User blog:Bzero/SGU: Lack of Progress Report

Emperor Prime appears on his throne in the Autobot Base in Iacon, and he doesn’t look pleased. His crimson optics glower as he leans forward and records the following in his deep, threatening Venger-from-Dungeons-&-Dragons voice:

“Autobots, I am very disappointed by the lack of progress in the completion of the Ark. If I have to start sending engineers to the Smelting Pit to properly motivate you, I will. Jetfire, torture or execute anyone you have to, but get the Ark complete before Cybertron enters the Plait Expanse, or I’m holding you responsible. I won’t kill you, no – I’ll take a cutter to your laser core until all of your intelligence is stripped away, and use you as a mindless combat drone instead.

“Also, the weapons controls on the Ark launchpad aren’t working. If I have to go down there and fix them myself, I’ll take that as an indication I don’t need my Science and Construction division, since you all seem entirely incompetent. I’ll therefore have you all melted down for more constructive use if you can’t complete your jobs in a reasonable timetable. I will be down again soon to check on your progress, and I intend to bring my ion blaster.

“I trust I’ve made myself clear.”

With a wave of his hand, Prime ends his transmission.