User blog:Spikewitwicky/Spike's Journal Entry - March 12th, 2015



I'm back on Earth. The trip was a bit uncomfortable. Marissa was fairly pissed off for various reasons. Her father 's in a hospital of an unknown location, and Cobra is making some inways again. And to top it off, the only Autobot who could take us back to Earth was Gears - who is always a beacon of great conversation.

So - I'm back in Autobot City. And here's the part of the story where the wonderful 'black' and 'white' definitions of good and evil, right and wrong, go markedly grey. As soon as we got back, Marissa was ready to engage Cobra. And she gave me a "you're coming, right?" look. I just got back home. Dad has Helperbot, but he's not at an age where he really should be left alone for long periods of time. Add that my medical boards are coming up. AND Jumal is coming. I have a life and responsibilities here. And - when Marissa was showing me how to fire my side-arm, I realized I am so not a warrior. I have no problems finding an armored suit or being in a shuttle and blasting a Decepticon. But having a gun and pointing it at another human - who I could legitimately end their life? That's far more... permanent.

But I can't help but think of what may be going through Marissa's head. She's risked herself a few times already with Autobot-related missions. Why shouldn't she expect the same from me?

Well, I'll tell you. Optimus Prime has a very clear-cut definition of when the Autobots should interfere with human events - and when they shouldn't (unless an exception comes up - to be later determined by his infinite wisdom). And I would never say this to Flint's face, but no matter how much trouble Cobra stirs up, it's peanuts to your typical Decepticon plan. Oh, Cobra hijacked a building in Tokyo? The Decepticons just roped off Tokyo and began building New Cybertron - version 2.0. As much as I want to see Cobra defeated, I truly believe Prime sees Cobra as a nasty virus in the growth span of the body that is humanity. We have to weed out this virus itself (yes, I'm getting my metaphors mixed, it's still very early).

I'm not ready to join the Joes. I don't want to join the Joes. I have plenty of work here. I convinced Marissa to let me at least crash here and get some stuff organized for my dad, Carly, and everyone else. I think today, I may consider a transition team for EDC. Marissa has every right to expect me to lay my life on the line to fight Cobra - just as she risks her life to fight the Decepticons. But the Decepticons are a world threat. They've shown when they're serious, even the Joes and Cobra can work together to defeat them. But I don't know if I'm willing to risk not only my life, but my family (Daniel's in college - and has virtually no security on him - wouldn't Cobra be interested in him if I fully joined the fight against Cobra?). Plus, I'm pushing 40, and I think the closest thing I came to military combat training is in the 6th grade when dad enrolled me in karate (I think I have a yellow belt).

But still - god, I know I'm overthinking this. I want to be part of EDC. I want to be the voice of the Autobots to the Joes. But my heart's with the Autobots. Not with the Joes.