jarl Aune will be on hand to start the month long festivities with a speech, and the traditional first skinning...


 * >The broadcast finishes with the latest Olympic Results<

February 11, 2014 - Money Trouble
Baroness speaks to Tomax and Xamot about the financial situation of Cobra.

February 12 - Double E Returns
-You come upon a news report detailing the mundane daily business report-

"And now with a /fascinating/ run down of todays business news. Guy Smiley, Take it away Guy!"


 * "Thanks Chuck, in the news today the stock market held steady, technology stocks stayed strong. Agriculture fell 3 points... And French siblings Giuseppe and Giovanni Paoli  have reemerged from what was apparently a very long and secretive retreat into the French Alps. Business insiders have not seen the pair in what most are estimating to be years. The Twin brothers, who headed up the former global powerhouse that was Extensive Enterprises are apparently trying to strike gold a second time. Will they focus on media and private security as they have in the past? Or go a new direction? The experts are torn. Insiders and those with unique perspective on the pair believe they will be or may have already taken what was left of their personal assets and attempted to kick start the very company they seemingly left to slowly fizzle out. Can these two do it? This reporter doesn't know, but by golly it should be exciting to watch them try!


 * "Guy Smiley, out! Back to you Chuck."


 * Uh... Thanks, Guy...Riveting..really.


 * -You quickly change the channel, having just lost five minutes of an otherwise productive evening.-

February 14 - "Operation Petal Drop"
It's Valentine's Day! So what's a lovelorn mech to do? Why, impress the girl of his dreams.......with flowers.

February 17 - Geopolitical Climate Change
Artemis assassinates the Prime Minister of Frusenland, to begin Phase One of Cobra's Frusenland Invasion Operation: Popsicle

Mar 11 - Colorado Rumors
There have been rumors of an obvious dye-jobbed blonde in Colorado, by the name of Tequila Strangelove, asking questions about some Doctor named Eddie. She's been going around to Lawyers, Drug Dealers, and even the cops, asking where this 'Eddie' might be. The only other interesting rumor is that she has a killer body, and dresses like a porn star.

Mar 11 - Viral Video from Alberta!
It seems spring exuberance has come to the city of Medicine Hat, located in the south-western part of Alberta. A local weather-woman and her field team were playfully assaulted by a blond haired man in his mid twenties, who engaged the reporters in a brief but furious snowball fight during a live broadcast. The video, uploaded two days ago on YouTube, has already gotten over a half million hits.

((OOC: Inspiration))

Mar 23 - Tanks for the Beer?
A new kind of tank has shown up in the PIT this morning:

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8116589056/h11A8A3A8/

It even had a license plate, and fuzzy dice in the window, parked quite adorably between two actual tanks.