One Heck of a Cartwheel

Log Title: One Heck of a Cartwheel Characters: Ar-Gent Silverfinger, Odd_Jaws, Springer, Red Alert, Just-Hiss, Spike, Nightstalker Location: Mount Saint Helens Date: December 17, 2018 TP: King of Cats TP Summary: Ar-Gent is going to sneak into the heavily defended Ark! So first, he needs a big distraction. As logged by  Skuld (OOC)

Log session starting at 18:07:38 on Monday, 17 December 2018.

'''Ar-Gent Silverfinger stages his minions just out of radar range of the Ark, hunkered down out of sight. "Alright, just do you're all clear on the plan." He lights up an enercig as he turns to the sharks and Odd Jaws. "I need you to put on your best performance today, men. Really sell it. If the Autobots are looking at you, you're doing it right. Don't be afraid to get physical."'''

'''The Sharkticon known as Odd Jaws slowly lifts his head, his one red-scoped eye focusing on Ar-Gent. He pauses, as if considering his orders. Physical, eh? He lets out a chuckle, and clamps his three-pronged hand. His gaze wanders downward where a piece of scrap lays. Perhaps one of the other sharkbots dropped it, or it fell off of them. His big hand reaches down to pick it up. His metal maw opens up, that reinforced mandible of his. He raises his arm, and overshoots his mouth by a full yalm. He clumsily tries to feed himself, never quite having the range of motion needed to do so.'''

'''Ar-Gent Silverfinger nods approval. He turns to one of the other sharks and wags a finger at him. "Now, Nibbles, I know you've had some trouble, but I don't want another Baby Shark incident. Stick to the script." That settled, the charismatic mech addresses the humans, who are looking at the robot sharks with misgivings.'''

Odd_Jaws:

'A stout Sharkticon that has been partially mangled/reformatted. He's been painted to appear to be wearing a formal black and white suit, complete with bow tie. His teeth have been moderately enhanced, he wears a razor-sharp top hat at a jaunty angle, and his left arm has been replaced with a malicious large, clampy arm, with three large tines on it for grabbing prey.'

'''Odd_Jaws lamely bites at the scrap, still alms out of his reach. He gives up, and opens his hand, letting it fall. The Sharkticon returns to his neutral position, probably already having forgotten the incident. His focus moves to the humans. Odd Jaws' mouth opens up a little, in what /might/ be a friendly smile, but just looks altogether creepy.'''

'''Ar-Gent Silverfinger leans down a bit to address the organic minions. "Now, your job is to spread out, keep an eye for additional trouble. If the Autobots' attention starts to wander, you'll escalate things. They're protective of humans, so if you and the sharks look like you're fighting, they might jump in on your side. In any case, I gave you some properly loud guns, so if you want to announce yourselves, you've got the means." Ar-Gent puffs thoughtfully on the enercig. "Don't throw your lives away just to make a scene. I paid good money for your services, and I'd like the arrangement to last a while."'''

'''The back up sharks maneuver a bit stiffly, trying to figure out their places. There's a bit of shoving amongst them before they seem to sort themselves out behind Odd Jaws.'''

'''Ar-Gent favors them with a bright smile. "Excellent! Let's get to our places! I'll see you on the other side." And with that, the dapper mech vanishes from sight.'''

The human mercenaries, being smarter than the sharks, scatter to go hide among the rocks of the volcano's slope.

'''It's a perfectly ordinary day at the Ark. A bit gloomy and cold, but that's to be expected in December. Everything seems peaceful and calm, right up until a troop of shark-like robots emerge from the rocks near the Ark. There's some shuffling around and confusion, and then two of the shark robots (that happen to have hands) begin snapping fingers. Hiding in various places nearby are human mercenaries, kitted out for the cold and waiting for their cue.'''

Meanwhile, the dapper spy AR-GENT SILVERFINGER works his silent way over towards the Ark itself, getting into position while the minions do their jobs.

<> Ar-Gent Silverfinger says, "Good, good. Keep that up. Let's see who bites."

<> Vizier Just-Hiss says, "Do you need ssomething bitten, Ar-Gent?"

<> Ar-Gent Silverfinger says, "Not yet! Putting on a bit of a show for our friends."

'''Odd_Jaws shambles along with the shark robots, the prongs on his large left hand clicking out of sync with the others. He shuffles forward, and moves between the others to move to the head of the procession. Clearly, he needs more work done. The Sharkticon gazes about with one large red optic that sends a tracking beam forward towards whereever he looks. When the group reaches their destination he stops suddenly. His head looks down at his barrel-chested frame, and after two beats, he starts to move his foot, stamping into the ground in time with the rhythm.'''

'''Red Alert sits on the side of Mount St. Hilary, lost in thought. While not usually one for much introspection, Red's has some losses recently, and has returned to the Ark to do some thinking about his future and his place within the Autobots. However, even while distracted, it doesn't take something with his super-Cybertronian hearing to notice a pair of -- no, make that three -- shark-bots setting up for a dance fight in front of the former Autobot Headquarters. '''

'''Red Alert stands, retrieving his rifle. His first instinct is to set off alarms in every Autobot in the area, but after being recently chastised by Backblast for exactly that behavior, Red decides to investigate first. Holding his rifle close to his chest, he starts his way down the mountain towards the Sharks. "Halt!" he calls out, with unusual uncertainty. "Identify yourselves!"'''

<> Director Red Alert says, "Ahem. North American Autobots. We seem to have... dancing sharks outside the Ark."

'''As Red Alert descends to investigate, weapon drawn, he sees the sight of Odd Jaws, the horribly rearranged Sharkticon, painted to look like he is wearing a provincial tuxedo. His optical targeting laser alights on Red Alert, his foot still moving to the beat. He jerks his head to the side, the shark robots behind him repeat the motion. He repeats it, and so do the robot sharks. Music is piped in from behind them, a low synthetic beat, that Odd Jaws turns for. Red Alert might find the dance familiar if he had studied 1980s Michael Jackson.'''

<> Springer says, "Dancing... sharks? Ok.. that's odd, even by Wrecker standards. On my way out."

'''Springer puts action to his words as the tall Wrecker comes out of the Ark shortly afterwards, having been at the Ark trying to find a nice surprise for... someone.. and stops juste outside and scanning around to see where Red Alert is as well as looking for these 'dancing' sharks.'''

GAME: Red Alert FAILS an INTELLIGENCE roll of Immense difficulty.

'''Ar-Gent Silverfinger watches.. and is a bit disappointed. Two Autobots? Is that all who's around to face his minions? Ah, well, a villain must persevere. He sides up to the entrance and activates a little trinket Sci-Nide gave him that mimics a certain patsy, er, Autobot's transponder signature. As far as the Ark is concerned, Cliffjumper just got back from patrol early. And that means the door stays open long enough for the dapper spy to slip inside, still practically invisible.'''

<> Ar-Gent Silverfinger says, "Keep it up, fellas."

'''Red Alert is on the slopes between the Sharks and the Ark, weapon at the ready but not quite pointed at the dancing visitors. "Down here, sir," he calls up to Springer, not taking his optics off the weird spectacle in front of him. Red is strangely calm in the face of this unusual security threat. He's clearly off his game, however, as he's completely taken in by this diversion and allows Ar-Gent to slip completely past him. This isn't going to help his confidence in the future.'''

'''The human henchmen stay in cover. So far, it looks like they're not needed, and they're not eager to risk their skins jumping in between a bunch of giant robots. They keep their heads down, but a sharp optic might still spot them.'''

GAME: Red Alert FAILS an INTELLIGENCE roll of Immense difficulty.

'''Springer briefly pauses as he looks around for this Sir.. expecting to see Prime before he looks back to Red Alert, finally walking over towards him, the Wrecker showing no great concern about the sharks, "Oookkkaaay.. definitely a touch unusual." He stops near the other bot, arms crossing.'''

GAME: Red Alert FAILS an INTELLIGENCE roll of Immense difficulty.

'''The automated speaker system wired to some of the shark bots starts to play a very similar, but not exactly copyright, version of thriller. Yes, Evil Inc. is so cheap, they'd rather avoid paying royalties for Earth music. Odd Jaws is a bit slow on some of the moves, letting out a low, "Gruh!" when he does the crotch grab. His arm swings wide during the 'claws' part, clocking one of the shark bots, and knocks it over. He actually steps onto it, dealing more damage as he claws again as some sort of undead of some sort. Undead robots. That can't be real.'''

GAME: Red Alert PASSES an INTELLIGENCE roll of Immense difficulty.

'''"They aren't talking, sir. I don't think they're Quintesson - this might be another ploy by The Huntress to think they're Quintessons, however." Red frowns. "Huntress used sound clips from Earth media for her laughter and shrieks... this Earth music might be the next evolution." Red's optics suddenly widen, and his head snaps towards Springer, finally taking his gaze off the Sharks. "Spike was showing DJ Faireborn around the Ark - if the Huntress is looking for more victims, this time on Earth...."'''

'''Springer just watches the sharks, "This.. is kinda obvious. Not exactly subtle." He takes a step off to one side, scanning around again for any signs of anything, "Would be best to make sure they are warned."'''

'''Well, the giant robots are losing interest in the shark robots. That's the cue for the emergency backup plan. One of the hidden mercenaries opens fire with a loud (but not terribly effective) machine gun in the general direction of the sharks. As if a switch was thrown, three more open fire from all around. Dust and stone chips spray up from the ground.'''

'''Red Alert nods. He radios, << Attention, Autobots. We have a potential infiltrator in the Ark. Please consider yourselves warned. Arm yourself and get to safe quarters if necessary. >> He turns back to Springer. "Should I investigate myself, or stay here to back you up, sir?" At that moment, however, gunfire erupts from hidden points further along the mountain. Red's reaction is instantaneous - he moves quickly to protect Springer from fire not ultimately aimed at him.'''

'''<> Director? Red Alert says, "Attention, Autobots. We have a potential infiltrator in the Ark. Please consider yourselves warned. Arm yourself and get to safe quarters if necessary."'''

Somewhere else in the universe, a single hair falls onto a laser rifle, and causes it to discharge.

'''Here on Earth, a wildly-rewired Sharkticon gets shot at just enough to raise his hair-trigger temper. Odd Jaws looks towards the humans firing weapons, and in a single blink, reverts back into his Sharkticon mode. That wide maw opens up, the Frikkin Laser atop starts to direct him towards the henchmen. He plows into the Shark Robots, biting and rending anything in his way to get to the quite possibly inedible humans in his way!'''

'''As if someone had anticipated this possible outcome, the Thriller song ends abruptly, being replaced by a loud guitar riff. Odd Jaws bites into one of the shark robots, his powerful teeth tearing a huge hole out of it as he thrashes forwards!'''

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGwEiiVyPwA

<> Nightstalker says, "We have an infiltrator. The Ark's mainframe has been accessed."

<> Spike says, "Oh no!"

'''Springer reaches up and... whaps Red Alert on the back of his head. "Your duty is security. Deal with the infiltrator... I'll deal with this." He steps around Red Alert and moves closer to the 'fight', rolling his shoulders a bit as he loosens up a bit, "I could use a warm-up if they keep being stupid like this."'''

'''Now that blood has been spilled, okay, energon, the sharks all react as you might expect a bunch of sharks to react to a fight. They start biting whatever's in reach.'''

'''>> Sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams misses Springer with Bite. <<'''

'''>> Sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams misses Red Alert with Bite. <<'''

>> Red Alert retreats from the area, leaving himself open to Warlord, Odd_Jaws, Skuld, and Springer.<<

'''Red Alert adds being whapped on the head by a superior officer to his list of humiliations this week. Nodding in shame, Red turns, moving rapidly towards the Ark entrance. << Secure yourself within the Ark! >> he radios ahead. << I'm on my way! >> Stopping at the door, he frowns to find it open. Checking the logs, he finds the airlock last accessed by Cliffjumper. '''

'''"But Cliffjumper already checked in this morning," Red muses in alarm, sliding the door open further to head inside, weapon ready. Hearing Sharks behind him, he leaps inside, slamming the door shut behind him. << Springer! >> he radios. << Call me if you need help! >> Trusting Springer to Wreck'n Rule on his own, however, Red heads further into the Ark.'''

'''<> Director? Red Alert says, "Secure yourself within the Ark! I'm on my way!"'''

Red Alert sends a radio transmission.

(INTERCEPT): Red Alert radio's Springer with "Springer! Call me if you need help!".

'''(INTERCEPT): Springer recieves "Springer! Call me if you need help!" from Red Alert.'''

 When I see what I want I'm going to take it.

If it's against some law, You can bet I'll break it!

'''Odd Jaws rakes his other hand against another of the Shark robots as he approaches. Some of the henchmen start to scatter before him, and yet the Sharkticon pursues. Conveniently there's a rock for two of them to hide behind.'''

 My need to feed gives me the will to survive.

I gotta find it fast to keep me alive

'''Panting, the two mercs reload their primary weapons, and switch off to grenades. And then a shadow looms. Half of the rock just disintegrates into the mouth of a very, very angry Sharkticon, who finally gets to vent his own frustrations on the world. Feeling exposed, the two henchmen start to move, only to be caught in Odd Jaws' pinchy arm!'''

He raises them to his mouth, those massive jaws opening.

HUNGER

I want it so...

'''Odd Jaws pauses. He shakes his hand, rattling the two humans around. They grunt and struggle in his grip.'''

No metal.

He drops them thirty feet from his hand, and turns around, seeing the shark robots opening fire.

HUNGER

I want it so bad, I can taste it!

'''Springer takes note of the human mercs but does not engage them as a few of the sharks go after him. He dodges at the last second and dodges forward, half leaning over to grab at one shark and throw it at one of it's fellows, "Here, catch!" For the moment he just tracks the Sharkticon but its not attackign hom or the Ark yet so he doesnt engage it.. yet.'''

'''>> Springer strikes Sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams with Throw. <<'''

'''>> Henchmen fails its generic combat roll against Sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams. <<'''

'''The mercenaries are good, but there's only so much you can do against rampaging giant robots. Two may have escaped Odd Jaws, but the other two find themselves pinned down while robot sharks tear their way through rock to get at them. There's no telling what the sharks will do when they reach the tender, vulnerable, body-armor wearing humans!'''

'''When next we pick up with Odd Jaws, he's somehow managed to end up chasing a rogue shark bot down to the highway. His mismatched arms hold it still as he devours it. Good thing they weren't sapient! As he surveys the area, looking for more food, a semi passes by, carrying a load of pipes. Perhaps this sort of thing happens often enough that most drivers don't even pay attention anymore. Nevertheless, Odd Jaws trails off onto the highway, no doubt ready to give everyone a bad day as he seeks to sate his...HUNGER.'''

'''Springer watches OddJaws wander off into the highway, a brief sigh escaping as hunting down Sharkticons is rather annoying, but for now he simple focuses on what is happening /here/ and moves quickly to deal with the remaing sharks.. as well as putting himself between the mercs and the things with laers on their heads, "Get behind me.. and don't even /think/ of shooting me. I'll deal with you here shortly."'''

'''Oh, hey, an invitation to dinner! The remaining sharks are glad to sit down to dinner with Springer, since he volunteered. They snap at the heroic Wrecker with their nasty, pointy teeth!'''

'''>> Sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams misses Springer with Bite. <<'''

<> Ar-Gent Silverfinger says, "We're made! Get to the rendevous or stay behind!"

'''The humans stay behind Springer.. at first. But there's chatter on the radios built into their helmets and they run for it, quickly joining up with the rest and leaving the sharks behind.'''

'''Springer growls in annoyance.. but he isn't going to hurt humans that aren't managing to hurt him or someone he is protecting. Instead he simple steps forward, saying, "Time for a field goal attmept" And kicks at one of the sharks, deciding to see how far he can kick one of them.'''

'''>> Springer strikes Sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams with Kick. <<'''

<> Springer says, "These... toy sharks are mostly down. The humans are running.. and the Sharkticon is taking the highway option. Literally."

<> Nightstalker says, "In the... shuttle bay..."

'''Springer earns 3 points as the shark sails well past the end zone. Poor Nibbles, we hardly knew ye. The remaining shark, finding itself all alone now, has a sudden attack of sanity and runs, turning into landshark mode to swim across the rocks and dirt a little faster. Green Autobots are scary!'''

'''Springer holds up his arms in the air, "Goal!" He starts to chase the remaining shark but pauses at the radio and lets it go as he trie to asses the situation.'''

The distant sound of a shuttle launching comes from the Ark.

<> Springer says, "Do you need assistance inside? Outer perimeter is secure. For now anyways"

<> Spike says, "We're *cough* all right... thanks *cough* to Night *cough* Stalk *cough* er"

<> Nightstalker says, "Intruder has escaped. I'm moving to assess that was accessed."

'''<<Autobot>> Director? Red Alert says, "I will get to the bridge and coordinate from there."'''

<<Autobot>> Nightstalker says, "They definitely got something. It's going to take a while to crack this encryption, but one search result stands out: Casey Arkeville."

<<Autobot>> Spike says, "Wait...wait...hold up - Casey Arkeville? What about him?"

<<Autobot>> Nightstalker says, "If I'm interpreting this directly, our assailant was searching our files for information on him. I'm not sure what they got -- I might need the help of Eject or Rewind on this."

<<Autobot>> Spike says, "*still catching his breath* He...helped the Autobots...regain Metroplex a few years back. But when the Joes were able to get on their feet...they took him. He's in their maximum security detention area - with the most dangerous of criminals and terrorists."

'''<<Autobot>> Director? Red Alert says, "Nightstalker, did you recognize our assailant? Was it the Huntress?"'''

<<Autobot>> Nightstalker says, "No. I only got a glance, but I recognized him from Earth transmissions. It was the Evil Junkion -- Ar-Gent Silverfinger."

<<Autobot>> Spike says, "I'll put out a call to the EDC and tell the Joes to anticipate someone coming for Dr. Arkeville - and to either move him to a more secure and secluded area, or up their security."