User blog:Spikewitwicky/January 27th, 2015 - Spike's Journal Entry



Well... that was kinda awkward.

Still no word from A3. Just know I need to stay the hell away from Autobot City and wait for a call. I don't even have a communicator right now. I'm hoping at least someone from the Autobots will know how to operate a simple cell phone, because that's all I have right now.

Anyway - Judy. Judy and I have never been especially close. She's my aunt. I love her. And her and Ron watched Buster while dad and I were with the Autobots. She referred to our time as galavanting. I think she meant it as a joke, but it's one of those phrases - and tones - where you can disguise it as a joke, but you really mean what you're saying. Dad and I have seen the Earth almost tore apart by the Decepticons, we've both sustained life-threatening injuries, we've both been kidnapped. And we've both seen Autobots die in battle. No. Galavanting is following your favorite band for a summer. What we've done is about as far from galavanting as I can imagine.

So much of Judy and I's (is that correct? I's?) interaction revolves around this white elephant in the room called Buster. Whenever I see her, I can't help but think she's addressing me as "the person who broke up the Witwicky family during the time when Buster needed a father most). It may be false, she may not think that anymore, but I can't help but think she still thinks that. And that makes me nervous. And I know that reflects when I talk to her, which probably makes her nervous. Sort of a toxic cycle, huh?

Regardless, it's too late. What's done has been done. Buster is doing great. I'm guessing he'll eventually work in an academic setting once he gets his doctorine. And I know I've written about this before in other journals, but I think it's worth restating...

I believe Judy thinks dad came to a crossroads, and he had to choose either the needs of me, or Buster. For me, it was helping the Autobots, and taking advantage of something that isn't even "once in a liftetime" - it's a "one in the universe" opportunity...if that makes sense. For Buster, it would have been all three of us trying to reforge what our family dynamic looked like after mom died. Yes, she died 3 years before we met the Autobots, but that kind of loss is an ongoing process. Heck, I think about her every day.

But it's not as 'black and white' (says the person who Sparkplug sided with). When dad volunteered to help the Autobots, yes, he volunteered because he wanted to help. He saw someone in need, and he offered his help. He's like that. But I think in the back of his mind, he was thinking that THIS opportunity would be the opportunity that set up both of his kids. This would be the opportunity that would lead to scholarships or financial aid - ensuring both Buster and I would get a college education and be provided for. And while dad never talked about bills, I had eyes when I was 14. We were barely making the house payment at that time. Yet alone having a spare $30,000 on the side for each of us to go to college.

Of course, that never happened. The money didn't exactly come in. The benevolent causes (academic, research-oriented) weren't exactly flush in cash. And Sparkplug had this character flaw called integrity. So, he flat-out refused having the Autobots be product-shillers for anything from STP oil cleaner to Pepsi. So there went the big money. Also, dad may have a steel beam facade, but he's a softie underneath. Therefore, a lot of the information he could have parsed out for a price, he usually gave away for free to schools or any charity (those rare times he agreed to be in front of the camera). Best laid plans, I know.

So, after 4 years of this life, what did that give us? About $25,000 to split between Buster and me for college. I flunked out. Buster lost scholarships when he lost interest in his studies in his senior year. And... to be honest, we probably ended up no better than we would have if we had never met the Autobots - at least financial-wise. But what we did gain was an experience no other person in the world has ever been able to experience (save Carly, Daniel , Megan , and Chip).

Dad took a very calculated risk: take this opportunity. Use it to provide for his kids. And due to the uniqueness of the situation, I would say it would have worked 49 out of 50 times. But we happened to fall into that dreaded 'one' that didn't work out. But we did work out - just not the way we originally thought. Anyway - it's getting late. I need to talk to Crosscut about how to break this cycle between Judy and I. I can't help but think she keeps seeing me as not Spike but "the guy who messed up his brother for his formative years - and about a decade beyond that." And I know it affects the way I talk to her.

Anyway - enough of that. Dad seemed to enjoy hanging out with his brother. But The two are definite oil and water. At 8 p.m., Ron was breaking open the scotch and playing Duke Ellington. Dad could barely keep his eyes open. But tomorrow, dad will most likely have finished a 1-mile walk (with Helperbot ) and fixed that annoying whistle sound in Ron's car, had breakfast, and read the newspaper before Ron even wakes up at 7:30 a.m. Spikewitwicky (talk) 15:57, January 27, 2015 (UTC)