User blog:Bzero/US Accuses Cobra of Assassinations

Hector Ramirez appears on Fox News, resplendent mustache in full effect. In somewhat breathless tones, he reports, “Late last week the U.S. State Department issued another claim that Cobra Unity is behind the series of assassinations that have plagued Frusenland’s government over the past several months. Submitting what they claim is new evidence…” A grainy security capture of a hooded figure appears on screen over Ramirez’s left shoulder, “…the State Department contends that the latest attack, this time on Acting Interior Minister Gösta Holgersen, was perpetrated by this man. They assert he is the wanted criminal Zartan, known associate of Cobra. “A representative of Cobra Unity denied the claim.” The image is replaced by a Tele-Viper, who says, “Cobra peacekeepers were invited into Frusenland by their interim government. Our mission is to provide protection and security. The claims of the U.S. are both false and insulting. We will find the real killer behind the attacks, and when we do, he will be brought to justice.”

Ramirez goes on to bloviate for the next half hour, calling into question the State Department’s claims down to if the photo is really of Zartan, whether Zartan is still considered an associate of Cobra, and seemingly whatever else pops into his head during his show.