User blog:Spikewitwicky/May 21st, 2018 - Spike's Journal Entry



I'm at Newark Airport. I spent Saturday in Prague as a panel member for a gathering of scientific, social, and political leaders about the Autobots' role in world affairs.

I was SUPPOSED to head back home, but my plane got delayed. Yes, I could call an Aerialbot, but as an ambassador, I don't want to lose my humanity. That's what the Autobots hired me on as. And that includes as much as the human experience as possible, including this process of waiting for hours on delayed flights. Anyway, it gives me time to look at a few magazines. I THOUGHT I was doing good. But Crosscut lightly admonished me for my reading for being too Eurocentric. So, in short, less New Yorker and The Atlantic, more Financial Times and Lebanon Times.

Anyway, while I was at a bar, this Sean Connery looking guy named "Alistar" started making conversation with me. I was ready to go into ambassador mode, but he just had me relay a message to Lady Jaye. He didn't care a lick about the 'bots. I'm just an errand boy. He told me that Destro wasn't dead, but he didn't say for sure. It was like someone who was so enamored by a person that they couldn't believe that that person is dead. Think of people who legitimately believe 2Pac is alive (the new Elvis - because if Elvis actually faked his death, he'd probably be dead by now anyway, given his health).

Anyway, this 'Alistar' also said that while Destro was alive, he wasn't back at his castle. That someone ELSE was assuming his identity.

Whatever. Get the message to Lady Jaye.

He actually had the audacity to say "we'll be in touch."

Hardly - but just to make sure, I'll have the Autobots scan me when I come home for any planted bugging devices. But the only way Alistar could contact me is through my Twitter handle.

So, Crosscut...back to him. Alistar leaves, and suddenly, I get this feeling of massive depression and failure. It was brief (it didn't help that I was on my second beer on an empty stomach). Crosscut has me now working on making certain tangible goals for EACH year. Goals that can be met and measured. I had a goal of establishing one human contact per country to discuss any concerns with the Autobots. This would be totally independent from EDC - because many countries have issues with the Joes. This is STRICTLY Autobots. It's a bold initiative, especially since I'm still doing work in the repair bay, and now helping build Super Fort (speaking of which, Grapple's cool tech has made me able to easily scope out a design where the Fort transforms - I LIKE it, but it's REALLY boxy). Anyway... I thought it was a good goal.

But Crosscut ALSO wants me to effectively communicate the Autobots' goals and cause to "one unique person a day."

OK, first off, this goal is stupid. There are like more than six billion people on this planet. If I were to do ONE a day... good lord, in 3 years, that's a thousand people. How the hell can I make progress like that? Secondly, some days, I'm NOT around humans. Some days, I'm in the repair bay, doing an all-day repair on Hound. And finally, I'm NOT going to be a damn Jehovah's witness. If I were to follow Crosscut's lead, if a person sees me, they would think the first words that come out of my mouth is "Has anyone told you about the good news the Autobot cause is doing for this Earth?" People would flee as if I were infected.

I've seen that with the very few people I talked with in high school. One guy wanted to catch up with me. I agreed to meet him for beers. And right after I told him about stuff, he was asking about my insurance coverage (yes, he sold insurance).

But I'm still mad at myself for not being able to connect with Alistar. And on the flight back home, I sat next to this woman. She recognized me. We started to talk. But what she wanted to talk about was her own experiences of losing a mother - hers was to cancer. We were around the same age. Both of us were the oldest kids in our family. And both of us coped by sort of martyring ourselves, thinking "dad's going through too much right now, and the youngest kids are too broken up - so YOU have to keep stuff going." Which, actually works until you go to bed, then, you're so exhausted, that you start crying uncontrollably, because all of those emotions you suppressed come flooding back with a vengence when there's nothing to do.

Anyway - she needed to get that out. And when we left, I realized I didn't say anything about the Autobots. Another opportunity lost. So, I failed in my objective.

Sorry, Crosscut - I can't be a walking advertisement. If I don't meet this goal, it better not be the reason I didn't get my 2 percent raise this year.